Friday, April 06, 2007

Hash-M Talk

Israel in a nutshell (“G” Section):

President Harry Truman to Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir: "You have no idea what it is to be a president of a country of 200 million people."
Meir’s retort: "You have no idea of what is to be a prime minister of a country of 2 million prime ministers."

Passover in a nutshell (“PG” Section):

Get rid of your chametz (leavening/materialism) and bring in the matzah (unleavened/spiritual).

What about vodka? Some are made with potatoes, some with wheat.

What about beer? Contains barley.

What about beer shampoo?

What about Quaker Oats? Legumes? What about, what about....

What about....marijuana?

Oy vey - Did I hear the rabbi say...marijuana?

Well, if you were a pot-smoker, in violation of the law in America or Israel, would you care about whether or not it were kosher for Passover?

I’m not advocating, I’m asking. I’m asking you to put yourself in the pot-smoker’s shoes. Could you possibly imagine this headline in Israel:

Pro-marijuana party tells supporters: Pot smoking forbidden on Passover

Of course, we’re talking about Israel, where the crazy is normal and the normal is crazy. And one of the easiest things to do is start your own political party (“now that’s what I call a party!”)

No, I’m not making this up.

That is indeed a legitimate Haaretz headline to an AP story. If you don’t believe me, here is the link:

OK, so let’s say – just for the sake of discussion – that you’re a strictly-kosher pot-smoking Israeli. You’ve got all this dope to get rid of before the holiday. You’ve been doing your best, but it’s Passover-eve and you’ve still got a bag or two and all your friends are busy making matzah balls. Theoretically you could flush it down the toilet or even throw it in the trash. But the ancient tradition is to burn your chametz...

Oy vey! What can you do? A mitzvah’s a mitzvah, after all.

Happy Passover, for a few more days.

My upcoming speaking schedule (For details, send an email.):
April 20-21 – Shabbat in Los Angeles with Rebbetzin Jungreis
May 4-5 – Shabbat in San Francisco
May 6-7 – various San Francisco locations
May 14 – New York and New Jersey
June 12 – San Francisco

Yiddish of the week:
Oy vey! — Good grief!
Yiddish review
anee — poor person
koptsen — panhandler
ballaboss — homeowner; layman
nu — various meanings (see archives)
mishpocha — family
mameh — mother
tateh — father
mazal – (MAH-z’l) luck or fortune, as in, “It was good mazal that....”
beshert – (b’shairt) - meant to be, as in “It was beshert that...”
mine eltern – my parents
mine lair-er – my teacher
hamantashen – Haman-pockets
zeigezunt – all the best (said upon parting)
kesher - connection
Ikh volt veln a kave, zayt azoy gut. - I'd like a coffee, please.
...kave mit shmant. – ...a coffee with cream.
...kave mit milkh. – ...a coffee with milk.
...kave mit tsuker. - ...a coffee with sugar.
Di Fir Kashes - The Four Questions

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Shalom Aleichem, Alexander!

I happened upon your blog, very nice!

This post really cracked me up (I didn't intend the pun, that stuff is 'after my time,' you know what I mean).

Lots of hatzlachah, you can drop me a line at:

dschall at

Take care

David Schallheim