Vintage Wein

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

August 23-24 2025 • 29 Av 5785 • Re'ay (Deut 11-16).

Vintage Wein

The Jewish World has lost one of our heroes.

Rav Berel Wein died last Shabbat. 

You can read many eulogies about his remarkable life and impact on Jewish education.

I was lucky to have had two private conversations with him.

The first was in the late 1990s in Jerusalem when I escorted him to a lecture he gave to a visiting Federation Mission.

Although it was an evening program at the end of a long day, he showed no signs of fatigue and every sign of enthusiasm to connect with Jewish people.

I asked him if he agreed with the premise that intra-Jewish conflict was a greater threat to us than our external enemies. 

He said, "Absolutely, it's obvious, that's what Chazal (Talmudic Rabbis) say, that's what Josephus says, that's what we see when we study Jewish history."

And that is why Rav Wein's primary focus was teaching Jewish history. He would often say, "If you don't know where you come from, then you don't know where you are. And if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you're going... it's the key to faith and belief."

And therefore, he said, studying and teaching history is the key to solving this endless intra-Jewish conflict that has been our greatest enemy for thousands of years.

If you'd like to raise the bar for your own understanding of Jewish history, you could begin with one of his wonderful books.

Or one of his creative videos.

Or one of his lectures.

Or click on the pic above to see what's happening at his Jewish Destiny Foundation.

My second conversation with him was six years ago while developing Torah Health & Wellness. I asked him if he personally focused on this mitzvah, and how. He was very matter-of-fact: "Of course – you need to be healthy in order to achieve your purpose in this world." He said that he ate in moderation and exercised several times a week with a personal trainer (this was at age 85).

Question for your Shabbat table - Do you 👍🏼 or 👎🏼 with his view of the urgency of studying Jewish history? 

(And if you agree, what are you going to do about it?)

Shabbat Shalom


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Sweet the Small Stuff?

 

 

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

August 16-17, 2025 • 22 Av 5785 • Eikev (Deut 7-11).
Happy birthday shout-out to Shelli! 

 

Do you recall the 1997 best-seller, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff?

(Did you or anyone you know ever read it?)

It was more than a best seller - it spent two years on the best seller lists and was translated into 30 languages, and launched an entire brand for author Richard Carlson: 

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Men
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teachers

And on and on.... It's amazing how many ways you can rewrite a book! It reminds me of the quip by the late Rav/Dr Avraham Twerski - "I wrote one book 75 times."

I searched but could not find Carlson's books on recommended-reading lists by psychotherapists.

Perhaps because the title says it all — it's easy to get caught up in a worry or anxiety about something that either is not really consequential or that you can't do anything about.

But I wonder how many people reading this know the full title of his original book?

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, and It's All Small Stuff

Question for your table - do you agree that "it's all small stuff??"

And there is an even more interesting question that comes to mind, from a perspective of Jewish wisdom, which inspired this week's title.

OK, let's say I conquer anxiety, worry and anger, and I stop sweating the small stuff. 

The thing is, the small stuff is still there in my life, whether or not I'm sweating it.

The question is - would it be possible to do better than "not sweating the small stuff" - but to actually sweeten the small stuff? What do you think?

 

Shabbat Shalom

PS - If you want to learn a great secret to sweetening the small stuff, click on the image above. 

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Et Tu B'Av?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

August 8-9, 2025 • 15 Av 5785 • V'eschanan (Deut 3-7).

Tonight is the full moon of our 5th lunar month, the month of Av.

This event is called Tu B’Av.

The moon symbolizes the Jewish People - the "small light" reflecting the "great light" (Bereishis/Gen 1:16).

The moon symbolizes Jewish history - waxing and waning. And even when it looks like we're gone, we always come back. 

It's the pinnacle of the month of the lion, which is Yehudah (Judah) which is the origin of the word "Jew" — the tribe that symbolizes leadership achieved through gratitude and honesty.

(As opposed to leadership achieved through power or money.)

