It Was 10 Years Ago

The goal of this blog is to provoke deeper dinner-table discussion. Please print and share with someone tonight.
Happy Birthday to our friend Pinchas in Jerusalem!

Bill Cosby has done me a big favor.

Mr. Father-Figure has made it really easy for me to speak about my real father.

Ten Years ago this coming Sunday (on the Jewish calendar), my father was on a ladder.

He was trimming a tree.

He was preparing for our visit a week later.

He just had to get that one last branch.

My mother was by his side when he fell, and stayed by his side all the way to the hospital, the rest of the day and into the night when he died.

"To everything there is a season... a time to be born and a time to die" (Ecclesiastes).

The 1,000 people at his funeral all felt that it was too early for him to die.

In honor of his 10th yahrzeit, I am planning a special memorial Table Talk next week.

This week, prior to the yahrzeit, I would like to share one thought about his short life, followed by a question for your table.

This morning, the pundits are of course all talking about William Henry Cosby, Jr.

How he had represented the ideal of fatherhood.

How he had been a personal role model for so many people.

Now civil rights leaders are asking them to remove his star from the Hollywood sidewalk.

"Not gonna happen," says Walk-of-Fame apologist Leron Gubler.

Gubler, Hollywood Chamber of Commerce president and chief executive, says that there is nothing a celebrity can do, no matter how despicable, to change his star status.

If you can make millions of people laugh*, Hollywood shall honor you forever.

What does all of this have to do with my father?

Welll, quite simply, he didn't have 1,000 people at his funeral because he made them laugh.

Question for your table:

What kind of people do you want to come to your funeral

(a) those who love you because you're funny, or rich and famous?
(b) those who love you because you have lived a life of honesty and integrity?


Shabbat Shalom

"Who is truly honorable? He who honors others." (Avot 4:1)

"There are 3 'crowns': The crown of the Torah (i.e., wisdom), the crown of the priesthood (i.e., spiritual greatness), and the crown of kingship (i.e., poltical leadership), but the crown of a good name surpasses them all." (Avot 4:17)

PS - This just came to my inbox: https://www.facebook.com/WBTVMollyGrantham/videos/1059035014106981/
Highly recommended 10-minute viewing on today's theme. Narrated by Tom Hanks.


* (and an undesclosed number of studio executives rich)

 

Like this post? How about voting with your finger: Like it, tweet it, or just forward it.

Tunnel Vision

The goal of this blog is to expand the vision of your Friday night dinner. Please print and share.
In honor of Shelly's birthday... Happy Birthday, Shelly!
In memory of Anita Ghitzes, who passed away this week.
To dedicate a future Table Talk, send an email
 

Last week's email, What's in a Doorpost, drew a large response.

Maybe that's because of a deep je-ne-sais-quoi that resonated. Or maybe it was just the contest.

In any event, this week is the sequel.

Let's go back two weeks, to Friday August 1st. What can you remember from that day?

That was the day of the first cease-fire, that Hamas broke by sending a suicide bomber through an attack tunnel.

(Cease Fire: We cease, you fire.)

Hamas first claimed that they had kidnapped an Israeli soldier - Hadar Goldin (pictured here). It later turned out that he had been killed by the explosion.

In fact, his body was ripped apart.

Reportedly, after the bombing, a second Hamas team emerged from the tunnel, grabbed parts of his body and dashed back into their attack tunnel which led  into a mosque. From the mosque, they escaped in a clearly marked UNRWA ambulance. The terrorists then made contact with high-ranking Hamas officials hiding in the Islamic University.

As a result Abu Marzook, a senior member of Hamas, announced in Cairo that Hamas had kidnapped an Israeli soldier. Israeli intelligence intercepted a conversation between the kidnappers and the Hamas officials at the Islamic University and thus got all the particulars regarding the hiding place of the kidnappers. Within minutes, the IAF attacked both the kidnappers' location and the Islamic University.

In the midst of this attack, a second force of IDF soldiers--which had gone into the mosque looking for weapons, explosives, and rockets-- encountered a young female wearing a suicide belt. She made a motion to detonate it and the soldiers realized that they were all about to die. One of them instinctively shouted the opening words of the holiest Jewish prayer “Shema Yisrael”!

She hesitated and began trembling, giving the soldiers a chance to grab her and disable the device.

