Friday, April 27, 2007

Love Yer Neighbor

This week’s Table Talk is dedicated to Yiddel ben Fruma for a speedy recovery. (To dedicate a future Table Talk, please send an email.)


There was a remarkable interview on the radio this week. I heard the head of General Motors asked to explain why his company has been outpaced by Toyota.

He replied with stunning honesty: “We were blinded by low gasoline prices and sales of SUVs.” Suddenly, gas shot up to $3.50 a gallon and we were unprepared.


So this leads to a question for your table:

How should a person react when you hear that someone else did or is doing better than you?

You get a “B” on a test, your friend gets an “A” - how should you react?

You’re an Orioles fan, how do you feel towards Red Sox fans?

You make $40 an hour, your third cousin makes $200,000 an hour, how should you feel about that?


The converse question is also worth asking:

How should a person react to another’s difficulties?

You got an “A” on your test and your rival got a “A-”, how do you feel?

You’re walking through the library and you see someone’s jacket has fallen off their chair onto the floor. The owner is not around. Pick it up or ignore it?

You see someone parked and left their lights on. Do you ignore it or try to rectify the situation?

A friend or family member makes a dietary change (starts to eat vegan, low-carb, kosher, halal, etc.) - do you try to accommodate happily or make a fuss?

The Jewish idea of “love your neighbor” does not mean that you always have to put your neighbor first. The full expression is “love your neighbor as yourself” - I should treat another person’s property, feelings and honor as well as I treat my own.

Ask people at your table to come up with their own situations where one’s commitment to “love your neighbor” is challenged.

Do you remember Professor Librescu (last week’s hero from Virginia Tech who did put other people's needs before his own)? At his funeral last Friday, his widow said that his favorite mitzvah was lighting Shabbat candles. She asked that Jewish people around the world light candles in his memory, for the uplift of his neshoma (soul).

To check the candle-lighting time where you are, look up sunset on your local weather page and subtract 18 minutes, or go to this website or this one.


Shabbat Shalom.


My upcoming speaking schedule:
May 14 – New York and New Jersey
June 12-14 – San Francisco area classes
June 15-16 – Shabbat Scholar-in-Residence, San Francisco
Late June – Philadelphia (TBA)

(For details, send an email.)

Yiddish of the week:
neshoma (neh-SHOH-ma) — soul

Yiddish review - how many do you know?
anee — poor person
koptsen — panhandler
ballaboss — homeowner; layman
nu — various meanings (see archives)
mishpocha — family
mameh — mother
tateh — father
mazal – (MAH-z’l) luck or fortune, as in, “It was good mazal that....”
beshert – (b’shairt) - meant to be, as in “It was beshert that...”
mine eltern – my parents
mine lair-er – my teacher
hamantashen – Haman-pockets
zeigezunt – all the best (said upon parting)
kesher - connection
Ikh volt veln a kave, zayt azoy gut. - I'd like a coffee, please.
...kave mit shmant. – ...a coffee with cream.
...kave mit milkh. – ...a coffee with milk.
...kave mit tsuker. - ...a coffee with sugar.
Di Fir Kashes - The Four Questions
Oy vey! - Good grief!
mensch — a decent person
rachmanos — mercy

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Hero Talk

In memory of Liviu Librescu, the Holocaust survivor whose heroic life came to a horrible yet heroic end at Virginia Tech.

If someone offered you $315 million, would you take it?


This week’s events brought to mind Ben Franklin’s quip that the only certain thing in life is death and taxes.

Heroism is certainly not certain. Even if you’ve read about Prof. Librescu already, you may find this short article worth your time:

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/122137

To those who are looking for answers, bemoaning the violence in the popular media, I would point out that most of what we consider “great literature” is full of death and destruction. The Torah has its fair share, to say the least. And great pacifists have grown up reading this stuff. So I’m not sure that the exposure itself is the issue.

From what we read of Prof. Librescu’s life, he was a kind soul, a loving husband and father, an enthusiastic teacher – a mensch, in fact. He put other people’s needs before his own – he had rachmanus. Was his a just fate?

