Oldie But Goodie?

The purpose of this blog is to increase mental fitness at the Shabbat table. Please print and share...
In honor of the recent birthdays of Devorah and Tehila Seinfeld, and of the recent yahrzeits of Bert Walker and Yeudel ben Avraham.

This week the Chinese Health Commission reported that over fifty percent of Chinese adults are overweight and one in seven Chinese teenagers are obese.

Am I the only one who remembers,

They're starving back in China
So finish what you've got.

Yesterday, someone who is about 60 and not obese said to me, "There's no way" that he has 20 productive years ahead of him.

Maybe he knows too many actuaries. Why he shouldn't expect to live actively until 80 or 100 or beyond?

"Statistically, the odds are against me."

Are they? This is someone who takes care of his health.

Ever heard of How to Lie With Statistics?

A few weeks ago I gave a certain Gentile woman a blessing that she should live a long life, "until 100!"

She said, "Oh no, I don't want to live that long!"

Question for your table - If you could live as long as you want, how long would you want?

(Perhaps at least long enough too see things like this, or this.)

Shabbat Shalom

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Trust the Beard?

 The purpose of this blog is to show a good face at the Friday night dinner table. Please print and share...

 Happy Hannuka, the sequel.

This week's first questions for your table: Are you a bearder or anti-bearder? Bonus question: can you name four US presidents who sported one? 

For some, such as the FORBS, the IORBS, and the AORBS, a beard is of course a matter of great pride.

For my father, zichrono livracha, a beard was a convenience - think of all that saved time for not shaving.

I'm not sure of Joseph Palmer's motive, but his story is worth telling.

Palmer, a veteran of the War of 1812, was a farmer near Johnny Appleseed's hometown. He sported what today would probably be considered a very manly beard.

But in 1830 rural Massachusetts, some of his neighbors apparently considered his beard deviant and threatening the delicate fabric of society. 

After mocking him proved ineffective, a gang of men decided to help him toe the facial line, accosting him one day with scissors.

Palmer successfully defended himself, but two of his assailants were wounded in the scuffle and they managed to get him arrested, tried and convicted for "unprovoked assault."

Unwilling to pay the fine, he spent 15 harrowing, abusive months in jail, including three months of solitary confinement.

He lived a long life, until 1873, by which time the White House had already had a couple residents with beards.

The question remains: What did they found so offensive in Palmer's beard in 1830?

According to one new study, a beard conveys expertise.

So this gives us a double question for your table:

Does a beard convey expertise?
What could they have found so offensive about Palmer's beard?


Happy Channuka and

Shabbat Shalom
 

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Drunken Killer Elephants?

The purpose of this blog is to add some color to the Friday night dinner table. Please print and share...

Happy Hannuka!

For those looking for a new twist on the holiday to share with your table, here's a tale I stumbled upon that everyone will surely enjoy:

As every Jewish child knows, the evil king of the Channuka story is Antiochus III. 

Well, nobody lives for ever, not even someone called "The Great".... Can you guess the name of his successor?

You guessed it: Antiochus IV.

IV is defeated in battle by his great rival, Ptolemy IV of Egypt.

(Recall that both are Hellenistic kings ruling segments of Alexander the Great's empire.)

On his way home to Egypt, Ptolemy - ever the good pagan - stops in Jerusalem to thank the local "god", i.e., God.

But his attempt to enter the Temple and the Holy of Holies is rebuffed, first by the Cohanim (priests) and then by Divine intervention - he experiences temporary paralysis.

Humiliated, Ptolemy returns to Egypt and becomes even more anti-Jewish than Antiochus III had been in the Channukah story.

Meaning, he was really into paganism and exceedingly anti-Jewish.

He creates a special Jewish tax they have to pay. He makes them wear his version of the Nazi yellow star - branding them with the symbol of Dionysus. And the penalty for subverting these and other anti-Jewish measures is death.

Most Jews accept the decrees and stubburnly refuse to give up their Judaism. So Ptolemy turns up the heat: all Jews must die.

Even the cosmopolitan Jews of Alexandria. They will be rounded up too, and anyone who informs on a Jew will be rewarded with the Jew's property, so there is great enthusaism for the enterprise in that "modern, enlightened" city.

