Don't Slip!

The purpose of this blog is to wear it with pride, at least at the Shabbat table....please print and share...

The question came up again this week - inevitably - What's the cause of anti-Semitism?

Meaning, why the persistence of it, like a cancer?

Try asking it at your table.

It's so common the media don't bother reporting it. But it persists.

But why should there be a cause? Maybe there are many causes?

When people ask this question, what I think they really want to know is, How can we stop it?

Some would say, we cannot stop it, so let's build taller fences or hide your Jewishness.

Others say: just try to be like Tzvi Willner.

Here's his story.

The International Seafood Show in Boston, Massachusetts, attracts over twenty thousand people every year.

The highlight of the show is a massive exhibition of one thousand seafood booths with an array of delectable fish items that are a dream come true for any fish lover.

Tzvi Willner attended the 2003 Show as a representative of Shindler’s Fish, a kosher seafood company. After three successful days of purchasing and selling, Tzvi was anxious to return to his family in Baltimore. His flight was scheduled to depart from Logan International Airport at 4:00 PM.

Tzvi knew that airport security had been tightened after September 11, particularly in Boston. As a result, he made sure to check in extremely early.

This was before the advent of TSA-Pre, so everyone still had to put their shoes through the scanner.

On the other side of the x-ray, Tzvi discovered the unhappy fact that his shoes had gone missing. There was a pair of shoes similar to his but that were three sizes smaller than his.

A shoeless Tzvi approached a TSA officer and explained his predicament. What exactly was he supposed to do if his shoes were nowhere to be found? The guard informed Tzvi that, to the best of his knowledge the airport had never experienced a case of lost shoes, and he promptly called his supervisor, head of security at Logan.

The supervisor attempted all possible means of finding Tzvi's shoes. He made several announcements over the airports public address system, asking all passengers to make sure they were wearing their own shoes and hadn’t inadvertently taken someone else’s. In addition, he sent police officers to scout the airport for Tzvi’s shoes. After waiting patiently for some time for his shoes to be returned, Tzvi was informed by the head of security that his shoes were officially declared lost. All the head of security could do was offer Tzvi money to replace the cost of his shoes and suggest that he go to a nearby mall to buy another pair.

With only fifteen minutes until boarding, Tzvi didn't want to miss his flight. Despondent, he sat down to consider his options. This was one of those "puddle-jumper" airlines that doesn't even board at the gate - you have to walk across the tarmac and climb a set of stairs into the plane. The problem was that it had rained all day in Boston. He was going to get his feet soaked to the skin. But did he have any alternative?

All of a sudden, like an angel from Heaven, he heard a gentle voice say, “I have a pair of slippers in my carry-on that I'd be happy to give you." Tzvi watched the woman pull from her bag a pair of fluffy pink slippers.

He bit his tongue to stop himself from laughing at the image of himself in a business suit and tie wearing these pink slippers. At the same time, he realized this was actually his only option.

"Final boarding call for flight 123 to Baltimore!"

Tzvi smiled gratefully and thanked the kind woman for her slippers. With a straight face, he walked across the long, wet tarmac to the plane. Aware that all his fellow passengers were watching him with amusement, he felt more self-conscious than he ever had in his life.

As he boarded, he overheard someone whisper, “You know, it’s amazing! See that guy in the pink slippers? He never lost his cool once. l never heard him raise his voice or get upset from the time his shoes were lost until now. What a guy!"

Tzvi's embarrassment turned to pride because he realized that his yarmulke advertised that he was Jewish, and suddenly, wearing pink slippers didn't bother him at all.

(Until he arrived to Baltimore and was among a new crowd - including his wife - who had no idea why this well-dressed man was wearing fluffy pink slippers....)

2 questions for your table:

1. If you were in similar circumstances, would you wear the pink slippers (in public, with everyone staring at you)? 
2. If you were wearing a Jewish symbol (yarmulke, Star of David, etc.) in public, could there be any circumstance that would prompt you to take it off?

Shabbat Shalom


PS -  This week's 7.5-minute podcast is called "Forty Winks" and there are 10 ways to hear it:

iTunes/iPhone … YidPod … Spotify … Google Podcasts … Pocketcasts … Stitcher … Podbean … Amazon Podcasts … RSS … or just on the web.