Let’s look at another recent news item about fate, fortune and values:

2002 Powerball winner Jack Whittaker wishes he had never won.

The irony of his regret is that he did not use the jackpot to indulge himself. He only wanted to give to others. But the fortune and fame destroyed his family.

“I wish I'd torn that ticket up,” he told ABC News.

You can read why here (warning – it’s not a pleasant story).

Question for your table: If someone offered you $315 million (before taxes) - no strings attached - would you take it?

What if, in order to get the money, you had to do one single act of embarrassing another person in public?

OK, let’s keep the no-strings attached. I assume the answer would be yes... But before we give you the money, we’d like you to make one more choice: Would you rather keep the $315 million or trade it for a once-in-your-lifetime chance to save one person’s life (if you pass this up, you’ll never have another similar opportunity)?

May the families and friends be comforted, along with all other mourners.


Shabbat Shalom.


My upcoming speaking schedule (For details, send an email.):
April 20-21 – Shabbat in L.A. with Rebbetzin Jungreis (LAX Westin)
May 14 – New York and New Jersey
June 12-13 – 2 San Francisco salons
June 15-16 – Art of Amazement Shabbat in San Francisco

Yiddish of the week:
rachmanos — mercy

Yiddish review
anee — poor person
koptsen — panhandler
ballaboss — homeowner; layman
nu — various meanings (see archives)
mishpocha — family
mameh — mother
tateh — father
mazal – (MAH-z’l) luck or fortune, as in, “It was good mazal that....”
beshert – (b’shairt) - meant to be, as in “It was beshert that...”
mine eltern – my parents
mine lair-er – my teacher
hamantashen – Haman-pockets
zeigezunt – all the best (said upon parting)
kesher - connection
Ikh volt veln a kave, zayt azoy gut. - I'd like a coffee, please.
...kave mit shmant. – ...a coffee with cream.
...kave mit milkh. – ...a coffee with milk.
...kave mit tsuker. - ...a coffee with sugar.
Di Fir Kashes - The Four Questions
Oy vey! - Good grief!
mensch — a decent person

Friday, April 13, 2007

VonneguTalk

This week’s Table Talk is dedicated to Yiddel ben Fruma for a speedy recovery.


Question for your table: What is Vonnegut’s most “Jewish” story?

Slaughterhouse 5, which deplores the horrors of war?
Cat’s Cradle, a satire about tikkun-olam?
Breakfast of Champions which challenges the reader’s perception of reality?

I vote for the short story, “Harrison Bergeron”, which begins, “It was the year 2081 and finally everyone was equal.” (I’m quoting from memory.)

Of course, the way that people are equal is that anyone above mediocre in any way is forced to wear a “handicap” - strong people wear weights, smart people wear headphones that made thought-disrupting noises every minute, beautiful people wear ugly masks. All these handicaps are enforced by the Handicapper General, Diana Moon-Glompers.

Here’s the entire short story online (it’s a quick read): http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/hb.html


So how do we steer our world away from Vonnegutian horrors like Handicapper Generals and Suicide Parlors?

It seems to me that the first step is to cultivate the ability to say “I don’t know”, “I was wrong” and “I’m sorry”. Think of how many messy situations “I don’t know” and “I was wrong” would have saved us from, both on a personal and a macro-scale. Even an occasional “I’m sorry” can work wonders.

In Plato’s Republic the ideal leader is a Philosopher King who is eminently qualified due to his erudition.

In a Jewish utopia, the wise leader’s ability to model “I don’t know”, “I was wrong” and “I’m sorry” must come before the erudition. Erudition without these qualities will not endure.

If you want to become truly great in your relationships - to be a real mensch - here’s a secret:

Tonight, lock yourself in the bathroom and practice saying again and again to the mirror: “I was wrong!” “I’m wrong!” “I’m sorry.” Five minutes a day until you get good at it.

In memory of the critical-thinking Vonnegut who opened many minds, here’s a poem of his that I memorized the first time I read it:

We do, doodly do, doodly do
What me must, muddily must, muddily must
Muddily do, muddily do, muddily do
Til we bust, bodily bust, bodily bust.