The Hippodrome is the only building large enough to serve as a prison, and there the Jews await their fate....

Since the end of the war, Egypt has had hundreds of trained killer elephants with nothing to do. Ptolemy dreams up the idea of getting 500 elephants drunk and releasing them in the Hippodrome.

The imprisoned Jews of course are praying for salvation.

Hermon, the Keeper of the Elephants, follows orders and gets the elephants drunk as loons. But the king himself apprarently got ahold of the same wine because he falls asleep and doesn't show up at the appointed time, so the massacre is postponed.

The Jews are still praying.

The next day Hermon the Keeper of the Elephants prepares his herd again, yet this time, Ptolemy apparently forgets the entire plan and castigates Hermon for foolishness.

But Ptolemy's eager officers remind him that it was indeed his plan, so the elephant massacre is rescheduled.

Finally, Ptolemy and Hermon lead five-hundred drunken elephants to the Hippodrome.

The Jews hear the tumult, see the rising dust and do the only thing they can — raising eyes and hearts to Heaven. A cohen named Elazar leads their prayers, beseeching God to bring a miracle today like the countless miracles he has done for our ancestors.

As the king and his elephants arrive, the Jews raise their prayers to a frenzy and two angels appear (only visible to the Greeks and the elephants). Greeks and elephants alike stop in their tracks in fear, and then the elephants begin to stampede outside the Hippodrome, trampling many Greeks to death.

After this miraculous salvation, Ptolemy is man enough to recognize a superior force. He offers the Jews a (presumably kosher) banquet and declares them welcome and protected throughout his empire.

Question for your table: Is it a Channukah story?


Happy Channuka and

Shabbat Shalom

PS - This story, by the way, is told in several forms in ancient non-canonical texts, including what is called 3 Maccabees and Against Apion by Josephus. If you want to read more about drunken killer elephants, click here.

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As always, this message can be read online at http://rabbiseinfeld.blogspot.com

Arose is Arose is Arose?

The purpose of this blog is to add some color to the Friday night dinner table. Please print and share... In honor of the yahrzeits of Avraham ben Leib and my maternal grandfather Chaim ben Avraham.

I hope you enjoyed last week's Thanksgiving special, "How Do You Hodu?"

In case anyone over-did it, here are some lo-calorie roses for your Shabbat table.

These blooms were cut this morning from our own backyard.

November roses are not unheard of in the mid-Atlantic, but December?

Let's say, for the sake of discussion, that we are enjoying these buds due to global warming. 

If so - here's the question for your table - Is it a happy, uplifting ornament, or a sad, ominous one?

What I'm suggesting is a table conversation about the proverbial "silver lining". We could take this to extremes, but whether we're talking about a life-or-death struggle or a small frustration or disappointment, the question is the same: it is possible or even desirable to always find something positive to focus on? Or is it better sometimes to wallow in one's misery?

Shabbat Shalom

And Happy Channuka!

(In case you forgot when the Festival of Lights begins, click here.)

PS - Yes, yes, yes, the image as always is clickable...

PPS - If you are still in "cyber Monday" mode, please note that at no extra cost to you, Amazon will donate a % of your shopping to JSLI and support our mission to transform Jewish education. Just go to http://smile.amazon.com. Or, if you're feeling even more generous, direct donations may be made via Paypal, Venmo, Zelle, Credit Card, appreciated stock or even a good o'l fashioned paper check - http://jsli.org/donate.

PPPS - My Torah Health and Fitness Co-author, Dr. Dan Grove, has an update on his COVID blog regarding the new CDC guidelines that you might find helpful. 

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How Do You Do Hodu?

 The purpose of this blog is to make sure there's hodu at every table... Please share...

Happy birthday shout-out to Teri in Portland!

Question for your Thanksgiving table – someone asked me today – "Do you think the tenor of Thanksgiving has changed, now that Columbus has become so controversial?"

As long-term readers of this email know, this is that special week in November when we pull out, dust off, revamp and update our annual Hodu message.

Here are a few questions to stump everyone at the table.

Try this one first: Why turkey?

Serious question: Why do Americans eat turkey on Thanksgiving?

(I.e., like it's their religious duty, like matzah on Pesach.)

If anyone says, "They ate turkey so we have to eat turkey," you can politely let them know they are wrong on 2 accounts.

