Time Flies Like An Arrow...

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Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

October 24-25, 2025 • 3 Mar Cheshvan 5786 • Noach (Gen 6-11).

Happy news - Body & Soul is back in stock. Just in time to help you and your family get healthier in 5786 !

 

...Fruit flies like a banana.

Try that one at your table and see (a) if anyone gets it and (b) if anyone can guess who said it....??

(Groucho Marx)

In addition to killing it with the Dad Jokes, I myself was killing some drosophila (fruit flies) this week. 

I'm sure that you've done the same.

And I never bring fruit into the office. Certainly no bananas.

So what are they pestering me for? Apparently the coffee grounds in the garbage. Maybe it's time to take out the garbage.

But why not finesse an otherwise annoying experience into something more meaningful?

First of all, try asking at the table: Do you personally have any qualms killing a fruitfly?

We all know how hard they are to kill with their crazy zig-zag flight algorithm. But what else do you know about them?

They can detect odors from 30 feet away.
This olfactory prowess is attributed to their highly specialized antennae, which are rich in sensory receptors
They can taste with their feet.
Specialized chemoreceptors located on their legs allow them to detect sweet and bitter substances when they land on potential food sources
They have a unique brain structure for processing smells.
Their brains contain about 100,000 neurons, with distinct areas dedicated to processing smells. This structure allows fruit flies to quickly discern and respond to various odors, aiding in foraging and mating behaviors.
They share 75 percent of their genes with us and are used in 70 percent of genetic research studies.
For example, flies eating a lot of sugar also exhibit symptoms of type 2 diabetes. Researchers can also genetically modify fruit flies to study a variety of other conditions. Using fruit flies as test subjects, researcher Vicki Losick recently discovered that in wounds, cells enlarge by polyploidization—or the multiplication of chromosomes—to compensate for cells that are lost. This suggests that cellular damage caused by wounds either leads to cell proliferation or cell growth, depending on context, changing our understanding of how the body reacts to injury.
They are master beer tasters.
Fruit flies are masters of discernment when it comes to the yeasty flavors of beer. An experiment at Stanford found that fruit flies were attracted to beers with fruitier base yeasts, which tend to be the beers humans prefer as well

So kill them if you must, but maybe pause for a moment to appreciate the little drosophila? What do you think?


Shabbat Shalom

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We Knew, and Lost, a Giant

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

October 17-18, 2025 • 26 Tishrei 5786 • Bereishis (Gen 1-6).

The joy of Simchat Torah on Wednesday turned to sadness Wednesday night when word spread of the sudden passing of Rav Moshe Hauer ztzl, aged 60.

He died on Monday night during the Festival and his righteous wife/widow gave strict orders that it be kept a secret in order not to diminish the community's celebration.

A Baltimore funeral was hastily organized for Thursday morning in order to enable burial in Israel before Shabbat. 

Whatever I have to share will pale in comparison to what his regular congregants and students will say. His shul was a mere 10 minute walk from our home and had many opportunities to hear him speak with great depth and always with subtle humor.

What I would like to share today is a small but significant personal interaction - a 1-on-1 meeting in his office nine years ago.

I was deep in the R&D phase of the Torah Health and Wellness project.

I requested the meeting in order to ask two things:

1. Would the Rav allow me to list him in the "Current Leadership" chapter as someone who tries to eat healthily and exercise?

2. Does he have any suggestions or guidance to help the project achieve its goals?

To the first answer, he responded - without hesitation - Yes. He immediately understood the need for leaders like himself to publicly model this mitzvah in which so many are struggling (or not even trying). 

You'll find his listing on p. 341 of Body & Soul.

(There you might notice that during the seven years between our meeting and going to press, Rav Hauer left the synagogue position in order to take the helm of the global OU organization.)

To the second answer, he gave me a number of important suggestions, not the least of which was to connect with someone named Daniel Grove, MD.

In case you don't recognize that name, he's my co-author.

The fact that I was neither a member of his shul nor a regular attendee of his classes underscores the kind of person Rav Hauer was. He was there for literally anyone who asked for help.