If you happen to be near a beach, you can experience a reminder of that power by seeing a high tide tonight and a low tide tomorrow mid-day.

The moon symbolizes the Jewish woman, who maintains her steady power whether or not she exerts it visibly. 

Fun fact: the highest high tide and lowest low tide are specifically when the moon is invisible. 

The Midrash says that the sun and the moon were once the same size, but then the moon shrank. And that one day the moon will be restored to its original size. 

These are symbolic statements and must be interpreted.

Question for your table: Based on the above moon symbolisms, what's your interpretation?

Shabbat Shalom

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Can Your Backyard Be Holy?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

August 1-2, 2025 • 8 Av 5785 • Devarim (Deut 1-3).

Last week, when you saw the new teachers website, you were probably thinking, "What's he going to come up with next?"

Yes, this week there is again something new under the sun of Jewish education and engagement!

Our newest program is a response to the following pain-points:

“My child wants a bar/bat mitzvah but the Temple requires a year’s membership and frankly we’re not so interested.”
“We want a meaningful experience that isn’t just a ritual and a party.”
“How can I give my child a connection to Judaism when we’re so far from any Jewish community?”
“My child has learning differences — are there any non-traditional options?”

First question for your table: Do any of those sound familiar? Have you ever heard anyone say any of these things? Do you know anyone who might be feeling that way?

(If so, please send them this email!)

The new Backyard Bar Mitzvah program is a not-for-profit service of yours, truly and JSLI.

It's so new that we haven't even linked to it on our home page yet (but the Rosh Hashanah countdown timer is ticking away there...)

Now, this week's title was inspired by a question one of my volunteer proofreaders asked:

My only concern is how this concept will go over with religious Jews. Will they see this as a “dilution” of a significant Jewish rite of passage?

Second question for your table: What do you think? Is the Backyard Bar Mitzvah concept a dilution of a significant Jewish rite of passage?


Shabbat Shalom

(For those fasting on the 9th of Av - Saturday night through Sunday - wishing you an easy fast.)


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Is It That Time Of Year Again?

 

 

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

July 25-26, 2025 • 1 Av 5785 • Matos-Masai (Num 30-36).
In memory of Dovid ben Eliezer.

Thank you for all the positive feedback on the new teachers website.

This week, for the twentieth time in late July or early August, I have to speak about my late father zl in the past tense.

Anyone who ever lost a loved one knows the feeling. During shiva you're still talking about them in the present tense. It takes weeks or months to get used to using the past tense.

His death twenty years ago this week (on the Jewish calendar) was so sudden, violent, and young (65) that the Pierce County newspaper editors were moved to write a rare editorial-obituary.

Headline: We've Lost One of the Good Guys

I think that my mother summed him up best when she asked that his epitaph read, "Champion of Justice".

In that spirit, when we made a donation to our shul in his memory, we asked for the plaque to read, "One who chased tzedakah, loved Jews, and honored all creatures."



It seems to me that an epitaph is like a eulogy — it should at the end of the day inspire the rest of us to a higher sense of being and purpose.

Question for your table: What would you want your epitaph to say in order to inspire others about your life?


Shabbat Shalom


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Raise the Bar For Our Children?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

July 18-19, 2025 • 23 Tamuz 5785 • Pinchas (Num 25-31).

Whether you are a parent or grandparent, or an aunt or uncle, or neighbor: you surely have children in your social network whom you care about.

The question is - have these children ever had a less-than-stellar teacher in any classroom?

I wish that this were a sincere question and not a rhetorical one. 

In my opinion, having an untrained teacher in any classroom is usually a bit of a tragedy. 

Finding great teachers is the dream of every principal. But it ain't easy. Sometimes they have to settle, and hope for the best. That's why we launched JTI 8 years ago.

But this week the game has changed, and I need your help, dear reader, to get the word out.

Our Jewish Teachers Institute (JTI) project has until now serviced only the Baltimore community. But as of this week - any school in the world can stream our workshops!