First of all, would it really be so bad to have a Thanksgiving pizza? Or Thanksgiving hamburgers? Or a red beans and rice Thanksgiving? How about a Chinese Thanksgiving? Curry Thanksgiving, anyone? Do vegetarians do Thanksgiving? 

(I know I'm not the first to ask this question, but it seems far from resolved.)
Second, they probably didn't eat much turkey.

At that original Thanksgiving in 1621, they apparently ate mostly venison.
I know, shocking, right?

Let's go back in time.

Imagine you are on the boat with Columbus.

(Maybe you're even a Jewish refugee from the Spanish Inquisition.)

PS - If you'd like to know about the Jews who sailed with Columbus, send me an email.

Of course, you and your geographically-challenged buddies think you're in Asia.

It's a strange world! Strange people, fauna and flora.

And you see this funky chicken.

The Wampanoag Indians call it neyhom.

What do you, O Spanish sailor, call it?

Remember, it looks vaguely like a chicken and you think you're in India, so naturally you call it "Indian chicken."

Are you with me so far?

French explorers agree that it looks like a chicken and they call poulet d'Inde (Indian chicken), later shortened to dinde (pronounced "dand").

English settlers think it looks more like a Turkey pheasant than a chicken, so they call the bird turkey.

Jewish explorers side with the French and call it tarnegol hodu — "Hindu chicken" — later shortened to hodu.

What's interesting for us is that the Hebrew word HODU also just happens to mean "give thanks" (in the imperative mood for all the grammarphiles out there).


So back to our main question for your table: What food should you eat on Hodu Day?

(Hodu, of course.)

Now try asking somebody Jewish at the table this stumper:

You're Jewish, right? Can you explain what "Jewish" means?

Forget the religious or cultural meaning; we want to know the etymology of "Jewish".

It means something like, "a state of being thankful". (Happens to be from this week's Parsha by the way.)

Ergo, if you're living up to the name "Jewish" then you are....

....living in a state of being thankful.

Let that sink in before asking the next question: How often?

(Once a year? Once a month? Once a week? Once a day?)

That could be a lot of hodu to stuff yourself with.

Final question for the table: How do you do hodu?

Happy Hodu-Day and

(which for some is the same as saying...)

Shabbat Shalom


PPS - When you shop using Amazon Smile, you can designate Jewish Spiritual Literacy as your charity, and they will gift a percentage of your purchase to JSLI - for the same cost to you.

To learn about other JSL projects, click here.

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Hardly of Hearing?

 The purpose of this blog is to perk up some ears at the Shabbat table. Please print and share...

This is what happened:

The other day, I scheduled a meeting with someone. I asked him to bring a couple items to the meeting, let's call them X, Y, and Z.

He shows up to the meeting without X, Y and Z.

I ask him, "Why didn't you bring X, Y and Z, as you said you would?"

"I never said that! I NEVER said that. I'm sure I never said that."

"Boy, I wish I had a recording of our conversation...."

4 questions for your table....

Who's right?
More broadly, who's more responsible, the speaker or the listener? 
Is this possibly a case of "people hear what they want to hear"?
What's the moral of the story?


Shabbat Shalom
 

PS - Yes, the image as always is clickable...


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Fall of Giants

 The purpose of this blog is to invite some giants to the Shabbat table. Please print and share...

When my grandfather died about 20 years ago, I and a few other family members prepared eulogies for the funeral. 

However, the rabbi in charge gently informed me that in that community, he normally says the only eulogy. 

Well, I said, today I'll be speaking too.

"You see," he persisted, "Family members are often overcome with emotion and it can be very difficult for them and everyone else. This is why we do it this way."

It was my only chance in my life to bury my grandfather, I wasn't going to budge. "It's a big mitzvah, I want to do it."

It was also my first ever eulogy. My own rabbi had guided me thus: A good eulogy makes them laugh and cry at the same time.

But he wasn't going to go down without a fight. "Why do you say it's such a mitzvah? Where in the Torah is there such a mitzvah?"

"Um... Parshat Chayei Sarah, 2nd verse?"

He had  no further comments or questions.

This week the world lost some staggering human beings, each a giant in their own way. 

First and foremost was Rabbi Dovid Feinstein zl, a rabbi's rabbi and yet a very down-to-earth man.

