Speaking of Judgment....

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

May 31-June 1, 2024 • 25 Iyar 5784 • BeChukosai (Lev 26-27).

The goal of this blog is for a wiser Shabbat table.

In the spirit of Ben Zoma's four life-changing questions last week, here's another set of Talmudic questions: the six questions they ask you after you die.

People like to say that Judaism focuses more on this world than the next. Maybe that's exactly the point of this Talmudic teaching - to help us up our game in this world, in this short lifetime that we have on this planet.

Before reading the questions, try asking everyone at the table to guess what questions a person is asked as he or she arrives at the next world.

Here's the passage (Tractate Shabbat 31a):

Said Rava, at the time that a person is brought to Judgment, they say to him:

1. Were you 100 percent strictly honest in every business dealing?
2. Did you schedule time on your calendar for daily or weekly or at least monthly Torah study?
3. Did you get involved with the next generation (raising or educating children)?
4. Were you optimistic about humanity?
5. Did you study intelligently?
6. Did you study deeply? 

Each of these could be a stand-alone conversation topic in its own right.

But it seems to me that the order of Rava's questions is also instructive. 

The first and foremost question is how honest you were when it came to handling money. What does that say about a person?

Yet half or more of the questions are about pursuing or increasing wisdom. What does that say about a person?

What do you think?

Shabbat Shalom

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As always, this message can be read online at http://rabbiseinfeld.blogspot.com.
(A version of this message appeared on my Times of Israel blog.)

The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

Who Is Wise?

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

May 24-25, 2024 • 17 Iyar 5784 • Behar (Lev 25-26).

The goal of this blog is for a Shabbat table of wisdom, strength, wealth and honor.

Dovetailing on last week's wisdom theme...

First, try starting with this question for your table, On a scale of 1-10, how important is it to you personally to be or become wise, strong, rich or important (famous)? How important do you think these things are to most people?

After they answer, share this famous proverb from our ancient book of Avot:

Ben Zoma says: Who is wise? Who is strong? Who is rich? Who is important?

Second question for your table - What are the obvious man-on-the-street answer to those questions? What would you guess are Ben Zoma's answers?

Man-on-the-street:

Who is wise? Someone with a very long beard, or someone with many fancy letters after their name.

Who is strong? Someone who can do a lot of pushups. 

Who is rich? Someone with at least $1,000,000 in net assets.

Who is important? Someone whom people pay money to see, or who has a statue or building in their honor.

Ben Zoma:

Who is wise? Someone with the attitude, "I need to pay attention to everyone because everyone has something to teach me."

Who is strong? Someone with inner strength, who acts with self-control — not only in avoiding temptation but also in overcoming inertia or laziness and taking action when needed.

Who is rich? Someone who is able to focus on enjoying the present moment.

Who is important? Someone who treats everything in Creation as important.

Final question for the table: Is Ben Zoma suggesting that these definitions of the four traits are rare and hard to achieve, or does he mean that they are within anyone's grasp?


Shabbat Shalom

and happy Lag B'omer!

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Sage Advice or Common Sense?

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

May 17-18, 2024 • 10 Iyar 5784 • Emor (Lev 21-24).

The goal of this blog is to bring the Shabbat table up one notch.

Check out the Omer counter (and other timers) and other cool stuff on our newly revamped jsli.org.

 

Sage Advice or Common Sense?

Almost every day I hear someone express some variation of the desire to change.

 

"I really want to lose weight but I'm struggling."

"I know I should cut down on X (usually sugar or smoking) but I enjoy it too much." 

 

The masters of Mussar (Torah-guided self-improvement) observe that real - permanent - change is an enormous struggle. Yet it is possible for anyone.

 

In the Weight Watchers program, a reported 85-90 percent of participants have regained their weight after five years. That's an enormous failure rate.

 

But the good news is that ten to fifteen percent succeed.

 

What's their secret? Are they more determined? Do the 85-90 percent simply lack sufficient will power?