Please check out https://trainings.jsli.org 

I have two requests:

1. Spend 4.5 minutes perusing the site.

2. If you like what you see, share it with anyone you know involved with education.

Including: teachers (including college professors), principals, parents and grandparents of school-age children...

Most of our workshops are universal - even a public school teacher would benefit.

I have personally spent many hours over the past month trying to get this website right. I would very much appreciate your critical feedback if you see anything that can be improved! 

Many thanks to the generous supporters of JSLI whose partnership has made this new level of teacher training possible. 

Let's end as usual with a question for your table... One of the workshops on the new site is called PIVOT: Teach Any Subject Effectively - it's an acronym for 5 key practices of master teachers. Can you guess what each letter stands for? 

Shabbat Shalom


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Boerne Again?

Apropos the Kit, try asking these two questions at your Shabbat table:

 

 

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

July 11-12, 2025 • 16 Tamuz 5785 • Balak (Num 22-25).
 

 

Here's a question to start your Shabbat table conversation: Have you ever heard of Boerne, Texas?

"Sure, it's about a half-mosey from Fair Oaks Ranch, and a mosey-and-a-half from Comfort."

Related question: How do you pronounce Boerne?

("Burn-ee".)

The town has a website, a news site, plenty of green, wonderful things to see and do, and.... can you guess what else...?

Yessir, yes ma'am, a Chabad House.

Apparently Rabbi and Rebbetzin Marrus are doing tremendous acts of chesed to help victims of this flooding tragedy — everything from cash and food to chainsaws and refrigerators. Not to mention priceless emotional support.

(If you want to participate in the mitzvah, click here.)

Question for your table... Helping victims of a distant disaster is an unmistakable chesed (act of lovingkindness). But would you call it a duty?

Shabbat Shalom


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Do You NEED a Miracle, or Do You WANT a Miracle...?

Apropos the Kit, try asking these two questions at your Shabbat table:

 

 

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

July 4-5, 2025 • 9 Tamuz 5785 • Chukath (Num 19-22).

There are two types of people in the world.

One kind of person, like my Bubby of recent fame, who saw miracles in the small things. Everyday miracles.

(BTW, this book image is clickable - highly recommended!)

The other type of person sees the same everyday events and says, They are not miracles, they're "nature" or "random". 

First question for your table: Which kind are you?

For thousands of years through our many persecutions, we have been reading promises in our books of Prophets that the day will come when we see will see extraordinary events that even the latter kind of person would have to admit are miraculous.

Unless your head is in the sand, you are surely aware that we have arrived to the foretold time.

These stories don't make your Google or Yahoo news feed. But they are being told. Mili

Question for your table... Which kind of person are you?

Shabbat Shalom (and Happy 4th!)



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Gotta Love People...?

Apropos the Kit, try asking these two questions at your Shabbat table:

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

June 27-28, 2025 • 2 Tamuz 5785 • Korach (Num 16-18).
In memory of my grandmother, Yehudis bas Alexander, on her 19th yahrzeit.

My grandmother, Bubby, loved people.

Due to this trait, taking her on an errand was never a speedy activity.

Unlike many of her peers, into her 90s she wasn't mobility challenged; she never used a cane etc. Even after she gave up driving because she realized that her reflexes had dulled, she continued to walk everywhere and enjoyed every step.

But what slowed her down was that she seemed to be able to find an excuse to talk to everyone she met. It could be a stranger walking a dog or merely wearing a hat - anything slightly unusual would be an excuse to start a conversation. And if the person had absolutely no unusual garment or pet, she would break the ice with something like, "Are you enjoying the fabulous weather?"

Those were the quick conversations. The longer ones were in the stores. She couldn't buy a box of toothpicks without getting the salesperson's life story and without explaining why she needed that box of toothpicks on that particular day.

But I cannot recall anyone ever responding to her in anything other than the most warm and lovely way. The reasons is obvious - her questions were genuine - she truly was interested in everyone and spoke from her heart.

