Should I Care Who Wins?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Nov 9-10, 2024 • 8 Mar Cheshvan 5785 • Lech-lecha (Gen 12-17).

People like to say that competition is good because it pushes people to excel.

The thing about competition is that it creates losers.

Not only that, but there are usually more losers than winners. That's a lot of hard feelings. Is it worth it? 

I cannot recall specifically being aware of "strongman competitions". 

I'm sure that I've heard about them... but it's one of those things that I don't generally pay attention to.

You could try asking this at your table - Can you name one such competition or one champion?

There are many, including: World's Strongest Man, Arnold Strongman Classic, Europe's Strongest Man, Strongman Champions League, World's Ultimate Strongman, World's Strongest Viking, World Muscle Power Classic, Fortissimus, Pure Strength, Rogue Invitational, Shaw Classic, Giants Live, IFSA World Championships, Strongman Super Series and World Strongman Challenge

I'm sure it's entertaining to watch men lifting cars and bending steel bars but it's frankly not something I've ever tuned in. 

But for some reason the death this week of Britain's most famous strongman captured my imagination. This is a guy who at his peak could literally tear phone books in half and bend steel bars.

But what caught my attention was the following detail in his biography:

He supported himself and his young family by working as a police officer. One afternoon, he was sent to arrest a man for not paying a fine. He knocked on his door. When the man opened it, Capes saw dozens of budgerigars — a type of parakeet — chirping about in cages.

“Could I have a look at your birds?” Capes said.

They brought back memories of his childhood, when he tended to injured birds and animals. The man invited him inside and served him a cup of tea. They had a lovely chat about the tiny, chatty budgies. Capes even held some of them in his giant hands.

Alas, after an hour, Capes reminded the man that he was there to arrest him.

“He came quietly and afterwards we kept in touch,” Capes told The Sunday People, a London newspaper, in 1998. “Two weeks later he gave me my first ever pair of breeding budgies.”

Capes began breeding them with the same enthusiasm with which he trained for strongman competitions. He competed in budgerigar shows throughout Europe, winning a world championship in 1995. He was named president of the Budgerigar Society in 2008 and frequently judged competitions.

“There’s something about their color and beauty that fascinates me,” Capes told The Sunday People. “They bring out my gentler side.”

I love that he didn't merely experience the beautiful birds in the zoo like most of us might do.

As in his first career as a strongman, he took his God-given talents and pushed himself towards his potential. He channelled all of that amazing physical power into his art, which was an interaction with the profound beauty of nature, and in so doing, left the world a better place than he found it.

Two questions for your table: Do you think that his success has anything to do with the fact that he grew up in a time before the advent of so many modern distractions and addictions? And as asked above, is competition worth it, given that it creates losers?


Shabbat Shalom 

PS - This week's Table Talk also appears online at http://rabbiseinfeld.blogspot.com.

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

Who Was That Unmasked Man?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Nov 1-2, 2024 • 1 Mar Cheshvan 5785 • Noach (Gen 6-11).
In memory of Jeremy Dossetter (Yermiyahu Matan) z''l, whose 7th yahrzeit was observed this week.

I recently had the opportunity to spend six hours in the City Department of Planning.

The first five hours were merely waiting for our turn at the Zoning Commission meeting.

What a blessing to have a laptop (and plenty to do with it)!

During one of my writing breaks, I wandered around the lobby there on the 5th floor and happened upon a pile of stapled copies, obviously left for the public to read and/or take. The cover sheet:

MEMORIES OF A 50-YEAR CAREER
Frank J. Murphy's Journey Through the Transportation Profession
From 1974 to 2024

It is a monumental record that can only be fully appreciated if you are holding it in your hands. It would be very difficult for a mere mortal like me to fairly represent the contents of this hundred-page autobiography. Mr. Murphy has been blessed with either a photographic memory or the self-discipline to keep a meticulous journal for fifty years.

But here are a few impressions:

• There may not be a single road, crosswalk, traffic light, or stop sign in the City of Baltimore that doesn't have Frank J. Murphy's fingerprints on it.

• There is no bravado - merely a happy account of his journey both horizontally and vertically through a civil engineering career: gratitude for landing in a career that he could continuously find challenging and meaningful for fifty years.

• He's multi-dimensional - the packet included a photo from the office holiday party showing him playing electric bass.

While I stood there perusing the tome, my immersion in his fifty-year transportation journey was interrupted when a door nearby suddenly opened.

A man carrying a small briefcase silently and rather swiftly exited, walking past me toward the elevators, some fifty feet away (a foot for every year of FJM's career?)...

While awaiting the lift, the man looked back towards me. Was this indeed he? The legendary Frank J. Murphy himself? The photo on the document was a younger man with a goatee and the man by the elevator was older and clean-shaven. But still....

