Thanking Fast and Slow?

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

March 29-30, 2024 • 20 Adar 2 5784 • Tzav (Lev 6-8). 

blog goal of this email is to stimulate some gray matter at the Shabbat table.

If you're a long-time reader (and have a good memory), you may recall that last time I wrote about Daniel Kahneman z"l (who died this week) was five years ago. Never met him, but wish I had.

(Click that link for an interesting and uplifting obituary about his long life.)

Five years ago, the context was attending a public Bingo for the first time in my life.

I get Bingo - there is some (I stress some) skill involved - one has to concentrate and move quickly. 

But the lottery tickets they sell there in-between rounds are different. First of all, there were many sets of tickets with different names like "Pot of Gold" or "Money from Heaven," but they all had the same prizes ($1, $2, $5, $20, $200) and same odds. So why did some people buy some tickets and turn up their noses to others? 

I heard a lady asked, "Are they paying one or two jackpots?" - meaning, will the $200 go to one winner or be split among two winners?

The answer was the latter. So I asked her, "Was that the answer you wanted?"

"No."

She was only interested in playing for the $200 jackpot, not the $100 - even though it had better odds (let's say 1 in 50 as opposed to 1 in 100).

So this is a perfect Daniel Kahneman question for your table: For a $1 bet, would you rather play for a 50% chance of winning $100 or a 5% chance of winning $1,000?

What if the bet cost $5?

What if it cost $50?

It's obvious that most gamblers think with their gut, not their brain.

And that gut is so stimulated by the temptation of the Jackpot that they are willing to go out night after night and spend their few extra dollars for that tiny chance.

What's less obvious (but has been proven) is that we all do this kind of thinking every day.

In his book (linked above), Dr. Kahaneman shows many examples of how people make choices based on their irrational gut and not on their head.

• Would you rather have 5 minutes of excruciating pain or 5 years of low-level pain?

• When you remember that vacation 10 years ago, when that disaster happened, how much does that disaster loom in your mind versus the pleasant parts of the vacation?

• When you planned your wedding, how much time and money went into each detail? And which of those details do you actually remember today?

• The final word on this - and question for your table - is what matters more, the experience I'm having right now, or the memory it will create?

Most of us live for the future - we are planning and we are motivated because we picture ourselves headed toward some future outcome. Having such a vision can be motivational and satisfying. But an even higher level is living in the present, totally present in this moment.

How do you get there?

Start by finding excuses right and left to simply say, "Thank you." 

Thank about it. 


Shabbat Shalom

PS - Feeling lucky? Want to click that image?

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Blessing in Disguise?

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

March 22-23, 2024 • 13 Adar 2 5784 • Vayikra (Lev 1-5). 

The goal of this blog is to blur some boundaries at the Shabbat table.

First, I'm happy to report that last week's seeds  are doing well — 15 sprouted and sitting cosy by a sunny window.

Second, did you remember that tomorrow night and Sunday is.... ɯᴉɹnԀ? 

Question for your table: Why did I write that upside-down?

If that stumps everyone, try this one that I asked a number of people this week:

Do you relate to Purim more as a kids' holiday or an adult holiday?

It's the easiest holiday for kids – wear a costume and run around exchanging treats with your friends.

Similar to what I said last week about the joys of planting seeds, we adults often lose this Purim joy and don't know how to get it back.

No worries, it's easier than you'd think. Four suggestions:

1. Try reading the whole Megilla in English from start to finish without a break. Do this Saturday night or Sunday morning. This may be the first time in your life that you actually read the entire story as an adult, or the first time in many years.

2. Put together a nice modest package of ready-to-eat food to give on Sunday to a fellow Jewish person.

3. Give enough money to a poor person to buy 2 meals, or to a fund that gives out such gifts on Purim day.

4. On Sunday afternoon, have yourself a little festive meal with a couple glasses of wine, and think about the following radical thought:

Since Haman, no one has done so much for Jewish unity as Hamas. 
 
If you don't grok it, maybe have one more drink...


Shabbat Shalom and

Happy ɯᴉɹnԀ


Alexander Seinfeld

PS - Yes, the image is clickable, as usual....

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom. 