Here's an audio portrait of his greatness.

Second was Rabbi Lord Dr (I'm not 100% sure that's the correct order) Yonatan Sacks zl. There were many eulogies of him, but here's one that not enough people heard:

https://rabbidunner.com/harav-Wlord-jonathan-sacks-zl/

Third was my aforementioned grandfathers mechutenes - that's Yiddish for in-law - Eleanor Rubinstein of Portland. She passed away this week at 100 years + 7 years + 1/2-year — she had the wisdom of a 100-year-old, the energy of a 7-year-old, and the innocence of a 6-month-old.

One of her grand-daughters eulogized:

A role model in every way, she demonstrated an unwavering commitment to volunteering. Starting with the Red Cross during War War II, she consistently found ways to give back, whether it was the PTA, Girl Scouts or the National Council for Jewish Women. Well into her 100s, Eleanore volunteered weekly for Store to Door, making calls to homebound seniors with her miniature dachshund Sophie sitting in her lap..... Maintaining her positive spirit and clever wit to the end, she said all of her goodbyes before she passed. When asked if she wanted to rest between Facetime calls, she declined: “I’m going to be resting for a very long time.”

 

And last but not least, this week marked the 6th Yahrzeit of the Har Nof martyrs. I blogged about them then and you should only read it if you want to be both uplifted and sad at the same time.

The question for your table - it's rather cliché yet still great for conversation — What do you want them to say at your funeral?

Shabbat Shalom
 

Announcement: To become a partner in the publication of groundbreaking new book, Body and Soul: A Torah Guide to Health, Fitness, and Longevity, Medically-Annotated, it is now possible to contribute a dedication in someone's honor or memory to be printed in the book, please email dedications@jsli.org for instructions and may the merit of your contribution uplift them and the Jewish People and the world. Eight years in the making, this collaboration of Torah scholars, doctors and dietitians will, we hope, change the way we relate to our bodies and to food.


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The Ideal Form of Government?

The purpose of this blog is to democratize the Friday night dinner table. Please print and share...

How accurate would you say was my election prediction last week?

Some people think we have the best possible system, because in the long-term it's so stable compared to other democracies.

But how can anyone be happy with a system that spends - collectively - over a billion dollars just to elect the president? 

Combined, all of the races have spent $14 billion.

These amounts seems obscene to me. Can't we get the job done cheaper than that (without outsourcing to China)?

Imagine what else could have been done with that $$$. 
 

Election week always reminds me of my late friend Norman Hansen.

I met Norman in the 1980s when he was 90. He had retired at age 65 and spent the next 25 years reading many books of history and political science and traveling the world. 

So by the time I met him, he was a highly-opinionated old man.

My favorite quote from him: "The biggest mistake of my life was voting for Roosevelt in 1944 - I should have known he was too sick!"

Norman was a keen student of political theory, and loved to quote Toynbee quoting Lord Acton: "Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Yet paradoxically, he had come to the conclusion that "the greatest form of government possible" is a "benign monarchy". That is, something like the Danish model, he said. (Although I am not sure now which period of Danish history he was referring to.)

So all this leads to tonight's question for your table: What's the ideal form of government?


Shabbat Shalom

Announcement: To become a partner in the publication of groundbreaking new book, Body and Soul: A Torah Guide to Health, Fitness, and Longevity, Medically-Annotated, it is now possible to contribute a dedication in someone's honor or memory to be printed in the book, please email dedications@jsli.org for instructions and may the merit of your contribution uplift them and the Jewish People and the world. Eight years in the making, this collaboration of Torah scholars, doctors and dietitians will, we hope, change the way we relate to our bodies and to food.


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Guess Who Wins?

re.The purpose of this blog is to push the pause-button at the Friday night dinner table. Please print and share...lease print and share...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last week our topic was legacy.

This week it's what's on everyone's mind.

It's a remarkable thing - the US presidential election is the only such election in the world that makes headlines in every single country in the world. In many ways, we're electing the world leader.

So first of all, try asking at your table: Who do you think will win, and why?

It's interesting, almost everyone has an opinion on the matter. That is, everyone on the planet. 

But so what? Why does anyone's opinion matter?

Here are two people whose opinions might matter more than average.