Our eyes met. I put on my best inquisitive expression and pointed to the autobiography, trying to ask across the fifty-foot divide, "Is this indeed you?"

He made no motion of his head, but if I'm not mistaken, his eyes were smiling. And then as suddenly as he had appeared, he stepped into the elevator and was gone.

Most of us can live in a city for an entire lifetime and never have a clue who actually designed and facilitated all of that flow of traffic. Even when something you don't like appears and you'd like to know whom to blame, it's always just "The City."

But if we're honest, we should admit that most of the time, things do work, and we never have a personal connection to anyone who actually created that functional design.

Question for your table: At what point does a mere civil servant become a hero?

Shabbat Shalom 

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

An Existential Dilemma?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Oct 11-12, 2024 • 10 Tishrei 5785 • Yom Kippur.
In memory of Binyomin ben Shneur Zalman z''l who left us just before RH and whose funeral was this week.

Once upon a time, I opened a checking account in Israel.

The banker explained that I was allowed to write the date using either the Gregorian or Hebrew calendar.

I thought that was so cool. 

And you know what would have been even cooler? If writing the Hebrew date had been the only option.

I wondered why Israelis — who do all speak Hebrew last I checked – would not want to use the Hebrew calendar?

Fast forward a few decades to October 7, 2024. 

Should we memorialize the massacre on its Gregorian date or on its Hebrew date (Simchat Torah), which this year will be on October 25?

Question for your pre- or post-Yom Kippur meal: What do you think?

We're only one year in, and this question has already cracked the unity as some indeed observed our new memorial day this week on October 7 while others are waiting for Simchat Torah, while still others are going to wait until after Simchat Torah so as not to mar the holiday...??

Is there any room for compromise here?

Is this fracture perhaps related to the ultimate Jewish Question?

Question 2 for your table: Are you a "Jewish American" or an "American Jew"?

(Jewish Canadian/Canadian Jew, Jewish Israeli/Israeli Jew, etc.)

Follow-up question: Would you have answered that question differently prior to October 7, 2023? 

Follow-up question to the follow-up question: Could someone who holds the latter view be elected to public office?

I received a phone call this week from a very Jewish, very American young woman who told me that she feels very stuck in a rut. "When I was eighteen, I was so driven, so happy, and for the past number of years I've been so unmotivated and so unhappy."

Besides therapy, what would you advise her?

It seems to me she's very fortunate. Because she has a vision of the kind of person she wants to become, of herself in a better place. That means she just needs some tools for returning to that self.

But what if someone can't remember not being the way they are? Not being angry, not being critical, not being impatient, not being lazy, or whatever the issue may be? What if they don't have model eighteen-year-old self to return to?

It seems to me that the answer is simple: go farther back. 

Even if you have to go all the way back to your birth day. 

A newborn baby is not angry, nor critical, nor impatient, nor lazy. Contrary to popular mythology, a newborn is completely innocent. 

You were indeed that innocent once upon a time. All that bad stuff that you want to shed, that's all learned layers that can be peeled off.

Picturing yourself as innocent and vulnerable as a newborn baby, that's Rosh Hashanah. 

Peeling off layers of negativity, that's Yom Kippur.

How will you know if you succeed?

You're successful if you can get along cheerily with someone who thinks different from you about the October 7-Simchat Torah question, or who plans to vote differently than you. Or who has a different definition of "genocide" than you. 

It's a high bar, but our our 2024 Yom Kippur Kit can help you get there. If you'd like a copy, reply to this email.

Wishing you an successful/uplifting Day of Atonements,

    an easy fast, 

and may you and yours, and Am Yisroel, and the world be sealed in the Book of life, peace, good health, happiness, holiness, and wisdom,

 

Shabbat Shalom 

and 

Happy Yom Kippur

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom. 

Rosh Hashanah 5785 - What Will Be?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Oct 2-5, 2024 • 1-3 Tishrei 5785 • Rosh Hashana and Haazinu (Deut 32-34).

Any Libras reading this?

It's that time of year again - the Scales of Rosh Hashanah.

Which way are they going to tip, toward Blessing or toward Curse? (As Bibi said last Friday)

As you prep for the new year, here are some recent JSLI outputs that you may enjoy:

1. A new interview of yours, truly that went live this week by the "Fully In Balance" nutrition coach, Dalia Brunschwig.

2. A class I gave last week: Southern California version and Northern California edition.

(There is an online printable adaptation of the class on my Times of Israel blog.)

3. Our updated "Rosh Hashana - Yom Kippur Worksheet and Meditations" (send an email to info [at] jsli.org to receive).

May you and yours, and Am Yisroel, and the entire world be written and sealed in the Book of life, peace, good health, happiness, holiness, and wisdom,

and

Shabbat Shalom

PS - This week's Table Talk also appears online at http://rabbiseinfeld.blogspot.com.