The Dirt on Seeds

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

March 15-16, 2024 • 6 Adar 2 5784 • Pekudei (Ex 38-40). 

The goal of this blog is to sprout delicious conversation at the Friday night dinner table.

Last week, I stirred up controversy.

This week, something I hope completely uncontroversial.

We went from snow flurries on Sunday to 70°+ the rest of the week.

Is anyone not OK with that?

Seems like time to get those tomatoes going.

Did you ever do the germinate-a-seed thing when they were a child?

Did you ever try it as an adult?

If you stop to think about it, it's the most incredible thing, that this tiny little piece of almost nothingness can sit dry in a packet for years and do nothing. But put it in some soil with a few drops of water and a lot of warmth and it's like booting a computer with a built-in ROM.

First, the seed begins to disintegrate, and if you were watching it you'd think it's becoming compost. But then its code causes it to shoot out a root in one direction and a green stem in the other, then leaves, then more leaves, and eventually an entire plant or even an entire tree with fruit etc.

Reading about is like reading about a Mozart minuet:

It starts on a major 3rd to G  so you instantly know what key you are in.  Then there are the two a and b 5 note patterns that are just stepwise sequences in the scale.

Then there are some 3 note falling patterns (noted 1 and 2) that make it feel like it is 2/4 time. The fall is mirrored in the bass (3). Also there is a C# added. This should instantly tell you that it is changing key for three reasons. a) C# is not in the key of G. b) It is not being used just as a passing note. c) It occurs twice more in the next bar in more than one voice.

When a note like this occurs, it is usually a 'leading note' to the key it is modulating to. In this case D. this is confirmed by a V-I cadence in bar 6 of A D repeated again across bar 7 and 8 (noted at points 5 and 6 in my notes)

Then onto the second section.  It starts of strange with a G# and E in the bass followed by an F natural. So it's definitely not G or D anymore. The G# makes me think A (because it is the leading note of A) but the following scale pattern has all natural notes which might make it A minor. Not sure, might need some help on that.

From there, it goes back into standard G with the return of F# and D natural. Actually the next falling scale pattern across bar 11 and 12 finished on a G major.

The C in the bass at bar 13 is a IV into another double cadence (noted 7 and 8) which this time is a V-I. It repeats the pattern of the previous double cadence at the end of the first section. The first cadence is contained within a bar and the second happens across two. The appearance of the leading note of G (f#) in the cadence solidifies the end and resolves itself nicely. (source)

Now try experiencing it.

For years I was a failed seed sprouter, but finally an elderly neighbor learned me how to do it. "Ignore the planting-depth info on the packet," she said. "Most seeds don't sprout because they're too deep. Just a tiny bit of soil on the top is all you need."

That's life-changing knowledge.

The Talmud uses this process as a metaphor:

Tzedakah (giving charity) is planting, Torah is watering, Chesed is harvesting.

Question for your table: In that metaphor, are we the farmer or the soil?

It seems to me we're obviously the soil.

Which means that - per my elderly neighbor:

Like the seed, the Tzedakah need not be so deep - in fact, it should be near the surface - meaning, don't get caught (like I was yesterday) without cash in your pocket to give someone who asks.

Like watering a plant - the Torah does need to go deep - it needs to get to the roots, and as the plant grows taller the water needs to go deeper.

And the measure of a successful harvest is the amount and quality of Chesed that flows from a person. 

Question for your table - does this imply that Torah is necessary in order to do Chesed?

What do you think?


Shabbat Shalom,

Alexander Seinfeld

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When Well Done is Rare?

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

March 8-9, 2024 • 29 Adar 1 5784 • Vayakel (Ex 34-36). 

The goal of this blog is an A for effort at the Shabbat table ... please print & share.

Here's the situation:

Your child studies for a test.

She pull out all stops and studies for the test.

(This isn't cramming - this is at the end of a week of diligent attendance and note-taking.)

She takes the test.

Afterwards she says, "I feel pretty good about it. I think I knew most of the answers."

The next day the teacher returns the test. To her great disappointment, your child received a much lower score than she'd expected.

She says to you, "Why should I even try?"

It says in Pirkei Avot, "According to the effort is the reward."

But that's not usually true, is it?

What do you think?


Shabbat Shalom,

Alexander Seinfeld

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.