Shabbat Shalom


My upcoming speaking schedule (For details, send an email.):
April 20-21 – Shabbat in Los Angeles with Rebbetzin Jungreis
May 4-5 – Shabbat in San Francisco POSTPONED UNTIL JUNE
May 6-7 – various San Francisco locations
May 14 – New York and New Jersey
June 12 – San Francisco


Yiddish of the week:
mensch — a decent person

Yiddish review
anee — poor person
koptsen — panhandler
ballaboss — homeowner; layman
nu — various meanings (see archives)
mishpocha — family
mameh — mother
tateh — father
mazal – (MAH-z’l) luck or fortune, as in, “It was good mazal that....”
beshert – (b’shairt) - meant to be, as in “It was beshert that...”
mine eltern – my parents
mine lair-er – my teacher
hamantashen – Haman-pockets
zeigezunt – all the best (said upon parting)
kesher - connection
Ikh volt veln a kave, zayt azoy gut. - I'd like a coffee, please.
...kave mit shmant. – ...a coffee with cream.
...kave mit milkh. – ...a coffee with milk.
...kave mit tsuker. - ...a coffee with sugar.
Di Fir Kashes - The Four Questions
Oy vey! - Good grief!

Friday, April 06, 2007

Hash-M Talk

Israel in a nutshell (“G” Section):

President Harry Truman to Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir: "You have no idea what it is to be a president of a country of 200 million people."
Meir’s retort: "You have no idea of what is to be a prime minister of a country of 2 million prime ministers."


Passover in a nutshell (“PG” Section):

Get rid of your chametz (leavening/materialism) and bring in the matzah (unleavened/spiritual).

What about vodka? Some are made with potatoes, some with wheat.

What about beer? Contains barley.

What about beer shampoo?

What about Quaker Oats? Legumes? What about, what about....

What about....marijuana?

Oy vey - Did I hear the rabbi say...marijuana?

Well, if you were a pot-smoker, in violation of the law in America or Israel, would you care about whether or not it were kosher for Passover?

I’m not advocating, I’m asking. I’m asking you to put yourself in the pot-smoker’s shoes. Could you possibly imagine this headline in Israel:


Pro-marijuana party tells supporters: Pot smoking forbidden on Passover


Of course, we’re talking about Israel, where the crazy is normal and the normal is crazy. And one of the easiest things to do is start your own political party (“now that’s what I call a party!”)

No, I’m not making this up.

That is indeed a legitimate Haaretz headline to an AP story. If you don’t believe me, here is the link: http://tinyurl.com/2n9f5u

OK, so let’s say – just for the sake of discussion – that you’re a strictly-kosher pot-smoking Israeli. You’ve got all this dope to get rid of before the holiday. You’ve been doing your best, but it’s Passover-eve and you’ve still got a bag or two and all your friends are busy making matzah balls. Theoretically you could flush it down the toilet or even throw it in the trash. But the ancient tradition is to burn your chametz...

Oy vey! What can you do? A mitzvah’s a mitzvah, after all.

Happy Passover, for a few more days.


My upcoming speaking schedule (For details, send an email.):
April 20-21 – Shabbat in Los Angeles with Rebbetzin Jungreis
May 4-5 – Shabbat in San Francisco
May 6-7 – various San Francisco locations
May 14 – New York and New Jersey
June 12 – San Francisco


Yiddish of the week:
Oy vey! — Good grief!
Yiddish review
anee — poor person
koptsen — panhandler
ballaboss — homeowner; layman
nu — various meanings (see archives)
mishpocha — family
mameh — mother
tateh — father
mazal – (MAH-z’l) luck or fortune, as in, “It was good mazal that....”
beshert – (b’shairt) - meant to be, as in “It was beshert that...”
mine eltern – my parents
mine lair-er – my teacher
hamantashen – Haman-pockets
zeigezunt – all the best (said upon parting)
kesher - connection
Ikh volt veln a kave, zayt azoy gut. - I'd like a coffee, please.
...kave mit shmant. – ...a coffee with cream.
...kave mit milkh. – ...a coffee with milk.
...kave mit tsuker. - ...a coffee with sugar.
Di Fir Kashes - The Four Questions