The soldiers then took her to a counter-intelligence unit for interrogation. Their investigation uncovered that the would-be bomber’s mother was an Israeli Jew who had married a Palestinian in Israel and, after the wedding, was smuggled against her will into Gaza. There she lived a life filled with abuse and humiliation, and was basically a captive. In addition to the female suicide bomber, there were two smaller children as well. An armored force went in and rescued the two siblings.

Questions for your table....

Is this suicide bomber (and her two siblings) Jewish or Palestinian?
How does their rescue change the way you look at the death of Hadar Goldin?
How does Hadar Goldin's death change the way you look at life?

Shabbat Shalom

PS - There is still time to get a subscription to our new Amazing Nature for Teachers program - for your child's teacher or school - does your child's or grandchild's school even know about it?

Like this email? How about putting your mouse where your mouth is: Like it, tweet it, or just forward it to someone who might enjoy it.

As always, this message can be read online at http://rabbiseinfeld.blogspot.com

Are You a VIP?

The purpose of this email is to promote life-altering conversation at the Shabbat table. Please print and share.
 
The other day, the five-minute hourly newscast included this breaking news.... can you fill in the blank?

"Actor Allan Arbus has died. He was best known for his role as _________________."

So strong is the lure of the VIP that some people who cannot achieve it do the next best thing, try to take the VIPs down from their pedastals. There is even a cottage industry in death hoaxes, such as this recent one.

These news items lead us to this week's first question for your table: Are you at all tempted to click on the graphic to the left?

Even the slightest bit?

Not even slightly curious about what it takes?

Come on, be honest.

If you look around our world, who are the VIPs?

It's easy to tell. Whoever, when they die of old age, their passing away gets mentioned in the news:

- Just about anyone who ever starred in a movie or television show, even if it was 50 years ago
- Anyone who invented, created or discovered something useful or unusually beautiful
- Anyone who broke some kind of record, even if it was entirely by accident (like the world's tallest man)
- Anyone with a billion dollars or more.
- Anyone else?

A rabbi in the Talmud rejects all those definitions of VIP.

The true path to VIP-hood, says the rabbi called Ben Zoma, is open to anyone. It's a level playing field. Follow his advice and you can become a true VIP, regardless of your talent, genes or luck.

What it takes to be a true VIP is simply treating others with respect.

Your spouse, your children, your parents, your neighbors, the clerk in the grocery store, the stranger on the street.

The greatest VIPs are those who honor others all the time.

Did I mention your spouse?

Did I mention your parents?


Second question for your table:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how big a VIP are you? What's missing?


Shabbat Shalom

PS - Want to make your Table Talk rabbi happy? Like it, tweet it, or just send the link to someone who might enjoy it.

Business as Usual

Whoops - I sent out last week's TT to the email list but forgot to post it on the blog! Sorry to all blog readers. Here it is, and shortly to be followed by this week's TT...

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Mazal tov to our friends Ben and Lindy Sovin of London on the birth of a baby boy this week.

Thank you again to all those who contributed to our successful pledge drive in December. We raised nearly $2,000 in small (under $500) contributions and about as much in large contributions. Your support makes this Table Talk as well as our other programs possible.

+ + + + + + +

Business as Usual

This personal account by Starbucks Chairman Howard Schultz is a great conversation starter for your dinner table....

"A Blanket of Trust"

At the end of the day, when business is really good, it's not about building a brand or making money. That's a means to an end. It's about honoring the human spirit, honoring the people who work in the business and honoring the customer.

When I was in Israel, I went to Mea Shearim, the ultra-Orthodox area within Jerusalem. Along with a group of businessmen, I had the opportunity to have an audience with Rabbi [Nosson Tzvi] Finkel, the head of a yeshiva there [Mir Yeshiva]. I had never heard of him and did not know anything about him. We went into his study and waited ten to 15 minutes for him. Finally, the doors opened.

What we did not know was that Rabbi Finkel was severely afflicted with Parkinson's disease. He sat down at the head of the table, and, naturally, our inclination was to look away. We did not want to embarrass him.

We were all looking away, and we heard this big bang on the table: "Gentlemen, look at me, and look at me right now." Now his speech affliction was worse than his physical shaking. It was really hard to listen to him and watch him. He said, "I have only a few minutes for you because I know you are all busy American businessmen." You know, just a little dig there.