 

I suspect that determination is not the key factor. I suspect that those who succeed are following a wise path similar to what was articulated by the Chafetz Chaim (Rav Yisroel Meir Kagan) a century ago, addressing a smoker:

 

Over time, how much a person loses through this - the loss of physical health, the loss of money, the loss of mitzvos! So a person should consider the tremendous damage that it causes and fortify oneself against making it a habit. And if he has already made it a habit, he should cut back a little bit each day until after some time he will completely stop, which will be good for him presently and going forward. 

 

In other words, be sensible: take slow but steady steps, like the tortoise in Aesop's fable.

 

You want to reduce your sugar intake? Don't go cold-turkey. If you ordinarily put three spoonfuls in your coffee, try reducing it to 2.9. And a few days later, make it 2.8. And so on. If you ordinarily put a cup of sugar in your challah recipe, try 9/10 cup. And next week, make it 8/10. The same with unhealthy oil - try substituting 1/10 of your oil with healthy olive oil. Then the next week, make it 2/10.

 

This lesson of incremental change is appropriate at any time, but especially during the Sefirat HaOmer, when we are counting one day at a time toward Shavuot, one step at a time up that mountain.

 

Know that you can achieve your goals - but only if you take it one small step at a time. Don't try to go cold turkey or bite off more than you can chew or whatever metaphor you like - "Slow and steady wins the race."

 

(For additional wisdom on this theme, see Chapter 5 of Body & Soul.)

Question for your table: Would you call the Chafetz Chaim's advice "sage advice", or "common sense" (or both)?

Shabbat Shalom

(A version of this message appeared on my Times of Israel blog.)

Enjoyed this Table Talk? Vote with your fingers! Like it, tweet it,  email it....

  

The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

Mother of All Mitzvahs?

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

May 10-11, 2024 • 3 Iyar 5784 • Kedoshim (Lev 19-20).

The goal of this blog is get back to basics at the Shabbat table.
Dedicated to my dear mother, may she be always well!

Check out the Omer counter (and other timers) and other cool stuff on our newly revamped jsli.org.

You may have heard me say this before but it's worth saying again. Maybe even at your Shabbat table....

If you ask any card-carrying rabbi,

"What's the most important mitzvah in the Torah?"

- what's the expected answer?

Will it be the first of the 10 Commandments - that God is your god?

Will it be, Don't worship idols?

Will it be, Thou shalt pray every day?

This is a good litmus test to see if any rabbi is worthy of the title. Try it out on every rabbi you know. 

For any rabbi worthy of the title should answer with three words:

[Hebrew] V'ahavta l'rayacha kamocha.

[English] Love your neighbor.

Love your neighbor is the bedrock of all of Judaism. Everything else is commentary on that.

For many mitzvahs, it's obvious, right? Don't steal, don't murder. Even honoring your parents could be construed as a love-your-neighbor precept.

However (maybe this will stump your table): Aren't there many mitzvahs that have nothing to do with loving your neighbor? What about (for example) not eating shellfish - what does that have to do with loving your neighbor? What about eating matzah on Pesach - let's say someone has a Seder all alone - where's the "love your neighbor" in that?

Crazy rabbis? What do you think?


Shabbat Shalom


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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

Post-Pesach Blues?

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

May 2-3, 2024 • 26 Nissan 5784 • Acharei (Lev 16-18).

The goal of this blog is to lift the blues at the Shabbat table.
Dedicated to Lev Avraham ben Masha Dubba - may he have a speedy convalescence.

How did it go? Did you become the 5th Child?

As I said in my TorahAnytime class this week, if Passover doesn't change us - even a little - what's the point?

Or any holiday for that matter?

It's super hard not to comment on current events. But I know that you turn to this space for a BOFA (breath of fresh air) from current events.

But "the wise person is one who learns from everyone" (Pirkei Avos 4:1) . . .

So what can we learn from people who seem to love people whom we know to be evil?

Does loving an evil person make you evil, or just confused?

Try asking these questions at your table.

Now here's the zinger - Everyone thinks they're right... but how do we know we're right and they're wrong?


Shabbat Shalom

(Hint - try clicking the pic.)


Enjoyed this Table Talk? Vote with your fingers! Like it, tweet it,  email it....

As always, this message can be read online at http://rabbiseinfeld.blogspot.com.

The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.