Question for your table... In Proverbs (27:19), King Solomon says, "As water reflects one's face, so does the heart of person to another." - Do you think that's true?

 I
Shabbat Shalom



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Who's the We?

Apropos the Kit, try asking these two questions at your Shabbat table:

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

June 20-21, 2025 • 25 Sivan 5785 • Shelach (Num 13-15).

 

The happiest Jews I know right now are those who spend the least time online.

It's obviously heartening to read pro-Israel comments.

The anti-Israel comments are to be expected, nothing new here. But the pro-Israel comments from around the world are a big boost.

Including President Trump's.

Here's a question for your table: 

When Mr. Trump said, "We have complete control of Iranian airspace" — what did he mean?

Presumably, he was talking like a Yankees fan watching his team trouncing the Dodgers in the top of the Ninth.

"We've got this one in the bag..."

Mr. Trump is a big fan of Israel. He's rooting for the Jews.

Just pause for one minute and think about this one fact: regardless of your personal opinion of Mr. Trump, regardless of your opinion about his policies or his style or anything else - how does it feel to know that the President of the USA is rooting for your people?

It feels almost like a Biblical moment:

- When we left Egypt in 1300 BCE, why did there need to be 10 Plagues? Couldn't God have taken us out without all that? The answer is: God wanted the King (Pharaoh) to green-light our freedom.

- When we left Persia ca. 380 BCE, King Cyrus not only green-lighted the return to Israel, he underwrote it and the rebuilding of Jerusalem.

But these facts give us a theological question for the table:

Why would God set it up this way? Putting aside realpolitik, in the big scheme of things, why should it matter whether or not the most powerful person in the world supports our sovereignty?


May we share good news.

Shabbat Shalom

PS - Want to know a trick for having a truly peaceful Shabbat? Try going 25 hours - from 18 min before sunset tonight until 48 min after sunset tomorrow - without looking at a screen or listening to the radio. Guaranteed serenity. Added serenity if you light candles this evening before sunset - a simple act that connects you to Jewish people around the world and going back in time for thousands of years.



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When In Rome?

Apropos the Kit, try asking these two questions at your Shabbat table:

 

 

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

June 13-14, 2025 • 18 Sivan 5785 • Behalosecha (Num 8-12).
In memory of Sima bas Mordechai Yaakov and Eliezer ben Zelig.

 

This week was the yahrzeit of my paternal grandparents (Gigi and Poppy), pictured here.

In many ways they were great role models. They loved each other, they were very family- and community-oriented. And as far as I know they lived clean, ethical lives. And they loved life - they were happy people.

While they were very Jewishly active and oriented, they had their limits.

For instance, in my mid-twenties, when I took time out from my career in order to spend some time studying Judaism in a yeshivah, Gigi was unable to comprehend my motivation.

I recall her specifically asking me, "Don't you want to have nice things?"

Apparently, she assumed that I had chosen a life of poverty. Because unlike a grad student, my studies were not even ostensibly career-building.

Poppy was a bit different. He had gone to law school so could appreciate somewhat the value of study for its own sake. But what puzzled him more was why I would want to keep kosher. Although his own upbringing had been Orthodox, he had learned from his Reform rabbi that the entire idea of kosher was outdated. While he wasn't critical, he would chide me with a smile, "Haven't you heard of the expression, When in Rome...?"

To which I would reply, "Sure, but look at what has happened - the Romans are gone, and we're still around."

To which he would laugh.

Question for your table: When, if ever, does the expression, "When in Rome..." apply these days?  


Shabbat Shalom


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Basketball, Symphony, or Diamond?

Apropos the Kit, try asking these two questions at your Shabbat table:

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

June 6-7, 2025 • 11 Sivan 5785 • Naso (Num 4-7).

Last week's message was about Gentiles doing Judaism. This week is about how Jews "do" Judaism. 

