Oldie But Goodie?

The purpose of this blog is to increase mental fitness at the Shabbat table. Please print and share...
In honor of the recent birthdays of Devorah and Tehila Seinfeld, and of the recent yahrzeits of Bert Walker and Yeudel ben Avraham.

This week the Chinese Health Commission reported that over fifty percent of Chinese adults are overweight and one in seven Chinese teenagers are obese.

Am I the only one who remembers,

They're starving back in China
So finish what you've got.

Yesterday, someone who is about 60 and not obese said to me, "There's no way" that he has 20 productive years ahead of him.

Maybe he knows too many actuaries. Why he shouldn't expect to live actively until 80 or 100 or beyond?

"Statistically, the odds are against me."

Are they? This is someone who takes care of his health.

Ever heard of How to Lie With Statistics?

A few weeks ago I gave a certain Gentile woman a blessing that she should live a long life, "until 100!"

She said, "Oh no, I don't want to live that long!"

Question for your table - If you could live as long as you want, how long would you want?

(Perhaps at least long enough too see things like this, or this.)

Shabbat Shalom

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Trust the Beard?

 The purpose of this blog is to show a good face at the Friday night dinner table. Please print and share...

 Happy Hannuka, the sequel.

This week's first questions for your table: Are you a bearder or anti-bearder? Bonus question: can you name four US presidents who sported one? 

For some, such as the FORBS, the IORBS, and the AORBS, a beard is of course a matter of great pride.

For my father, zichrono livracha, a beard was a convenience - think of all that saved time for not shaving.

I'm not sure of Joseph Palmer's motive, but his story is worth telling.

Palmer, a veteran of the War of 1812, was a farmer near Johnny Appleseed's hometown. He sported what today would probably be considered a very manly beard.

But in 1830 rural Massachusetts, some of his neighbors apparently considered his beard deviant and threatening the delicate fabric of society. 

After mocking him proved ineffective, a gang of men decided to help him toe the facial line, accosting him one day with scissors.

Palmer successfully defended himself, but two of his assailants were wounded in the scuffle and they managed to get him arrested, tried and convicted for "unprovoked assault."

Unwilling to pay the fine, he spent 15 harrowing, abusive months in jail, including three months of solitary confinement.

He lived a long life, until 1873, by which time the White House had already had a couple residents with beards.

The question remains: What did they found so offensive in Palmer's beard in 1830?

According to one new study, a beard conveys expertise.

So this gives us a double question for your table:

Does a beard convey expertise?
What could they have found so offensive about Palmer's beard?


Happy Channuka and

Shabbat Shalom
 

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Drunken Killer Elephants?

The purpose of this blog is to add some color to the Friday night dinner table. Please print and share...

Happy Hannuka!

For those looking for a new twist on the holiday to share with your table, here's a tale I stumbled upon that everyone will surely enjoy:

As every Jewish child knows, the evil king of the Channuka story is Antiochus III. 

Well, nobody lives for ever, not even someone called "The Great".... Can you guess the name of his successor?

You guessed it: Antiochus IV.

IV is defeated in battle by his great rival, Ptolemy IV of Egypt.

(Recall that both are Hellenistic kings ruling segments of Alexander the Great's empire.)

On his way home to Egypt, Ptolemy - ever the good pagan - stops in Jerusalem to thank the local "god", i.e., God.

But his attempt to enter the Temple and the Holy of Holies is rebuffed, first by the Cohanim (priests) and then by Divine intervention - he experiences temporary paralysis.

Humiliated, Ptolemy returns to Egypt and becomes even more anti-Jewish than Antiochus III had been in the Channukah story.

Meaning, he was really into paganism and exceedingly anti-Jewish.

He creates a special Jewish tax they have to pay. He makes them wear his version of the Nazi yellow star - branding them with the symbol of Dionysus. And the penalty for subverting these and other anti-Jewish measures is death.

