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Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld
September 5-6, 2025 • 13 Elul 5785 • Ki Seitsei (Deut 21-25).
Picking up from last week's topic of negotiating and giving in...
Here's an analogy based on something that happened just yesterday.
Decided to try out a new cafe.
Put into Waze "coffee" and it comes up with Such-and-Such Coffee Roasters. I like the sound of that. "Roasted coffee" sounds much more appealing than just "coffee," no?
Waze delivers. It really is a coffee roaster - it's in an industrial building alongside a brewery and distillery. Each has a tasting room.
No food, no fancy, just coffee! Hardly even any seating, most of the room is filled with shelves of giant burlap coffee sacks, some full, many waiting to be filled.
This is going to be good - the real deal!
When I step up to the counter, a slightly-annoyed-looking young man with very long hair appears.
- May I please have a cup of coffee?
- What size?
- What are my options?
- Small, medium, and large.
- Hmm... so many choices!
- How about we go for medium - not too large, not too small?
- Fine.
He doesn't offer cream or milk of any sort, just black coffee. My kind of place, ever since I quit adding sugar 4 years ago.
Even better: he hands me my black coffee in a corrogated cup emblazoned with just one word, "COMPOSTABLE".
Nice. Love the inattention to branding. Love the simplicity.
I take it outside to one of the tiny tables - it's a lovely day, with a lovely green view.
Smells good. This is definitely going to be good - the real deal!
Here's the catch: the coffee tastes terrible.
(OK, so maybe that wasn't so nice to say. I suppose I could say that it tasted terrible to me or it wasn't to my taste.)
Surely somebody loves that brand of coffee!
I'm not saying it was bad because it was bitter... All black coffee is bitter. But there's bitter bitter and there's better bitter.
But how terrible was it? Undrinkable? No, I could drink it. I didn't savor it, that's for sure. I didn't even finish the cup. Its taste didn't ruin the rest of the experience, and certainly didn't ruin my day, and if I weren't writing this email, I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought.
The point of last week's email was the spiritual concept of being mevater - of not standing on your rights all the time, of giving in whenever possible, of seeking the path of happiness rather than righteousness. It's so hard to do, because everyone wants to be right, right?
It's a great word to add to your daily vocabulary: "I'll just be mevater." Or: "Thank you for being mevater."
Being mevater requires tremendous inner strength and self control. Imagine someone you love serves you something that you don't like... could you eat it with a smile and appreciate everything else about the experience other than the taste? If so, you're on the path to greatness.
Shabbat Shalom
PS - We've put a link to get this year's "40 Meditations for the High Holidays" on TorahHealth.org.
PPS - Yes, the pic is clickable as always...
Appreciated this Table Talk? Like it, tweet it, forward it....
Picking up from last week's topic of negotiating and giving in...Here's an analogy based on something that happened just yesterday.
Decided to try out a new cafe.
Put into Waze "coffee" and it comes up with Such-and-Such Coffee Roasters. I like the sound of that. "Roasted coffee" sounds much more appealing than just "coffee," no?
Waze delivers. It really is a coffee roaster - it's in an industrial building alongside a brewery and distillery. Each has a tasting room.
No food, no fancy, just coffee! Hardly even any seating, most of the room is filled with shelves of giant burlap coffee sacks, some full, many waiting to be filled.
This is going to be good - the real deal!
When I step up to the counter, a slightly-annoyed-looking young man with very long hair appears.
- May I please have a cup of coffee?
- What size?
- What are my options?
- Small, medium, and large.
- Hmm... so many choices!
- How about we go for medium - not too large, not too small?
- Fine.
He doesn't offer cream or milk of any sort, just black coffee. My kind of place, ever since I quit adding sugar 4 years ago.
Even better: he hands me my black coffee in a corrogated cup emblazoned with just one word, "COMPOSTABLE".
Nice. Love the inattention to branding. Love the simplicity.
I take it outside to one of the tiny tables - it's a lovely day, with a lovely green view.
Smells good. This is definitely going to be good - the real deal!
Here's the catch: the coffee tastes terrible.
(OK, so maybe that wasn't so nice to say. I suppose I could say that it tasted terrible to me or it wasn't to my taste.)
Surely somebody loves that brand of coffee!
I'm not saying it was bad because it was bitter... All black coffee is bitter. But there's bitter bitter and there's better bitter.
But how terrible was it? Undrinkable? No, I could drink it. I didn't savor it, that's for sure. I didn't even finish the cup. Its taste didn't ruin the rest of the experience, and certainly didn't ruin my day, and if I weren't writing this email, I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought.
The point of last week's email was the spiritual concept of being mevater - of not standing on your rights all the time, of giving in whenever possible, of seeking the path of happiness rather than righteousness. It's so hard to do, because everyone wants to be right, right?
It's a great word to add to your daily vocabulary: "I'll just be mevater." Or: "Thank you for being mevater."
Being mevater requires tremendous inner strength and self control. Imagine someone you love serves you something that you don't like... could you eat it with a smile and appreciate everything else about the experience other than the taste? If so, you're on the path to greatness.
Shabbat Shalom
PS - We've put a link to get this year's "40 Meditations for the High Holidays" on TorahHealth.org.
PPS - Yes, the pic is clickable as always...
Appreciated this Table Talk? Like it, tweet it, forward it....
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