Then he asked, "Who can tell me what the lesson of the Holocaust is?" He called on one guy, who did not know what to do - it was like being called on in the fifth grade without the answer. And the guy says something benign like, "We will never, ever forget." And the rabbi completely dismisses him. I felt terrible for the guy until I realized the rabbi was getting ready to call on someone else. All of us were sort of under the table, looking away - you know, please, not me. He did not call me. I was sweating. He called on another guy, who had such a fantastic answer: "We will never, ever again be a victim or bystander."

The rabbi said, "You guys just do not get it. Okay, gentlemen, let me tell you the essence of the human spirit.

"As you know, during the Holocaust, the people were transported in the worst possible, inhumane way by railcar. They thought they were going to a work camp. We all know they were going to a death camp.

"After hours and hours in this inhumane corral with no light, no bathroom, cold, they arrived at the camps. The doors were swung wide open, and they were blinded by the light. Men were separated from women, mothers from daughters, fathers from sons. They went off to the bunkers to sleep.

"As they went into the area to sleep, only one person was given a blanket for every six. The person who received the blanket, when he went to bed, had to decide, 'Am I going to push the blanket to the five other people who did not get one, or am I going to pull it toward myself to stay warm?'"

And Rabbi Finkel says, "It was during this defining moment that we learned the power of the human spirit, because we pushed the blanket to five others."

And with that, he stood up and said, "Take your blanket. Take it back to America and push it to five other people."

Two questions for your table: What's your "business as usual"? What's your "blanket"?


Shabbat Shalom

PPS - Have you seen our amazing video of the week? http://jsli.org

The goal of this blog is to give you a conversation-starter for your Friday night dinner table. Please print and share.

Business as Unusual

Mazal tov to our friends Ben and Lindy Sovin of London on the birth of a baby boy this week.

Thank you again to all those who contributed to our successful pledge drive in December. We raised nearly $2,000 in small (under $500) contributions and about as much in large contributions. Your support makes this Table Talk as well as our other programs possible.

This personal account by Starbucks Chairman Howard Schultz is a great conversation starter for your dinner table....

"A Blanket of Trust"

At the end of the day, when business is really good, it's not about building a brand or making money. That's a means to an end. It's about honoring the human spirit, honoring the people who work in the business and honoring the customer.

When I was in Israel, I went to Mea Shearim, the ultra-Orthodox area within Jerusalem. Along with a group of businessmen, I had the opportunity to have an audience with Rabbi [Nosson Tzvi] Finkel, the head of a yeshiva there [Mir Yeshiva]. I had never heard of him and did not know anything about him. We went into his study and waited ten to 15 minutes for him. Finally, the doors opened.

What we did not know was that Rabbi Finkel was severely afflicted with Parkinson's disease. He sat down at the head of the table, and, naturally, our inclination was to look away. We did not want to embarrass him.

We were all looking away, and we heard this big bang on the table: "Gentlemen, look at me, and look at me right now." Now his speech affliction was worse than his physical shaking. It was really hard to listen to him and watch him. He said, "I have only a few minutes for you because I know you are all busy American businessmen." You know, just a little dig there.

Then he asked, "Who can tell me what the lesson of the Holocaust is?" He called on one guy, who did not know what to do - it was like being called on in the fifth grade without the answer. And the guy says something benign like, "We will never, ever forget." And the rabbi completely dismisses him. I felt terrible for the guy until I realized the rabbi was getting ready to call on someone else. All of us were sort of under the table, looking away - you know, please, not me. He did not call me. I was sweating. He called on another guy, who had such a fantastic answer: "We will never, ever again be a victim or bystander."

The rabbi said, "You guys just do not get it. Okay, gentlemen, let me tell you the essence of the human spirit.

"As you know, during the Holocaust, the people were transported in the worst possible, inhumane way by railcar. They thought they were going to a work camp. We all know they were going to a death camp.

"After hours and hours in this inhumane corral with no light, no bathroom, cold, they arrived at the camps. The doors were swung wide open, and they were blinded by the light. Men were separated from women, mothers from daughters, fathers from sons. They went off to the bunkers to sleep.