Most Jews accept the decrees and stubburnly refuse to give up their Judaism. So Ptolemy turns up the heat: all Jews must die.

Even the cosmopolitan Jews of Alexandria. They will be rounded up too, and anyone who informs on a Jew will be rewarded with the Jew's property, so there is great enthusaism for the enterprise in that "modern, enlightened" city.

The Hippodrome is the only building large enough to serve as a prison, and there the Jews await their fate....

Since the end of the war, Egypt has had hundreds of trained killer elephants with nothing to do. Ptolemy dreams up the idea of getting 500 elephants drunk and releasing them in the Hippodrome.

The imprisoned Jews of course are praying for salvation.

Hermon, the Keeper of the Elephants, follows orders and gets the elephants drunk as loons. But the king himself apprarently got ahold of the same wine because he falls asleep and doesn't show up at the appointed time, so the massacre is postponed.

The Jews are still praying.

The next day Hermon the Keeper of the Elephants prepares his herd again, yet this time, Ptolemy apparently forgets the entire plan and castigates Hermon for foolishness.

But Ptolemy's eager officers remind him that it was indeed his plan, so the elephant massacre is rescheduled.

Finally, Ptolemy and Hermon lead five-hundred drunken elephants to the Hippodrome.

The Jews hear the tumult, see the rising dust and do the only thing they can — raising eyes and hearts to Heaven. A cohen named Elazar leads their prayers, beseeching God to bring a miracle today like the countless miracles he has done for our ancestors.

As the king and his elephants arrive, the Jews raise their prayers to a frenzy and two angels appear (only visible to the Greeks and the elephants). Greeks and elephants alike stop in their tracks in fear, and then the elephants begin to stampede outside the Hippodrome, trampling many Greeks to death.

After this miraculous salvation, Ptolemy is man enough to recognize a superior force. He offers the Jews a (presumably kosher) banquet and declares them welcome and protected throughout his empire.

Question for your table: Is it a Channukah story?


Happy Channuka and

Shabbat Shalom

PS - This story, by the way, is told in several forms in ancient non-canonical texts, including what is called 3 Maccabees and Against Apion by Josephus. If you want to read more about drunken killer elephants, click here.

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As always, this message can be read online at http://rabbiseinfeld.blogspot.com

Arose is Arose is Arose?

The purpose of this blog is to add some color to the Friday night dinner table. Please print and share... In honor of the yahrzeits of Avraham ben Leib and my maternal grandfather Chaim ben Avraham.

I hope you enjoyed last week's Thanksgiving special, "How Do You Hodu?"

In case anyone over-did it, here are some lo-calorie roses for your Shabbat table.

These blooms were cut this morning from our own backyard.

November roses are not unheard of in the mid-Atlantic, but December?

Let's say, for the sake of discussion, that we are enjoying these buds due to global warming. 

If so - here's the question for your table - Is it a happy, uplifting ornament, or a sad, ominous one?

What I'm suggesting is a table conversation about the proverbial "silver lining". We could take this to extremes, but whether we're talking about a life-or-death struggle or a small frustration or disappointment, the question is the same: it is possible or even desirable to always find something positive to focus on? Or is it better sometimes to wallow in one's misery?

Shabbat Shalom

And Happy Channuka!

(In case you forgot when the Festival of Lights begins, click here.)

PS - Yes, yes, yes, the image as always is clickable...

PPS - If you are still in "cyber Monday" mode, please note that at no extra cost to you, Amazon will donate a % of your shopping to JSLI and support our mission to transform Jewish education. Just go to http://smile.amazon.com. Or, if you're feeling even more generous, direct donations may be made via Paypal, Venmo, Zelle, Credit Card, appreciated stock or even a good o'l fashioned paper check - http://jsli.org/donate.

PPPS - My Torah Health and Fitness Co-author, Dr. Dan Grove, has an update on his COVID blog regarding the new CDC guidelines that you might find helpful. 

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