There are two professors who have carefully studied the patterns of history and developed a highly accurate understanding of these patterns enabling them to predict the outcome of presidential elections.

1. American University Historian Allan Lichtman, who has accuractly predicted elections since 1984 with his "13 Keys".

2. Stony Brook Political Scientists Helmut Norpoth whose model accurately predicted 25 out of 27 elections with his "Primary Model".
 

This year, Professor Lichtman says Biden will win.

And Professor Norpoth predicts Trump will win.

Question for your table: Is it a toss-up? Or does this mean we should expect a tie?

Bigger question for the table: Is it possible to stop thinking about the future and start living in the present moment?


Shabbat Shalom

Announcement: To become a partner in the publication of groundbreaking new book, Body and Soul: A Torah Guide to Health, Fitness, and Longevity, Medically-Annotated, it is now possible to contribute a dedication in someone's honor or memory to be printed in the book, please email dedications@jsli.org for instructions and may the merit of your contribution uplift them and the Jewish People and the world. Eight years in the making, this collaboration of Torah scholars, doctors and dietitians will, we hope, change the way we relate to our bodies and to food.


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Giving Legs to Your Legacy

 The purpose of this blog is to for the Shabbat memories to endure for ages. Please print and share...

Happy birthday shoutout to Jeff in NYC!

Last week I suggested asking your table about heroism.

This week it's about legacy.

In short: What's the point of heroism if it makes no lasting impact?

After they chew on that for awhile, try asking this: How many of your eight great-grandparents can you can name? How many of your sixteen great-great grandparents?

Or this: What is something of note that your great-grandparents accomplished?

Now, do you realize that one day, you are going to be someone's great-grandparent?

How are your great-grandchildren going to remember you? 

Or to put it this way, here's last week's musical link again. Does that song speak to you?

These questions could be comfortably ignored, or they could penetrate deeply. I hope they can foster a meaningful conversation tonight.


Shabbat Shalom

Announcement: To become a partner in the publication of groundbreaking new book, Body and Soul: A Torah Guide to Health, Fitness, and Longevity, Medically-Annotated, it is now possible to contribute a dedication in someone's honor or memory to be printed in the book, please email dedications@jsli.org for instructions and may the merit of your contribution uplift them and the Jewish People and the world. Eight years in the making, this collaboration of Torah scholars, doctors and dietitians will, we hope, change the way we relate to our bodies and to food.


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Why on Earth Are You Here-o?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The purpose of this blog is to make the Shabbat Table epic. Please print and share.

Dedicated to the memory of Yermiyahu Matan (Jeremy Dossetter) - whose yahrzeit was this week (please remember him here);

Happy birthday shout-out to his dear mother Susan;
and Mazal tov to Yaakov Felson on becoming bar mitzvah. 

Announcement: To become a partner in the publication of groundbreaking new book, Body and Soul: A Torah Guide to Health, Fitness, and Longevity, Medically-Annotated, it is now possible to contribute a dedication in someone's honor or memory to be printed in the book, please send an email to dedications@jsli.org for instructions and may the merit of your contribution uplift them and the Jewish People and the world. Eight years in the making, this collaboration of Torah scholars, doctors and dietitians will, we hope, change the way we relate to our bodies and to food.

Try starting off the conversation with this couplet:

Who's your hero?
Whose hero are you?

I wonder how many people think about such questions. Or about this week's title question....

Why in the world are we here?
Surely not to live in pain and fear....

The question is arguably the fundamental problem driving the entire Torah.

It seems to me the Torah's answer to that question is: You're here to be a hero.

Like all great heroes, you only become a hero through trial and tribulation.

Of course, the tests often come when we're least expecting them. The surprise too is part of the test.

So here is a true story that happened to my friend the other day.

He was filling up at a service station near the highway. Two women approached him and told him that they were en route to the airport, but the person driving them had ditched them while they were using the ladies' room. He had driven off with their luggage. 

For your table: Put yourself in his shoes. What would you do?

Less dramatic versions of this encounter happen every day: a panhandler at the red light; a spouse asking for help; a child whining; a parent lecturing; any of the above nagging....

I'm guessing everyone at the table can come up with many better examples.

If you find yourself resisting playing the hero, just wanting to be left alone and not get involved, it's a sure sign you're being tested.