"As they went into the area to sleep, only one person was given a blanket for every six. The person who received the blanket, when he went to bed, had to decide, 'Am I going to push the blanket to the five other people who did not get one, or am I going to pull it toward myself to stay warm?'"

And Rabbi Finkel says, "It was during this defining moment that we learned the power of the human spirit, because we pushed the blanket to five others."

And with that, he stood up and said, "Take your blanket. Take it back to America and push it to five other people."


Question for your table: What's your "blanket"? What could you do that you are not already doing?

Shabbat Shalom

PS - Have you seen our amazing video of the week? http://jsli.org

The goal of this blog is to give you a conversation-starter for your Friday night dinner table. Please print and share.

On Ice and Snow

Attention all ye snow birds out there, and that includes you Easterners who are really really ready to see springtime arrive...

What comes first, righteousness or holiness?

Let's say someone is acting all holy, keeping kosher, praying, that kind of thing, but speaks a lot of gossip. Or cheats on their taxes. How do you react?

Pretty disappointing, right?

OK, let's say someone is super-duper ethical in action and speech, but has no spiritual practice, in fact disdains "spirituality" as "mythology" and is exceedingly proud of his or her great accomplishments. How do you react?

I used to be a big fan of the Winter Olympics.

I particularly loved the Giant Slalom (perhaps because as a skier, I could somewhat relate to the sport).

What changed me was a realization that the thesis of "human perfection" has a spiritual antithesis, of humility.

The Olympics do not seem to encourage nor honor humility.

Just look at the face of the Russian figure skater, standing on the podium with his silver medal.

Silver! He ought to be thrilled. But he has the scowl of a sore loser.

Righteousness is like striving for the gold.

Holiness is like being happy with whatever the outcome may be, whether Gold, Silver, or even being disqualified or falling during your routine.

How do you fall on this topic? Here's the big question you can ask your table to flush out where everyone stands:

With whom would you rather spend an hour and why:

A) Your favorite Olympian (or pro athlete)
B) His Holiness the Dalai Lama (or other comparable person)

If you answered "B" - how does your time cultivating holiness compare to your time watching sports?

These days, I've become a "small" fan of the Olympics.

Shabbat Shalom


He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. - Churchill

How to Win and Influence

What do the following items have in common:

Red paper clip
Pen shaped like a fish
Doorknob shaped like a face
Barbecue
Generator
Keg of beer
Snowmobile
Holiday in Yahk, BC
Small truck
1-day recording deal
1-year home rental
Day with Alice Cooper
Kiss Snow-Globe
Speaking part in a movie
House in Kipling, Saskatchewan

You may have seen this story back in 2006, or maybe you missed it.

You can watch the 8 minute report from ABC, and then get a lot of mileage from it at the dinner table:


Try telling the story over at your dinner table. You can print this page to remember the colorful details.

The question is... What’s most impressive – his creativity, his resourcefulness or his altruism?


Shabbat Shalom


“If the human race wishes to have a prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity, they have only got to behave in a peaceful and helpful way toward one another.” - Churchill

You're Late, You're Late, For a Very Important Date

Dedicated to Batya bat Kayla who is having surgery and needs a speedy recovery.

It's almost Rosh Hashana.... So what?

I am completely revising my 1 page guide, "22 Questions to Think About On Rosh Hashana". The 2009 edition is more meditative, linked to hearing the shofar. It should be ready by Monday or Tuesday. If you would like a copy, send an email.

In the meantime, I recommend the values analysis for you and your table.

Here's how it works:

On a scale of one to five (five being the highest), how important are the following to you? You cannot have more than three 5s or three 4s, and you must have at least two 3s, two 2s and two 1s.

1. Family
2. Being well educated
3. Making a contribution to my community
4. Marriage
5. Spirituality
6. Being well-liked
7. Having a good reputation
8. Financial success
9. Being Jewish
10. Peer recognition in my career or profession.
11. Personal fulfillment\
12. Helping other people
13. Having a good Jewish education
14. Making a contribution to humanity
15. Achieving peace of mind
16. Having children
17. Living in the home of my dreams
18. Acquiring self-knowledge
19. Giving my children a strong Jewish identity
20. Living a long, healthy life.

From Rosh Hashana/Yom Kippur Survival Kit by Shimon Apisdorf.
Used with permission.

Here's a light-hearted shofar clip to get you in the mood:


Shabbat Shalom