Here's a real question from my inbox this week that I think represents a common view not only of Judaism but of "organized religion:"

I'm proud to be Jewish, I'm fascinated with our history and many of the traditions, I love our food, I love recognizing my traits in other Jews and vice versa. I want to dive in much deeper and finally 'live Jewish'. But. Religion feels forced to me, even the Jewish religion. Why do we need to follow rules to mourn a certain way? To eat a certain way? To sit through services that repeat the same messages, over and over again? It all feels unnatural to me.

Question for your table: how would you respond to this person? 

It seems to me that the main part of the message is the words, "I want to dive in much deeper, but..."

I'd like to share my response to this person, in case it may benefit anyone reading this, or someone you know...

Believe it or not, this desire for "deeper diving" is very familiar situation that many people have experienced lately! And it was foretold by our Prophets thousands of years ago that in the lead-up to the Messianic Age, many disconnected Jewish people (and even many who didn't even know they were Jewish) will appear "like grass sprouting from parched land."

You say your understanding of "religion" isn't meaningful to you. What about our weekly holiday? In my opinion an easy way to start getting a deeper connection would be to start by taking the simple action of lighting candles 18 minutes before sunset every Friday. This will connect you to millions of Jews around the world and your grandparents and great-grandparents going back thousands of years. You could try it this week and see if it feels forced or authentic! 

Beyond that, here's a suggested reading list that I think you will find very informative:

Judaism: A Historical Presentation
My Friends We Were Robbed!
The Art of Amazement
Living Inspired
The Everything Torah Book

Putting aside ritual, Tribal membership is magnified and enriched by community, I would certainly encourage you to try finding a group of Jews whom you enjoy being with - whether it be for services or classes or social events.

Some of us believe that nothing occurs randomly - if this is your background and your story, it there's undoubtedly a reason for it! There is a traditional teaching that each one of us was sent to this world to fulfill a mission, and if you are Jewish, then your mission is possibly bound up with whatever that means. 

Bottom line, Judaism belongs to you as much as to any other Jew, regardless of how you were raised and regardless of what you choose to do with it! The above suggestions will surely help you along that path and you can go as far as you want to — as others have before you! Just take it slow and over time try to find a rabbi to guide you.

Hope that's encouraging and helpful.... enjoy the journey!


Second question for your table: I've heard Judaism compared to basketball (we're all playing the same game, but with different talents and styles), to music (we're all members of a symphony orchestra, each playing a different instrument), to a diamond (we're all facets of the same gem, but each person needs to self-polish for the gem to shine). Which of these analogies - or other - appeals to you the most?


Shabbat Shalom


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X-Mezuzah?

May 30-31, 2025 • 4 Sivan 5785 • BaMidbar (Num 1-4).

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Christians hanging mezuzahs on their front doors?

Apparently it's a thing.

Not to be confused with the solidarity mezuzah.

And Jewish people are divided. Here are some sample comments:

• I’m so infuriated.
• I'm not gonna lie, this kinda irritates me.
• Who cares?? As long as they support Jewish people, I do not care. Seriously baffled by the reactions here!
• Guys, do you not realize that it's too late for gatekeeping? Literally their entire religion is an appropriation of ours. I highly doubt it's going to be such a trend that all Christians follow so that you wouldn't be able to tell if it's a Jewish mezuzah or not. If we let ourselves get offended every time something like this happens, we won't have time or energy to do anything else. Pick your battles wisely.
• If I saw this at someone’s house, I’d leave.
• So many negative messages here. It does not bother me at all.
• According to the Gospels, Jesus’ teachings replaced the old laws of Torah. So why do Christians want to be like Jews? It makes no sense.
• A growing trend is to do stuff like this with an intention of showing solidarity. We’re free to take it as we want (I don’t agree with it), but at least they aren’t breaking out the torches and pitchforks to run us out of town.
• Don't care. As long as they're not using kosher mezuzah scrolls, let 'em have fun. Honestly, it's much better than hating every single thing about us and wanting us all dead.

First question for your table: What's your opinion? 