(Here is one eulogy that is just the tip of a very large iceberg.)

He apparently took the hostage crisis very, very deeply and personally, and many have wondered if their release on Monday had anything to do with the Rav's petira on Monday night.

(If you click on his image above, you'll see a 3-minute video that illustrates how he felt about the suffering of people he had never met.)

Rav Hauer stood physically, intellectually, and morally taller than most; the Jewish People have lost a giant.

May his family be comforted.


Shabbat Shalom

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This post may also be read on Times of Israel.

Is Your Iron Still Hot?

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Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

September 26-27, 2025 • 5 Tishrei 5786 • Vayeitzei (Deut 31).

Happy New Year!

Wait, aren't we past New Year? Aren't the High Holidays in the rearview mirror?

If you think about it, everything we do on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is pure lip service.

Literally.

And there's nothing wrong with lip service. But actions speak louder than words, to coin a phrase.

What are you going to do TODAY to put your proverbial money where your mouth is?

Ready to do one extra mitzvah, to show God (or at least yourself) that RH and YK actually meant something to you and wasn't merely lip service?

There are so many mitzvot to choose from.

Doing one extra one today would be BRONZE.

Doing an extra one a day for a month would be SILVER.

Committing to an extra one a day (or a month) for a year would be GOLD.

Please watch my new video and then decide: BRONZE, SILVER, or GOLD? 

Today's the day to make it REAL. Don't wait. Strike while the iron is HOT!

Shabbat Shalom

and Happy Sukkot!


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Liquid Mind?

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Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

September 26-27, 2025 • 5 Tishrei 5786 • Vayeitzei (Deut 31).
We've added a new timer ... counting down to Sukkot.

Happy New Year!

As a follow-up to last week's "Jelly Beans" message, here's a starter-question for your table:

Have you ever had an inspired idea like his? Would you like to?

I would personally like to ask him what inspired him to make that great film.

The history of inspiration and invention is a fun topic, with such colorful stories and characters like Archimedes and Buckminster Fuller.

What do such creative people have in common? And how are inventors similar to or different from innovators in science, art, music, or other fields?

Yesterday, I happened to hear a brief story on the radio that may begin to answer this question.

It was about a woman named Bette Graham.

Have you heard of her?

(Probably not, which is too bad, because her story should be told to every child and in every business school.)

In the 1950s she found herself a single mom without income. She had studied art but couldn't make a living in art, so took a job as a secretary. 

The problem was that she had learned to type on manual typewriters, and her employer had upgraded to the new electric typewriters. Bette found herself making many errors and was at real risk of losing her job.

The artist in her said that there must be a way to hide her mistakes, with just the right kind of paint. 

After many hours of trial-and-error in her kitchen, she settled on a pigment that she could apply to her typos with a tiny paint brush. Her boss never noticed!

But you know who did notice?

The other secretaries. They all wanted some of Bette's paint. So she bought some tiny makeup bottles with little brushes and started selling her "liquid paper" to her friends. 

You can guess where this is going. It did take some time and it was a slow expansion, from her kitchen, to a shed in her back yard, and as business grew, eventually to a factory and then a second factory in Canada and a third one in Europe. 

"I never set out to make a million dollars nor even to invent anything, I just wanted to keep my job!"

Question for your table: What's your take-away lesson from Betty Graham?

Here's one to consider:

When you set your resolutions for 5786, don't merely speak in generalities. It's great that you want to be a more punctual person. It's great that you want to commit to being on time for every meeting for 30 days. But I would encourage you to add to that a reason why it matters. Such as: "I'm going to try to be on time to every meeting for 30 days so that the people I'm meeting feel more respected."

Having a clear why makes it 9x easier to reach your goals.

Shabbat Shalom


PS - The premiere mitzvah is giving tzedakah, and the premiere tzedakah is in support of Jewish education. At this time of year, it is customary to increase our mitzvahs. If you enjoy this email weekly or even once in a while, please consider showing your appreciation with a tax-deductible donation. There are many ways to give, including recurring credit card donations... please visit https://jsli.org/donate. 


