The answer, according to the Rambam, is.... do more. If you are ordinarily not particularly friendly.... try to be friendly.
If you are ordinarily friendly.... be more friendly.
If you ordinarily are not particularly careful about what you say.... be careful.
If you ordinarily are careful about what you say.... be more careful.
If you ordinarily don't give tzedakah generously.... give tzedakah generously.
And if you are ordinarily generous.... now be more generous.
Once or twice a year I remind you that this blog is a project of a
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A final question for your table:
If a person is normally a tzaddik - is it possible for them to become a greatertzaddik?
We have one week to practice being a greater tzaddik until the big soul-scrub next Tuesday night.
Wishing you a Shabbat Shalom and a happy Yom Kippur.
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."(Churchill)
The goal of this blog is to enhance reality at the Shabbat table.... In memory of my father - Dovid ben Eliezer - who's 11th yahrzeit will be Monday, August 1.
They say the following riddle was really said by Avraham Lincoln:
Suppose you call a sheep's tail a leg - how many legs does it have?
The answer, of course, is four.
Calling a tail a "leg" does not make it a leg.
Or does it?
Lincoln reminds me of my father (tall, beard, bow-tie, wry humor, lawyer)....
And my father reminds me of his generosity.
And generosity reminds me of this true story with a moral dilemma - how would you (and the folks at your table) answer it?
Mordechai
(not his real name) was a very wealthy philanthropist. One day Shlomo, a
needy member of the community came to him to ask for his help with a
pressing family matter that required a substantial financial obligation.
Mordechai was very distracted by an overload of work but had sympathy
on Shlomo and gave him a check with a generous donation. Shlomo left
thanking Mordechai profusely for his generosity.
Some time later Shlomo went to deposit the check. He then saw the problem: the numeric box had the amount $300. But the written amount said “three thousand dollars”.
Shlomo assumed that the latter was the correct amount (remember,
Mordechai was very wealthy and very generous), and attempted to deposit
$3,000. The bank teller didn't know what to do and called the bank
manager. The bank manager happened to know Mordechai. She called him up
to ask him which amount he intended to give to Shlomo. “Is it $300 or
$3,000? You can decide now, how much do you want to give, sir," the
manager told him.
Mordechai
rememebered giving Shlomo the check, but couldn’t recall which amount
he had wanted to give. It was clear that he made an error, but he
couldn’t remember if his error was that he left out a 0 in 3,000, or
wrote the word thousand instead of hundred. Moreover, in his haste he
had neglected to write it in his check ledger. That day Mordechai's cash
flow happened to be slightly more limited, and he preferred to give
$300, but he didn’t want to renege on his commitment if he meant to
donate $3,000. Mordechai wondered if he is he obligated to give the
larger number.
The goal of this blog is to add something cool your Friday night dinner. Please print and share.
This week's question for your table is:
What's your opinion of the ice bucket challenge?
More specifically:
1. Would you do it?
2. Who should I do it?
Yesterday I was privy to a conversation where a group of rabbis were
debating whether or not it was an undignified activity for a rabbi to
participate in.
I frankly didn't know enough about the project to respond. I have not
paid attention, not seen any videos, ignored every single tweet and post
about it.
(And, interestingly, that Forbes article led me to this one that anyone out there trying to raise money may find useful.)
Regarding the dignity issue, my own perception is that a rabbi's
participation is innocuous and would be regarded as "in good fun" and
not undignified. I assume and hope that the rabbi would preface his
video with a dvar Torah along the lines of:
"We should all be giving 10 percent of our income with or without this
ice bucket challenge and if one person here today makes such a
commitment, it will be worth every shiver. I personally long for the day
when human beings are so focused on taking care of each other that we
no longer need gimmicks to get people to give. But in the meantime, I'll
do whatever it takes to help people and I hope you will too!"
It seems to me that the takeaways here are:
1. People will participate in something outside their comfort zone if
you call it a "challenge" yet make it super easy to succeed and even fun
and get them on video having fun, and that video has to be really
really short.
