Bumps in the Road?

The purpose of this email is to ruffle some feathers at the Shabbat table... Please share...
Happy Birthday shout-out to Suzanne in SF . . . wishing you great health and even greater wisdom.

Thank you for all the kind words in response to last week's mazal tov.

That message was about sometimes taking the long road.

On that theme, here's a true story that I witnessed this week, followed by a question for your table.

There is a certain man I know who attends the same little shul every morning. He's been going there for years. Let's call him Shlomo.

You know how you get when you do the same thing for years. You have your habits.

One of his habits is to sit in the same seat. Now, for years Shlomo could get to his seat without bothering anyone. However, about a year ago, the shul underwent certain renovations requiring Shlomo to change the route to his seat.

Post-renovations, Shlomo must choose:

Path A takes him down a certain aisle.

The problem with Path A is that another man, Moshe, likes to stand partially in that aisle. Moshe doesn't block it completely, maybe only halfway. But it's enough that Shlomo has to turn sideways to get by.

Path B is the same distance, but requires him to pass behind the chazan, where there really is no space, so he must squeeze to get by.

For all these months, Shlomo has been choosing Path A without incident.

However, yesterday he must have brushed too close to Moshe, at the end of the service, Moshe came up to him angrily accusing him of being rude for "shoving" him every time he passes by.

Shlomo tried to appease Moshe, apologized and asked him if he wouldn't mind not standing in the aisle, but it didn't seem to help. Moshe took the suggestion very poorly that his own behavior may have contributed to the accidental bodily contact.

Questions for your table: Did Moshe have just cause to get angry? Does Shlomo have a good point, that physical contact is inevitable when someone partially blocks the aisle? Should Shlomo start using Path B in order to avoid conflict? 


Shabbat Shalom

PS - Of course the above pic is clickable...

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The Shortest Distance

The purpose of this blog is to take the scenic route at the Shabbat table... Please share...

Mazal tov to Moshe Yitzchak and Goldy (Seinfeld) Steiner on their wedding this week. 

For the above-mentioned nuptials, my sister flew in and out of Washington Dulles Airport, which is southwest of Baltimore.

The shortest drive takes you down I-95 then around the Washington Beltway to Virginia, then due west.

After dropping them off, we asked Waze to get us home and it took us 20 miles further west, then north through rolling hills of gorgeous wintertime Virginia and Maryland farmland, before circling us back eastward towards Baltimore.
Waze didn't tell us how how much time we saved (it should!), avoiding commuter traffic. It could have been thirty minutes faster, maybe it was only five minutes faster. Maybe it was even slower. 

I don't really care because it was a most pleasant drive!

Moral of the story: the shortest distance between two points is not always the most enjoyable distance.

 Moral of the story: the shortest distance between two points is not always a straight line.

About 21 years ago, in Misgav Ladach Hospital, Jerusalem, 2 babies were born a mere 36 days apart.

Both families eventually left Israel, moving several times around North America before landing in Baltimore, a mere mile apart.

Both children grew up happy, energetic, kind... and feeling a pull to return to Israel.

Moral of the story: the shortest distance is not always a straight line.

When wishing someone success in getting married or having a baby, there is a custom to say, "B'shah tovah" - meaning, "May it happen at the right time."

Question for your table - do you believe in fate, luck, neither, or both?


Shabbat Shalom

PS - Yes, the pic above is clickable...

I'm guessing that the readers of this email collectively spend at least $100,000 a year on Amazon. With one easy trick, Amazon will turn that shopping into a $500 donation to JSLI, helping keep our computers humming and programs running. Simply use Amazon Smile, and designate Jewish Spiritual Literacy as your charity — for the same cost to you.

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Does God Love Scientists?

The purpose of this blog is to increase endearment at the Shabbat table... Please share...
Wishing Malka bas Sima a speedy and complete convalescence.

Silly question, right?

Of course God doesn't love scientists, because they _______.

Or maybe God does love scientists, because they ________.

Question for your table - what do you think?

Now here's a more difficult question:

Who's the most famous scientist in the Torah?

I'll give you a hint:

Start by defining "scientist".

We don't see a true scientific method in the Torah (although it does appear in the Talmud).

What we do see in the Torah (in this week's portion) is someone who sees a phenomenon and goes out of his way to study it, to try to understand it.

And that episode is one of only 3 times in the Torah when God calls someone by a term of endearment.

Figure out where it is yet?

Here's another hint.

Question for your table - based on this definition, are you a scientist?


Shabbat Shalom

PS - Yes, the heart above is clickable...

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Envy Zero

The purpose of this blog is to make everyone a star at the Shabbat table... Please share...
Happy Birthday to Marc in MV and to our dear daughter Devorah.

How did your family enjoy last week's 2020 jokes?

This week we turn more serious again.

Many families across the Jewish spectrum practice the beautiful custom of blessing their children Friday night. 

Girls get the blessing, "May God make you like Sarah, Rivka (Rebecca), Rachel and Leah.

Four of the greatest; fair enough.