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How Many Jelly Beans?

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Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

September 19-20, 2025 • 27 Elul 5785 • Netzavim (Deut 29-30).
You probably don't need it at this point, but our countdown timer to Rosh Hashanah is still ticking.

 

Ze Frank is a master short-take filmmaker.

One of my favorites is his "The Time You Have (In JellyBeans)". 

Picture a large black floor space. A pair of hands pours an enormous quantity of jellybeans.

The narrator explains, "These are roughly twenty-eight thousand eight hundred jelly beans.... In this pile there is one jelly bean for each day that the average American will live."

He could have stopped the video right there and that idea and visual alone would have been enough to make us think. 

But he continues...

He removes 5,475 jellybeans representing your first 15 years of life.

He then removes 8,477 jellybeans (days) for the total the average person sleeps over a lifetime.

He then removes 1,635 for the amount of days we will spend in food preparation and consumption.

He then removes 3,202 jellybeans for the average amount of time spent "at work."

He then removes 1,099 for the amount of time the average person spends commuting.

He then removes 2,676 for the average amount of days a person spends watching TV (or the equivalent).

Subtract another 1,576 for shopping and household chores.

Subtract 564 jellybeans (days) for time spent caring for others' needs.

Subtract 671 days for personal grooming.

Subtract 720 days for "religious and civic duties." 

After removing all of those jellybeans, there is a small pile: "This is the time we have left.... time for laughing, swimming, making art, going on hikes, text messages, reading, checking Facebook, playing softball, maybe even teaching yourself to play the guitar... So what are YOU going to do with the time you have left? How much do you think you've already used up?"

"What if you only had one day left? What would you do?"

The visual effect of that one remaining jellybean is a homerun.

Question for your table: What if you only had one jellybean left? What are you going to do today?

On that note, to help you turn this blog into a meaningful RH and YK, click on the above image, or email me for the 5786 Edition of "40 Meditations for the High Holidays", or both.


Shabbat Shalom

And L'Shanah Tovah - wishing you and yours a sweet, healthy, happy, holy and wise 5786


PS - At this time of year, it is customary to increase our tzedakah. If you enjoy this email weekly or even once in a while, please consider showing your appreciation with a tax-deductible donation. There are many ways to give, including recurring credit card donations... please visit https://jsli.org/donate. 


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What's Your Biggest Worry?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

September 12-13, 2025 • 20 Elul 5785 • Ki Savo (Deut 26-29).
Our countdown timer to Rosh Hashanah is here.

How are you doing at saying "yes"? (last week's topic)

Can you recall the Hebrew expression from last week?

(Being mevater.)

Did it occur to you that a political assassination is the diametric opposite of being mevater? 

Try listing the 3 most pressing issues facing yourself, your family, your city, your country, the world:

1. __________________ 2. __________________ 3. __________________ 

Now, try that again, but predict what our great-grandchildren — looking backward to today — will consider to be the 3 most pressing issues that we should have been worrying about:

1. __________________ 2. __________________ 3. __________________ 

Does your list include "people not being mevater"?

I predict that our great-grandchildren (or perhaps great-great-grandchildren) will want to know whether or not we:

1. Were honest in every transaction.
2. Gave ten percent of our income to worthy tzedakahs, with Jewish education high on the list.
3. Pursued wisdom and critical thinking

And they will want to know — or should want to know — did you and I cultivate being mevater?

And if not, why not?

And if not now, when?

Shabbat Shalom

PS - We've put a link to get this year's "40 Meditations for the High Holidays" on TorahHealth.org.


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Just Say Yes?

 

 

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

September 5-6, 2025 • 13 Elul 5785 • Ki Seitsei (Deut 21-25).
 

 

Picking up from last week's topic of negotiating and giving in...

Here's an analogy based on something that happened just yesterday.

Decided to try out a new cafe.

Put into Waze "coffee" and it comes up with Such-and-Such Coffee Roasters. I like the sound of that. "Roasted coffee" sounds much more appealing than just "coffee," no?

Waze delivers. It really is a coffee roaster - it's in an industrial building alongside a brewery and distillery. Each has a tasting room.