2. People will give more money when the message is really simple and easy to get: "stop this terrible disease"
3. People like cold stuff when the weather is warm
That, as my grandfather z'l would have said, is my 2-bits.
For your table: What are your 2-bits?
Shabbat Shalom
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At some point during the Shabbat meal, pour everyone their favorite beverage for a l'chaim.
But
ask them not to drink until after you finish the story. Make this a
ritual every Friday night, and your family will look forward to it.
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L’Chaim Story Parshat Re'eh
“For Whose Benefit?”
Rabbi Shmelke of Nikolsburg was very active in the mitzvah of tzedakah.
Not only did he give of his own meager salary, he also took the trouble
to collect money from others, urging them to give according to their
ability. In every way he could, he gathered a great deal of money for
charity.
As Pesach is an expensive holiday, he made an extra effort at that time of year to collect.
He
once came to a wealthy man’s house for this purpose. The man welcomed
him with honor and offered drinks and cakes. Rabbi Shmelke asked for a
large donation for tzedaka, but the man said that his financial
situation was not as good as it had once been and he was losing money.
Therefore, he said, he was unable to give a large amount and wished to
donate a small one instead.
But the Rabbi refused to take this small amount from him. He got up to go!
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For copyright reasons, the rest of the story may not be displayed here, but we'll be happy to send it along, just send an email.
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Question for your table... What do you say - Does tzedakah benefit the giver more than the receiver?
Shabbat Shalom
PS - For guidelines on giving tzedakah, including prioritizing, click here.
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The goal of Table talk is to turn the Friday night dinner table into Shabbat experience. Please print and share.
20 Sandy Hook Teddy Bears
Someone asked me the other day if I was going to write about Sandy Hook Elementary School.
To be honest, I wasn’t.
What more can I offer for your table talk that hasn’t already been offered?
Half of the victims have yet to be buried; emotions are too raw. Words of comfort are what are needed.
There are no words. Maybe hugs.
But he insisted that you, dear reader, would want a table talk on this theme.
As I have noted in the wake of other calamities like the earthquakes in China, Haiti, and Japan, the daily level of human suffering in the world is high.
Since last Friday’s massacre, approximately 50 American children were killed with handguns.
Vibrant young Americans continue to return in body bags from Afghanistan, more than one per day,
yet their photos never appear on the first page of the newspaper. Most
of them don’t even appear on any page of the newspaper. (If you'd like
to do the media's job and know their names, bookmark this page. If you want to gaze into their eyes, click here.)
American
bombs – sent with your dollar and by your government – accidentally
kill and maim thousands of women, children and other innocents in
Afghanistan, but we don’t see their pix or hear their names on NPR. Here's a site that tries to humanize this tragedy.
Yet
unlike these daily tragedies, our collective grief for the angels of
Sandy Hook reached such a level that Newtown had to open a special
branch of the post office to handle the influx of care packages.
We’ve
got big problems, but together, we have the wealth and knowledge to end
hunger, eradicate many diseases and reduce violence.
But our wealth and knowledge has to be mobilized. Otherwise we’re back to auto-pilot.
So here are three questions for your Shabbat table… and I’ll venture one suggestion below.
Q1 – Why wasn’t the Batman massacre enough to get us moving?
Q2 – Do you think Newtown might be the same – all too soon forgotten?
Q3
– If you were personally moved to action by Sandy Hook, what would it
take to get you to stay awake and not slip back into business-as-usual?
Jewishly,
there is simply ethic that – should you choose to adopt it – will
guarantee that you will put your money where your mouth is.
The
ethic is – if you are really serious about doing something to help
repair the world – right here and now make one commitment.
Commit - out loud - to give X percent of your net income for the rest of your life to worthy causes.
10-20 percent is the recommended range, but if that's above your comfort level, start with less. But make that commitment in this rare moment of clarify.
It’s hard to do, right?!!!
But if you will just do it, you might just find that not only will you heal the world, you’ll heal yourself.
Teach this to the kids: When you get 10 bucks, a dollar goes to the charity of your choice.
As
I wrote in May, 2008, I’ve never met someone who didn’t want to leave
the world better off than we found it. Anyone who has ever loved a child
wants to. So here's a fourth and hopefully uplifting question for your table:
Is life on earth getting worse, or is the world in balance getting better?