But boys get the blessing, "May God make you like Ephrayim and Menasheh."

Not like Avraham, Yizchak, or Yaakov. Not like Yoseph or Moshe or Aharon nor even like King David.

Rather, be like Ephraim and Menashe, the two sons of Yoseph, who were famous for ______?

Try using that as your first question for the table this week.

If everyone responds with a bewildered stare, you can say, "You're all right! Ephraim and Menashe didn't do anything worthy of inclusion in the Torah!"

So what's the point of the blessing?

Because unlike so many boys (ahem), they lived with zero envy.

Second question for your table: How do you raise kids like that?

How appropriate that this week's two birthdays are two individuals who don't need it. Marc in MV and our daughter Devorah are way beyond petty envy or rivalry. They are both genuinely happy for the success of others - even their sisters.

Last week I also mentioned the Siyum HaShas in cities around the world.

The UK version occurred this week in Wembley Arena (not to be confused with Wembley Stadium).

After the event, the following letter was sent:

+ + + +

Dear Siyum Team

It is 2am as I write this to you having just got home after the Siyum.

On behalf of all the team I must express our deepest pride and pleasure at being given the opportunity to host the Siyum event.

When we were first approached in July by the committee we had absolutely no idea what type of event this was nor what to expect in terms of the programme or what was actually going to happen.

Working closely with the team we began to gain an understanding, and as the date approached, I briefed our internal staff as to the nature of the event. However nothing could really have prepared us for what happened.

6,748 tickets were scanned at the door, aside form the top table Rabbi's who entered via the VIP entrance and of course all your volunteers and crew. There are are number of points that have blown us away:

1. We have a security cupboard in which we allow guests to deposit anything deemed dangerous or inappropriate. At an event this size we would normally have anything between 700-1,000 items. Tonight we held nothing.
2. There was not a single incident of drunkenness, boisterous or rowdy behaviour. Not a single one. I have been at the Arena for 28 months and accommodated over 300 events in that time. Never have we had no incidents.
3. All the team were blown away by the amount of thank you's that we received at the end of the evening. I actually thought everyone had been instructed to do this!

I am devastated that Siyum only takes place once every seven years. This event was a delight for all of us.

Becky S_____
Operations Manager

+ + + +

Question for your table - where did that come from?


Shabbat Shalom


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No 20/20 Jokes Please!

The purpose of this email is to foster some foresight at the Shabbat table... Please share...

Okay, maybe just one joke:

I hate it when people ask me what are my goals this year.
It's not like I have 2020 vision.

Okay, maybe just one more

What did the Australian optometrist say to the client with 20/20 vision?
Good eye, Mate!

I just wanted to draw everyone's attention to Australia since the American media seem to have other priorities....

1. Click here. 
2. Check all four hotspot boxes on the upper left.
3. Shudder.

In case you want to email or social-mediaize anyone in Australia, you might want to orient it ʇᴉ pɐǝɹ uɐɔ ʎǝɥʇ os.

(Australians reportedly love it when people do this.)

The other breaking news of 2020 is a major Jewish event this week in Jewish communities around the world, which one reporter called the "world's largest book club."

That's cute but it isn't the right metaphor.

In some venues, such as Meadlowlands in New Jersey, it occurred two days ago. Elsewhere, it will occur tomorrow afternoon or evening.

I refer, of course, to the 13th Siyum HaShas, celebrated by hundreds of thousands of Jewish people around the world.

That means that people who learn Talmud with the page-a-day method ("Daf Yomi") complete the entire Talmud in about seven-and-a-half years, celebrated with a big party.

The Talmud is a big intellectual challenge, even in translation. It requires doing the hardest of hard things to do - that is, to think.

   Most people will go to any manner of trouble to avoid the effort of thinking. – T. Jefferson

In that sense, calling it a book club is to cheapen it. It's more akin to a Mensa club or a fellowship.

Except that there are no entrance exams, no intelligence tests. The only requirement is effort.

   Most people would rather die than think — and most do. – B. Russell

First question for your table: Is thinking really the hardest thing for a person to do?

That said, modern translations and technologies have made it accessible to almost anyone. You can listen to Daf Yomi classes on the phone or Internet, in numerous languages. There's the 60-minute version, the 45-minute version, the 30 minute version. There's even an excellent 5-minute summary.

The cycle restarts this Sunday, a great time to begin for anyone with at least five minutes a day to spare.

(Anyone looking for suggestions on how to get started should just shoot me a reply.)

The great beauty of Daf Yomi is that it unifies across space and time. It's uplifting to learn the Daf and know that hundreds of thousands of others are learning the same page that day.

The Talmud has been one of the four keys to our survival through so many exiles and holocausts. The more of us learning it, the more adversity we can withstand.

Second question for your table: what are the other three keys?


Shabbat Shalom


PS - For a taste of Talmud, try clicking on that image above.

PPS. Did you know that when you shop on Amazon, you can ask them to donate a % of your purchase? Simply use Amazon Smile, and designate Jewish Spiritual Literacy as your charity — for the same cost to you.

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