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

Stand-Up For Israel?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Sep 27-28, 2024 • 25 Elul 5784 • Netzavim (Deut 29-31).

Stand-Up For Israel?

A certain Israeli comedy sketch quipped that "standing" with Israel sounds so tiring.

"Free Palestine" sound much nicer. Who doesn't like free stuff?

Much-needed intelligent comic relief in a glut of MSM (main stream media) bone-headedness, such as "Israel and Hizbollah have been exchanging fire for eleven months" as if there is some kind of parity in this fight.

Maybe the AP, the BBC, the NYT and others don't have access to Wikipedia?

Why only now when Israel decides to exercise its sovereign right of self-defense is there a call for a cease fire?

Question for your table: What does "I stand for Israel" actually mean?

It seems to me that it really means, "I stand with the Jewish People."

It unfortunately took a pogrom of unmitigated evil and a 3-front war to bring us to this unity, but here we are.

Question for your table - Once the warring is over, what will happen to all the standing for Israel?

Shabbat Shalom

PS - This week's Table Talk also appears online at http://rabbiseinfeld.blogspot.com.

PPS - some more comedians: this one, these guys, and of course my cousin Jerry...

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

Finding True North

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Sep 20-21, 2024 • 18 Elul 5784 • Ki Tavo (Deut 26-29).

A certain rabbi I know phoned me up the other day with a rather random request.

He asked to borrow my compass.

He explained that he's building a shul and wants to check the engineer's measurements to make sure it's facing the right direction.

Here's what I asked him, which is an interesting question for your table: What's the right direction?

Most people instinctively say, "East". 

Presumably because we want to face Israel which is supposedly in the East. But if you look at a globe, you'll see that depending on where you are in North America or Europe, Israel may be much reasonably more toward the northeast or or southeast or even in the case of Alaska probably due North. 

In Baltimore, there are two shuls across the street from each other on Park Heights Avenue where they made contradictory decisions: one faces northeast and the other faces southeast.

Moreover, a compass doesn't actually point north. It points to Magnetic North, which is located in NE Canada. 

Now, online maps are more accurate than a compass, but that doesn't solve the first problem of deciding which way you should face your shul to begin with.

And I suggested a further problem: if the intent of facing Israel is to know that you're facing Israel, how does it help to make sure your shul is "precisely" facing Israel (whatever that means) if the people attending don't understand that precision?

For your table: If you were building a shul in your town, which way would you build it?

Bonus question: Does a moral compass work in the same way? Does it come down to a judgment call?

Shabbat Shalom

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

What Matters More?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Sep 13-14, 2024 • 11 Elul 5784 • Ki Teitzei (Deut 21-25).

Did last week's shofar theme start getting you in the mood? (Do you know how many days until the big day?)

This week, a simple question for your table:

If you had to choose between the following, which would you choose: to suffer excruciating pain for 24 hours, or to suffer a low level of pain for 24 years?

(That's a classic question from the author of Thinking Fast and Slow.)

Here's a twist on it for your table:

What's better: To live a lifetime of strict honesty 100 percent of the time and always have a hard time making ends meet, or to cut some ethical corners but always be in the black?

Before you say what you think is the "right" answer, consider: if you choose the former, you are risking a lifetime of worry, anxiety, and sleepless nights; while the latter person sleeps soundly at night.

Before you answer, think about the impact on your family and community, think about the big picture.

Shabbat Shalom

PS - Yes, of course the image is clickable - need you ask?

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

The Call of the Child?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Aug 30-31, 2024 • 27 Av 5784 • Re'eh (Deut 11-13).

First question for your table: Do you know anyone who suffers from choice-anxiety?

(Evidently related to analysis paralysis.)

Anxiety is the most common mental health disorder and anxiety over making choices is one of the most common forms of anxiety.

But can you guess which group of people almost never have anxiety?

Young children.

Why is that?

Last week I had the opportunity to study this phenomenon at close range when spending some quality time with my grandchildren.

If you haven't spent time with a 2- or 3-year-old lately, I highly recommend you find an opportunity to do so. Doesn't have to be your own child or grandchild; you'll get the same pleasure regardless.

And the inspiration: they're always busy, and they're always happy.

Question for your table: Are they busy because they're happy, or are they happy because they're busy?

One thing I know for sure — they don't suffer from any anxiety over choices. 

Apparently, many adults do. 

Indeed, research that has shown that too many choices make us miserable.

But if you think more deeply about it, you'll realize that we actually have infinite opportunities for choices. Every moment we can choose where to direct our eyes and other senses and our every step. 

So why don't people with choice-anxiety find all of these micro-choices as debilitating as the macro-choices?

I think that the answer is quite simple: the micro-choices don't bother us because they're not really choices at all.