Not that he gave anonymously, only that he focused on the success of the project, not wanting an ounce of the spotlight for himself. He never put his name on a building or project.
So what did it take for him to become the greatest philanthropist?
The following story perhaps gives us a clue:
Once upon a time, several years ago, a young Jewish businessman asked the philanthropist if he would be willing to meet with a group of young professionals to advise them on "how to get involved in helping the community".
"I don't believe there is such a group," he retorted.
"No, there really is," said the young man.
"I don't believe it, but if you insist, have them come here tomorrow morning."
"Umm...they have all just begun new jobs, would it be OK if we make it in one week?"
"Fine."
A week later, they show up and Mr. Philanthropist tells them, "When I was asked to meet with a group of young men who want to become activists for the Jewish community, I didn't believe that there were such men. And now that you're all here, I still don't believe it. Do you know what it means to be an activist? I'll tell you what it means. When I was your age, I bought a train ticket to Washington. I knocked on the door of every single senator. I had the door slammed in my face dozens of times. Finally, one was willing to talk to me.
"I didn't wait for someone to help me become an activist. I didn't wait for someone to tell me what to do. I went out and did it. If you're serious, you don't need me or my advice."
The philanthropist's name was Zev Wolfson.
He was Israel's biggest advocate before there was AIPAC. Through tireless effort, he had the ear of senators and congressmen, members of Kenesset and many others.
One of many anecdotes told:
During the first Gulf War, Wolfson invited Senator Inouye out on his boat, which he used almost exclusively for entertaining politicians or officials he felt it important to impress. He asked Senator Inouye if there was not anything in the American arsenal to protect Israel from the Iraqi Scud missiles. The senator told him about the Patriot missile batteries. If so, Wolfson asked, why hadn’t the United States supplied Israel with the Patriots?
Senator Inouye replied that Israel must not have sought them. Zev immediately got on the yacht’s phone and called then-defense minister Yitzchak Rabin to relay the message. The next day’s New York Times headline read, “US to supply Patriots to Israel.” The last paragraph explained that the decision had been taken after a meeting between “US officials and Jewish leaders.”
He wielded similar influence in the power centers of Israel and even France. Senator Trent Lott was of the opinion that Wolfson's success at lobbying came from his pure, selfless passion, never seeking anything for himself. While he did help politicians raise funds, he was not a mega-donor to their campaigns. He did phone them up late at night and early in the morning. He shunned honor and chased results.
He built or persuaded others to build Jewish schools all over the world, including North and South America, Israel, France and the FSU.
Yet he despite his yacht and prime real estate in lower Manhattan, he personally lived simply, with a "child-friendly" home for his many children and grandchildren, some of whom learned from friends that their own family was wealthy.
Think of the walk-of-shame past the first class seats boarding an airplane, which the average person endures because we know that one day we'll surely be able to fly first class too. "The poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires" (Steinbeck). Wolfson flew economy because First Class was an unnecessary luxury to him. His wealth was for public service, not for indulgence.
I haven't told you the half of the amazing things Zev Wolfson accomplished for the Jewish People and the world. Yet he always said, "There's nothing special about me. If I could do it, so could you." Something to contemplate approaching Rosh Hashana?
Once again, the calendar comes back to Purim, next Monday night.
You know what that means, right....? (It means Passover is only a month away....)
Question for your table: What’s the difference between Purim and Halloween?
Answer:
- On Halloween, people put costumes on their kids and take them to people’s homes to ask for candy. - On Purim we put costumes on our kids and take them to people’s home to give them tasty food baskets.
Think about it.
Last year, many Table Talk readers responded to my call for Purim baskets to Jewish soldiers in Iraq and elsewhere.
This year, I don’t have an updated list.
But I do have an easy way to create a lot of simcha: Yad Eliezer.
Maimonides opines that one should spend more on gifts to the poor than on one’s own Purim celebration, because giving gifts to the poor creates the most happiness.
The second best way to create happiness: go to a local Purim party. Don’t know where to go? Send me an email.