No food, no fancy, just coffee! Hardly even any seating, most of the room is filled with shelves of giant burlap coffee sacks, some full, many waiting to be filled.

This is going to be good - the real deal!

When I step up to the counter, a slightly-annoyed-looking young man with very long hair appears. 

- May I please have a cup of coffee?
- What size?
- What are my options?
- Small, medium, and large.
- Hmm... so many choices!
- How about we go for medium - not too large, not too small?
- Fine.

He doesn't offer cream or milk of any sort, just black coffee. My kind of place, ever since I quit adding sugar 4 years ago.

Even better: he hands me my black coffee in a corrogated cup emblazoned with just one word, "COMPOSTABLE".

Nice. Love the inattention to branding. Love the simplicity.

I take it outside to one of the tiny tables - it's a lovely day, with a lovely green view. 

Smells good. This is definitely going to be good - the real deal!

Here's the catch: the coffee tastes terrible. 

(OK, so maybe that wasn't so nice to say. I suppose I could say that it tasted terrible to me or it wasn't to my taste.)

Surely somebody loves that brand of coffee!

I'm not saying it was bad because it was bitter... All black coffee is bitter. But there's bitter bitter and there's better bitter.

But how terrible was it? Undrinkable? No, I could drink it. I didn't savor it, that's for sure. I didn't even finish the cup. Its taste didn't ruin the rest of the experience, and certainly didn't ruin my day, and if I weren't writing this email, I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought.

The point of last week's email was the spiritual concept of being mevater - of not standing on your rights all the time, of giving in whenever possible, of seeking the path of happiness rather than righteousness. It's so hard to do, because everyone wants to be right, right?

It's a great word to add to your daily vocabulary: "I'll just be mevater." Or: "Thank you for being mevater." 

Being mevater requires tremendous inner strength and self control. Imagine someone you love serves you something that you don't like... could you eat it with a smile and appreciate everything else about the experience other than the taste? If so, you're on the path to greatness. 

Shabbat Shalom

PS - We've put a link to get this year's "40 Meditations for the High Holidays" on TorahHealth.org.
PPS - Yes, the pic is clickable as always...


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Would You Rather Be Right Or Happy?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

August 29-30 2025 • 6 Elul 5785 • Shoftim (Deut 16-21).

 

Let's start our Shabbat table talk with an open question for everyone:

Have you ever been 100 percent sure you were right about something, but nevertheless gave in to the other person?

I'm not talking about when you say grumpily, "Fine! Have it your way!"

I'm talking about when you say with a smile, "You know, I see your point; OK."

Or at the very least, you say, "You know, you may be right."

Remember, I'm talking about when you are 100 1,000 percent sure you're right! Not even the tiniest sliver of a doubt.

Do you know where the word negotiate comes from? 

It's Latin for "saying no." Think about that for a minute.

Simple negotiating is just saying no until you get the deal you want.

Great negotiating is finding creative ways to say no without the other party feeling like you're saying no.

If you want to learn the basics of great negotiating, you might want to click on the above image.

But not every disagreement calls for negotiating, right?

Question for your table: Which of the following scenarios might giving in with a smile be the best choice?

a. To save your life.
b. To end a pointless argument.
c. To create shalom in the home.
d. To build your image as a flexible person.
e. To exercise your "self-control" muscle.
f. All of the above.
g. None of the above.
 

Shabbat Shalom

PS - We've put a link to get this year's "40 Meditations for the High Holidays" on TorahHealth.org.

Vintage Wein

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

August 23-24 2025 • 29 Av 5785 • Re'ay (Deut 11-16).

Vintage Wein

The Jewish World has lost one of our heroes.

Rav Berel Wein died last Shabbat. 

You can read many eulogies about his remarkable life and impact on Jewish education.

I was lucky to have had two private conversations with him.

The first was in the late 1990s in Jerusalem when I escorted him to a lecture he gave to a visiting Federation Mission.

Although it was an evening program at the end of a long day, he showed no signs of fatigue and every sign of enthusiasm to connect with Jewish people.