If you're driven by a mission — like a child going after a toy — then you'll choose to do right now something that takes you in that direction.

For example, when someone rings the doorbell, you don't have to think about which foot you'll step with first, because you're focused on the mission of answering the door.

If you're not driven by a mission, you're more likely choosing reactively - based on what makes you more comfortable.

That's the ultimate choice: meaning versus comfort.

And it's immediate: what you're going to do, or think, right now. 

We're now four weeks away from Rosh Hashanah. After a harrowing year as a Jewish People, this Rosh Hashanah feels like one of the most momentous ever.

What kind of new year do you hope to have? Are you a better human being now than you were a year ago? What kind of person do you want to be a year from now? If you had to stand before a judge or jury and justify getting another year of life, what would you say?

Are you going to seek meaning or comfort?

Shabbat Shalom

and

Chodesh Tov

This week's Table Talk also appears online at https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/author/alexander-seinfeld/    

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

The Case of the Extra Mezuzah

Table Talk for your Shabbat table from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Aug 23-24, 2024 • 20 Av 5784 • Eikev (Deut 7-11).

On an online Jewish forum this week, someone asked,

My friend gifted me a mezuzah. But I already have one on my door. Any ideas of what I should do with the extra one?

Question for your table: How would you respond to this person?

Here's what I said: How many doorways are in your home (not counting bathrooms)?

There is a myth out there that we only put a mezuzah on the front door. Some have extended this myth to include the back door.

The mitzvah is: "on the doorposts of your house." 

Bedroom doors, kitchen doors, living room doors, walk-in closets, basement steps, every doorway other than bathrooms.

Myth #2 is that the box is the mezuzah. The box is the box, the parchment inside is the mezuzah. The parchment inside is a mini Torah scroll, handwritten by a Scribe with Torah-quality parchment and Torah-quality ink and Torah-quality precise lettering.

Since the scroll is the main thing, I personally prefer either glass or even the waterproof transparent plastic mezuzah cases because I like to see the scroll as I pass by. 

(For a nice set - case and kosher scroll together - click the image above.)

Did you hear about the newlyweds who were gifted an entire set of mezuzah's for their new home? When the husband came home his wife proudly showed him the splendid artisan gift. Then she said, "They came with looked like Hebrew instructions, but since neither of us reads Hebrew, I through them away."

Question for your table: Does it really matter whether there is a mezuzah on just the front door versus on every doorway?


Shabbat Shalom

PS - For a recommendation of where to buy mezuzah scrolls, send me an email.

PPS - Have you seen our new incomparable iPhone app ???

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Shabbat Shalom 

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Et Tu...?

Table Talk for your Shabbat table from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Aug 16-17, 2024 • 13 Av 5784 • V'eschanan (Deut 3-7).

As a follow-up to our Shakespeare theme a couple weeks ago, here's a quick trivia question for your Shabbat table:

Who said, "Et tu, Brute?"

The answer is, of course, Julius Caesar.

Or, should I say, the Julius Caesar of William Shakespeare's imagination. 

Or should I say, Julius Caesar as imagined by the author of the eponymous play attributed to William Shakespeare (and if that topic intrigues you, check out this excellent take on it).

OK, we remember from high school English class that it is indeed Julius Caesar saying the only line we remember from the play: "Et tu Brute?" Second question - In what context does he say it?

These are of course his dying words as he is being stabbed by the conspirators.

Third question: What do the words mean?

Answer: "You too, Brutus?"

Fourth question: What's that supposed to mean?

Answer: If, you, my close friend Brutus, are among the conspirators, then I truly have no friends in the world and I might as well die.

Sounds pretty tragic to me.

But in Hebrew, the word Tu has an entirely different meaning.

It means 15 (as in the number).

You may have heard of Tu Bishvat - the 15th of Shevat (month) - our Arbor Day (around late January).

But have you heard of Tu B'Av - the 15th of Av?

That's this coming Sunday.

What's it all about? The diametric opposite of Caesar's death — it's all about brotherly/sisterly love.

It's when maidens and young men used to go out to the fields and try to make matches for marriage.

Sounds a bit like a Shakespearian comedy?

But what made it a time of love was not the match-making.

The more affluent girls would share outfits with the less affluent girls, so that everyone would be looking her best and equally attractive.

Think about it. 

To me, that's something awesome.

Do we have people like that today, who go against their own self-interest to help someone else succeed?

If they're out there, I would love to meet them.

Question for your table: Is that kind of personality a function of parents and education, or a conscious choice?


Shabbat Shalom

PS - For some easy ideas on how to spread the love, click on the pic above.

PPS - Invited to a bar mitzvah but don't know what to bring? Check out our barmitzvahalbum.com. Looking for a daily dose of Jewish wow? Check out our incomparable iPhone app.

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Shabbat Shalom 

The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.