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Your Honor May I Interrupt?

The purpose of this blog is to create a happy interruption at the Shabbat table....please print and share...

Here's a starter question for your table: When you're working, do you ever enjoy being interrupted?

Ordinarily I compose this email Thursday night and get it all cued up for sending Friday morning.

Last night, however, my workflow was pleasantly interrupted.

I do not exaggerate.

I want to stress pleasantly, because it's true - I enjoyed the interruption very much.

How is that possible?

After the interruption was concluded, I sat back and asked myself why - why did I not only not mind the interruption, I actually enjoyed it?

I think the simple and perhaps obvious answer is because the person and activity involved were even more important and meaningful to me than writing this email. 

And of course you are now anxious to know who and what could possibly be more important and meaningful than you, Dear Reader?

I get that. You are indeed very dear and precious to me, which is why I work so hard to write you something meaningful to share at your Shabbat table.

But one of the few people in the world more precious to me than even you, Dear Reader, is my dear mother, who needed my help with a pressing matter last night.

Some people have trouble enjoying being interrupted to help someone, even a parent!

Question for your table - is it hypothetically possible to enjoy every interruption, or are there some interruptions that simply can never be tolerable?


Shabbat Shalom


PS -  This week's 6-minute podcast is called "The Eighty Percent Rule" and there are 10 ways to hear it:

iTunes/iPhone … YidPod … Spotify … Google Podcasts … Pocketcasts … Stitcher … Podbean … Amazon Podcasts … RSS … or just on the web.

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Don't Worry, Be Healthy?

The purpose of this blog is a healthy AND happy Shabbat table....please print and share...

Dovetailing with last week's message about end-of-life regrets, here's something relevant to everyone today.

A new peer-reviewed study in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine finds that people who experienced increased stress, anxiety and depression at the start of the pandemic were at greater risk of getting COVID-19.

Question for your table - What do you think? Does that sound remotely plausible? If so, what's the take-away?

We all know that correlation doesn't equal causation. Yet we also know that your psychology can impact your health. Maybe being happy gives you stronger immunity.

Check out the article, and look at their references, such as "Stress and Health: A Review of Psychobiological Processes". 

Then try this one at the table - How could this wisdom be applied?

Everyone surely agrees that being healthy makes you happier than being sick. But if being happier also makes you healthier, which comes first - health or happiness?

(Hint: click on the doc above.)

And how can you possibly help a person who is both unhealthy and unhappy?

Shabbat Shalom


PS -  This week's 8-minute podcast is called "Good News, Bad News" and there are 10 ways to hear it:

iTunes/iPhone … YidPod … Spotify … Google Podcasts … Pocketcasts … Stitcher … Podbean … Amazon Podcasts … RSS … or just on the web.

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Dying to Regret?

The purpose of this blog is a no-regrets Shabbat table....please print and share...

Happy Birthday shoutout to Donna in Tacoma!

Have you ever heard of Bronnie Ware?

Me neither, before this week.

(I was not even aware that "Bronnie" existed as a given name, perhaps because I've never been Down Under. Today, however, I am Bronnie aware.)

Bronnie's story dovetails with last week's light-hearted comparison of Queen Elizabeth and Pharaoh.

(By the way, I was surprised that no one pointed out another parallel - Queen Elizabeth and Pharaoh have the distinction of being the longest-reining monarch in their country's history.)

Today's dovetail is about people who are fortunate to live long lives but sadly approach the end of their years with regrets.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who turned her patients' dying regrets into a virulently-popular blog who then turned the blog into a best-selling book (who then turned the book into a new career).

Before we spill the beans, try asking this at the dinner table:

What would you guess are the top 5 regrets of average people on their death bed?

Here is Bronnie's list (along with her comments):

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

Final question for your table: her data set comes from people who all were confined to nursing homes at the end of their lives. Would you expect that a broader sample would yield different top regrets?

Shabbat Shalom


PS -  There are 10 ways to hear this week's highly-acclaimed 10-minute Body & Soul podcast, "A Drop of Golden Sun" :

iTunes/iPhone … YidPod … Spotify … Google Podcasts … Pocketcasts … Stitcher … Podbean … Amazon Podcasts … RSS … or just on the web.

Appreciated this Table Talk? Like it, tweet it, forward it....