I asked him if he agreed with the premise that intra-Jewish conflict was a greater threat to us than our external enemies. 

He said, "Absolutely, it's obvious, that's what Chazal (Talmudic Rabbis) say, that's what Josephus says, that's what we see when we study Jewish history."

And that is why Rav Wein's primary focus was teaching Jewish history. He would often say, "If you don't know where you come from, then you don't know where you are. And if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you're going... it's the key to faith and belief."

And therefore, he said, studying and teaching history is the key to solving this endless intra-Jewish conflict that has been our greatest enemy for thousands of years.

If you'd like to raise the bar for your own understanding of Jewish history, you could begin with one of his wonderful books.

Or one of his creative videos.

Or one of his lectures.

Or click on the pic above to see what's happening at his Jewish Destiny Foundation.

My second conversation with him was six years ago while developing Torah Health & Wellness. I asked him if he personally focused on this mitzvah, and how. He was very matter-of-fact: "Of course – you need to be healthy in order to achieve your purpose in this world." He said that he ate in moderation and exercised several times a week with a personal trainer (this was at age 85).

Question for your Shabbat table - Do you 👍🏼 or 👎🏼 with his view of the urgency of studying Jewish history? 

(And if you agree, what are you going to do about it?)

Shabbat Shalom


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Sweet the Small Stuff?

 

 

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

August 16-17, 2025 • 22 Av 5785 • Eikev (Deut 7-11).
Happy birthday shout-out to Shelli! 

 

Do you recall the 1997 best-seller, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff?

(Did you or anyone you know ever read it?)

It was more than a best seller - it spent two years on the best seller lists and was translated into 30 languages, and launched an entire brand for author Richard Carlson: 

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Men
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teachers

And on and on.... It's amazing how many ways you can rewrite a book! It reminds me of the quip by the late Rav/Dr Avraham Twerski - "I wrote one book 75 times."

I searched but could not find Carlson's books on recommended-reading lists by psychotherapists.

Perhaps because the title says it all — it's easy to get caught up in a worry or anxiety about something that either is not really consequential or that you can't do anything about.

But I wonder how many people reading this know the full title of his original book?

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, and It's All Small Stuff

Question for your table - do you agree that "it's all small stuff??"

And there is an even more interesting question that comes to mind, from a perspective of Jewish wisdom, which inspired this week's title.

OK, let's say I conquer anxiety, worry and anger, and I stop sweating the small stuff. 

The thing is, the small stuff is still there in my life, whether or not I'm sweating it.

The question is - would it be possible to do better than "not sweating the small stuff" - but to actually sweeten the small stuff? What do you think?

 

Shabbat Shalom

PS - If you want to learn a great secret to sweetening the small stuff, click on the image above. 

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Et Tu B'Av?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

August 8-9, 2025 • 15 Av 5785 • V'eschanan (Deut 3-7).

Tonight is the full moon of our 5th lunar month, the month of Av.

This event is called Tu B’Av.

The moon symbolizes the Jewish People - the "small light" reflecting the "great light" (Bereishis/Gen 1:16).

The moon symbolizes Jewish history - waxing and waning. And even when it looks like we're gone, we always come back. 

It's the pinnacle of the month of the lion, which is Yehudah (Judah) which is the origin of the word "Jew" — the tribe that symbolizes leadership achieved through gratitude and honesty.

(As opposed to leadership achieved through power or money.)

If you happen to be near a beach, you can experience a reminder of that power by seeing a high tide tonight and a low tide tomorrow mid-day.

The moon symbolizes the Jewish woman, who maintains her steady power whether or not she exerts it visibly. 

Fun fact: the highest high tide and lowest low tide are specifically when the moon is invisible. 

The Midrash says that the sun and the moon were once the same size, but then the moon shrank. And that one day the moon will be restored to its original size. 

These are symbolic statements and must be interpreted.

Question for your table: Based on the above moon symbolisms, what's your interpretation?

Shabbat Shalom

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Can Your Backyard Be Holy?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

August 1-2, 2025 • 8 Av 5785 • Devarim (Deut 1-3).

