It Was 10 Years Ago

The goal of this blog is to provoke deeper dinner-table discussion. Please print and share with someone tonight.
Happy Birthday to our friend Pinchas in Jerusalem!

Bill Cosby has done me a big favor.

Mr. Father-Figure has made it really easy for me to speak about my real father.

Ten Years ago this coming Sunday (on the Jewish calendar), my father was on a ladder.

He was trimming a tree.

He was preparing for our visit a week later.

He just had to get that one last branch.

My mother was by his side when he fell, and stayed by his side all the way to the hospital, the rest of the day and into the night when he died.

"To everything there is a season... a time to be born and a time to die" (Ecclesiastes).

The 1,000 people at his funeral all felt that it was too early for him to die.

In honor of his 10th yahrzeit, I am planning a special memorial Table Talk next week.

This week, prior to the yahrzeit, I would like to share one thought about his short life, followed by a question for your table.

This morning, the pundits are of course all talking about William Henry Cosby, Jr.

How he had represented the ideal of fatherhood.

How he had been a personal role model for so many people.

Now civil rights leaders are asking them to remove his star from the Hollywood sidewalk.

"Not gonna happen," says Walk-of-Fame apologist Leron Gubler.

Gubler, Hollywood Chamber of Commerce president and chief executive, says that there is nothing a celebrity can do, no matter how despicable, to change his star status.

If you can make millions of people laugh*, Hollywood shall honor you forever.

What does all of this have to do with my father?

Welll, quite simply, he didn't have 1,000 people at his funeral because he made them laugh.

Question for your table:

What kind of people do you want to come to your funeral

(a) those who love you because you're funny, or rich and famous?
(b) those who love you because you have lived a life of honesty and integrity?


Shabbat Shalom

"Who is truly honorable? He who honors others." (Avot 4:1)

"There are 3 'crowns': The crown of the Torah (i.e., wisdom), the crown of the priesthood (i.e., spiritual greatness), and the crown of kingship (i.e., poltical leadership), but the crown of a good name surpasses them all." (Avot 4:17)

PS - This just came to my inbox: https://www.facebook.com/WBTVMollyGrantham/videos/1059035014106981/
Highly recommended 10-minute viewing on today's theme. Narrated by Tom Hanks.


* (and an undesclosed number of studio executives rich)

 

Like this post? How about voting with your finger: Like it, tweet it, or just forward it.

Are You a VIP?

The purpose of this email is to promote life-altering conversation at the Shabbat table. Please print and share.
 
The other day, the five-minute hourly newscast included this breaking news.... can you fill in the blank?

"Actor Allan Arbus has died. He was best known for his role as _________________."

So strong is the lure of the VIP that some people who cannot achieve it do the next best thing, try to take the VIPs down from their pedastals. There is even a cottage industry in death hoaxes, such as this recent one.

These news items lead us to this week's first question for your table: Are you at all tempted to click on the graphic to the left?

Even the slightest bit?

Not even slightly curious about what it takes?

Come on, be honest.

If you look around our world, who are the VIPs?

It's easy to tell. Whoever, when they die of old age, their passing away gets mentioned in the news:

- Just about anyone who ever starred in a movie or television show, even if it was 50 years ago
- Anyone who invented, created or discovered something useful or unusually beautiful
- Anyone who broke some kind of record, even if it was entirely by accident (like the world's tallest man)
- Anyone with a billion dollars or more.
- Anyone else?

A rabbi in the Talmud rejects all those definitions of VIP.

The true path to VIP-hood, says the rabbi called Ben Zoma, is open to anyone. It's a level playing field. Follow his advice and you can become a true VIP, regardless of your talent, genes or luck.

What it takes to be a true VIP is simply treating others with respect.

Your spouse, your children, your parents, your neighbors, the clerk in the grocery store, the stranger on the street.

The greatest VIPs are those who honor others all the time.

Did I mention your spouse?

Did I mention your parents?


Second question for your table:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how big a VIP are you? What's missing?


Shabbat Shalom

PS - Want to make your Table Talk rabbi happy? Like it, tweet it, or just send the link to someone who might enjoy it.