What about a test of your patience? Is that also a test of your heroism?

What about when you make a mistake and someone calls you on it - is that also a call to heroism?

Now we can bring it full circle:

Who's your hero?
Whose hero are you?


Shabbat Shalom


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Spinning Out of Control?

 The purpose of this blog is to add some serenity to the Shabbat Table. Please print and share...

Announcement: To become a partner in the publication of groundbreaking new book, Body and Soul: A Torah Guide to Health, Fitness, and Longevity, Medically-Annotated, it is now possible to contribute a dedication in someone's honor or memory to be printed in the book, please send an email to dedications@jsli.org for instructions and may the merit of your contribution uplift them and the Jewish People and the world. Eight years in the making, this collaboration of Torah scholars, doctors and dietitians will, we hope, change the way we relate to our bodies and to food.

A question for your table followed by a story followed by a question.

First question: Did you ever have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?

The story: Yesterday someone told me about his own terrible, horrible, very bad day. It included a mysterious health problem that seemed to come out of nowhere, a "worst, most turbulent airplane flight of my life", and a torrential rainstorm of Biblical volume.

After all of that, he finally found himself seated in the comfort and security of a Mercedes limo, on a mostly-empty freeway. The storm continued but the worst appeared to be over.

Suddenly, without warning, the car started to spin out of control on the freeway, ultimately crashing into the median. Thankfully, no one was injured.

Now if you click on the link in the second line above, and read the 5-star and then the 3-star (and lower) reviews, you'll see a strange phenomenon. Most readers love that book, but many are disappointed because it doesn't have a sugary happy ending. What do you think? Is that book a failure because "it doesn't resolve" (as one negative review put it)?

Or is it a success because "We can always go to bed, and try to have a better day, and make better choices, tomorrow"???

We know many people in a closed city or state (like California) who either have fled or planning to flee or fantasizing about moving to a city or state that is more open/safe/comfortable. 

Second question for your table: How much does our location have to do with having a great v. "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad" day?

Shabbat Shalom

and

Chag Sameach!


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Anger Management Clinic

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The purpose of this blog is to add some YK prep to the Shabbat Table. Please print and share...
Happy Anniversary to Kyle and Shelli and Happy Birthday shout-out to Anita! You are all inspirations!

Announcement: During these Days of Awe, when we are trying to elevate ourselves, one of the most basic ways to do so is to give extra tzedaka.  My new book, Body and Soul: A Torah Guide to Health, Fitness, and Longevity, Medically-Annotated is nearly complete and like most Jewish books, there are opportunities to help bring it to press (3 publishers have made offers, and now we need to raise certain publishing expenses). If you would like to pledge a dedication in someone's honor or memory to be printed in the book, please send an email to dedications@jsli.org for instructions and may the merit of your contribution uplift them and the Jewish People and the world. Eight years in the making, this collaboration of Torah scholars, doctors and dietitians will, we hope, change the way we relate to our bodies and to food. 

Question for your table:

Is Yom Kippur - just a couple days away - a(n):

A) Test
B) Ritual
C) Holy day
D) Opportunity
E) All of the above?


It seems to me that Yom Kippur is an opportunity to reach a new level of self mastery over:

- anger
- frustration
- worry
- anxiety
- laziness
- over-indulgence
- etc.

How so?

Eating is our most primal urge. Giving up food and water for 25 hours is a message to myself: "Hey body, I'm in control of you, you're not in control of me!"

That's a metaphor for any area of self-mastery.

If I know I have a bit of an anger problem, I can say, just like I'm giving up food and water for 25 hours, I'm going to give up anger for 25 hours. Or frustration, worry, anxiety etc.

Doesn't mean that I can maintain that abstinence for longer, but it's a chance to cleanse myself. 25 hours of abstinence from that trait that I know I should really conquer.

Then, when YK is over, maybe I'll be a little bit better at it in the long-run.

Question for your table: How can a person turn Yom Kippur clarity into long-term change?

(Hint: think 30-day plan)


Wishing you a happy - yes happy - Yom Kippur. Happy because you're going to cleanse yourself of that one trait that is most holding you back in life.

Shabbat Shalom

PS for a list of common negative traits for self-reflection, send me an email.
 

 

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