Last week, when you saw the new teachers website, you were probably thinking, "What's he going to come up with next?"

Yes, this week there is again something new under the sun of Jewish education and engagement!

Our newest program is a response to the following pain-points:

“My child wants a bar/bat mitzvah but the Temple requires a year’s membership and frankly we’re not so interested.”
“We want a meaningful experience that isn’t just a ritual and a party.”
“How can I give my child a connection to Judaism when we’re so far from any Jewish community?”
“My child has learning differences — are there any non-traditional options?”

First question for your table: Do any of those sound familiar? Have you ever heard anyone say any of these things? Do you know anyone who might be feeling that way?

(If so, please send them this email!)

The new Backyard Bar Mitzvah program is a not-for-profit service of yours, truly and JSLI.

It's so new that we haven't even linked to it on our home page yet (but the Rosh Hashanah countdown timer is ticking away there...)

Now, this week's title was inspired by a question one of my volunteer proofreaders asked:

My only concern is how this concept will go over with religious Jews. Will they see this as a “dilution” of a significant Jewish rite of passage?

Second question for your table: What do you think? Is the Backyard Bar Mitzvah concept a dilution of a significant Jewish rite of passage?


Shabbat Shalom

(For those fasting on the 9th of Av - Saturday night through Sunday - wishing you an easy fast.)


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Is It That Time Of Year Again?

 

 

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

July 25-26, 2025 • 1 Av 5785 • Matos-Masai (Num 30-36).
In memory of Dovid ben Eliezer.

Thank you for all the positive feedback on the new teachers website.

This week, for the twentieth time in late July or early August, I have to speak about my late father zl in the past tense.

Anyone who ever lost a loved one knows the feeling. During shiva you're still talking about them in the present tense. It takes weeks or months to get used to using the past tense.

His death twenty years ago this week (on the Jewish calendar) was so sudden, violent, and young (65) that the Pierce County newspaper editors were moved to write a rare editorial-obituary.

Headline: We've Lost One of the Good Guys

I think that my mother summed him up best when she asked that his epitaph read, "Champion of Justice".

In that spirit, when we made a donation to our shul in his memory, we asked for the plaque to read, "One who chased tzedakah, loved Jews, and honored all creatures."



It seems to me that an epitaph is like a eulogy — it should at the end of the day inspire the rest of us to a higher sense of being and purpose.

Question for your table: What would you want your epitaph to say in order to inspire others about your life?


Shabbat Shalom


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Raise the Bar For Our Children?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

July 18-19, 2025 • 23 Tamuz 5785 • Pinchas (Num 25-31).

Whether you are a parent or grandparent, or an aunt or uncle, or neighbor: you surely have children in your social network whom you care about.

The question is - have these children ever had a less-than-stellar teacher in any classroom?

I wish that this were a sincere question and not a rhetorical one. 

In my opinion, having an untrained teacher in any classroom is usually a bit of a tragedy. 

Finding great teachers is the dream of every principal. But it ain't easy. Sometimes they have to settle, and hope for the best. That's why we launched JTI 8 years ago.

But this week the game has changed, and I need your help, dear reader, to get the word out.

Our Jewish Teachers Institute (JTI) project has until now serviced only the Baltimore community. But as of this week - any school in the world can stream our workshops!

Please check out https://trainings.jsli.org 

I have two requests:

1. Spend 4.5 minutes perusing the site.

2. If you like what you see, share it with anyone you know involved with education.

Including: teachers (including college professors), principals, parents and grandparents of school-age children...

Most of our workshops are universal - even a public school teacher would benefit.

I have personally spent many hours over the past month trying to get this website right. I would very much appreciate your critical feedback if you see anything that can be improved! 

Many thanks to the generous supporters of JSLI whose partnership has made this new level of teacher training possible. 

Let's end as usual with a question for your table... One of the workshops on the new site is called PIVOT: Teach Any Subject Effectively - it's an acronym for 5 key practices of master teachers. Can you guess what each letter stands for? 

Shabbat Shalom


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