Second question: In your mind, is there any difference between the Christian mezuzah and the Messianic one?

(PS - Rabbi Tovia Singer has an opinion about this.)

Shabbat Shalom

and 

Chag Sameach!


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HARdball Questions?

Apropos the Kit, try asking these two questions at your Shabbat table:

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

May 23-24, 2025 • 27 Iyar 5785 • BeHar (Lev 25-end).

If you read this "Table Talk" blog regularly, you know that sometimes I pitch softballs and sometimes hardballs.

The weekly aim is provocative open-ended questions that hopefully anyone can have an opinion about, fostering dinner table conversation.

By “hardball,” I mean questions that have a higher chance of pushing emotional buttons.

Today, this week’s current events have prompted such questions. 

I’m referring to this DC tragedy, the wanton snuffing out of life of these two young Israelis.

Some have labeled the murder anti-Semitism. Anti-Semitism means of course, Jew-hatred.

First question for your table: But were they targeted for being Jewish or for being Israeli? And does it make a difference?

How about this…

It turns out that Yaron Lischinsky has a Jewish father and Christian mother who raised him Christian and he was a member of the FFOZ Bram Center for Messianic Jewish Learning in Jerusalem. Therefore, according to most definitions of "Jewish" (other than Jews for Jesus), he wasn’t an MOT.

Therefore (second question for your table): Does that fact change your assessment of whether or not the murder was anti-Semitic?

Third question – and this is the hardest one: Was this tragedy a wake-up call that it's time that we start to consider Messianic Jews to be part of the Jewish People? What do you think? And if not, was it a wake-up call in any way?

Another angle on the same topic: 

This week I had a conversation with someone who considers himself Jewish and whom others consider Jewish who calls himself an atheist. When I asked him to clarify if he meant atheist as opposed to agnostic, his response wasn’t crystal-clear, so it is possible that he was technically agnostic. But either way, he calls himself atheist and celebrates a few Jewish traditions like Pesach because he enjoys them. 

Now, is such a person any less Jewish than a Jew for Jesus who keeps all of the holidays, eats kosher etc.? What do you think?


Shabbat Shalom


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Are You Heart of Hearing?

Apropos the Kit, try asking these two questions at your Shabbat table:

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

May 16-17, 2025 • 20 Iyar 5785 • Emor (Lev 21-24).

Does this every happen to you — the same subject comes up repeatedly in one week from unrelated sources?

Like a recurring dream, but in real life?

Is it a sign that I should be focusing there?

This week my recurring-dream subject was hearing.

As in the physiological process of converting sound waves into information via the two marvelous instruments on the sides of our heads.

It came up in several unrelated conversations.

One was an email from a friend who wrote,

I believe blasting music at a wedding is anti-Torah, and unacceptable. King David showed us that dancing at a simchah should indeed be with all our hearts. But David did not give into the music (which could not have been very loud at all compared to today’s amplification) – he celebrated before Hashem and for His glory.

That's an interesting angle. I'm personally more concerned about the hearing damage caused by loud music which is real and permanent.

Another hearing-related conversation this week - Someone told me that a certain teacher used our "Ear" unit from our Ma Rabu!/Amazing Nature Curriculum, and that (predictably) her students were enthralled. (Here's the general-studies version.)

Today is Lag B'Omer, a holiday closely associated with music. It's also strongly associated with Torah and the most foundational foundation of Torah, Love Your Neighbor.

Question for your table: What's the connection between music and Love Your Neighbor?

Maybe you'll get some interesting answers from the table. Here's mine:

Great music in ensemble can only happen when the musicians are listening to each other. It doesn't matter how great the music is on paper - it could be the most exhilarating Beethoven symphony, but if the musicians are not listening to each other, it's going to sound terrible. 

That's exactly how Love Your Neighbor works. I can't treat you properly if I am not paying attention to you. I need to listen to you and really hear you. To listen with my heart and not only my head.


Happy Lag B'Omer and

Shabbat Shalom


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