The third best way to create happiness: watch the videos that I painstakingly gather for your enjoyment.
If you didn’t take the 3 minutes to watch one of last week’s vids, they are perma-linked here.
If you want some happy new stuff for you and the kids, watch these:
PS - Want to make your Table Talk rabbi happy? Share this blog to someone who might enjoy it. Want to be added or removed from the email version? Send an email with SUBSCRIBE or UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject. The mailing list is private and is never shared.
Question: What can you do in ten minutes to have the biggest impact on your Yom Kippur tomorrow?
A. Examine your past and take responsibility for your mistakes B. Introspect and/or pray C. Give tzedaka E. All of the above F. None of the above
It seems to me that a lot of people are pretty good at #1 and #2 but we are collectively falling short on #3. This past year you were given 10 percent more net income than you need for yourself in order to enable you to give to others. Have you given them their due or are you spending it on yourself?
If you have ten minutes, please try these three steps to a home-run Yom Kippur.
1. Watch this short clip:
2. Ponder these stats:
Some 1.6 million Israelis lived under the poverty line in 2006, according to a report released on Tuesday by the National Insurance Institute...the percentage of children who suffered from poverty rose from 35.2% to 35.8%...According to the report, an estimated 404,000 families - 1.65 million people and 796,000 children - lived under the poverty line. -- THE JERUSALEM POST Sep. 4, 2007
3. Give generously:
There are many good organizations helping the poor. I have chosen a couple to promote that do not carry any overhead. They are run by volunteers and every penny you give goes to the needy. Remember that for Israeli children and families, Sukkot (next week) is analagous to Thanksgiving-Xmas here: it’s a festive time and those in poverty can feel particularly left out.
From their website: Small family - $180, Medium family - $360, Large family - $ 540 6 small families - $ 1080, 4 medium families - $ 1440 5 medium families - $ 1800, 4 large families - $ 2160. Any amount will help. What We Do: * To each family we give cash coupons that are redeemable at one of 2 large full-service supermarkets. * They can use these coupons to buy food and other such items only from these stores. * The stores give us a discount of 7 1/2% to 10%, therefore making the donor's dollar that much more helpful. * The stores will not give change, only credit for another purchase. Checks and Balances * Each Coupon has a serial number and expiration date. * After the expiration date, we collect and collate all coupons according to serial number to check if the coupons were redeemed. If not then we contact that family to find out the reason. Key Points * We offer the coupons only to those in grave need. * Coupons can only be used at these stores, and are non-transferable. * Coupons can not be exchanged for cash- to make sure they're used the right way. * Nobody knocks on our door. The Individuals responsible for determining who will receive assistance - and how much assistance - are kept anonymous. In other words, the families do not come to us- we go to them. * Collectively the 3 Rabbis on the board know most of the families personally, and the ones we don't know, we inquire about.
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After you do this, you will be almost ready for Yom Kippur. Make a big festive meal Friday afternoon, eat the kinds of foods that make it easy to fast – not too spicy, no alcohol. You will be hungry for most of Saturday, but then by about 5:00 Saturday afternoon, you’ll get beyond the hunger – you will transcend the hunger, and thereby transcend your body. That’s when you’ll be ready to really connect to #1 and #2 on the list above.
Please save this info for future reference.
Wishing you and yours a gut yontiv.
Einstein quote of the week: "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - Albert Einstein
Speaking schedule: September 20 – Beverly Hills, private home (“The Happiest Yom Kippur of Your Life”, with Helkeinu) September 21-22 – Yom Kippur – The Helkeinu program • I will be running workshops throughout the day September 27-Oct 4 – Sukkot – if you are in town, please join us in our Sukka. Good time guaranteed. October 15 – Burlingame, Calif., Peninsula Temple Sholom, “The Art of Amazement” October 16 – Mill Valley October 17-18 – Los Angeles
(For details, send an email)
Yiddish of the week: Gut yontiv – Happy Holiday (chag sameach)
Yiddish review - how many do you know? anee — poor person koptsen — panhandler ballaboss — homeowner; layman nu — various meanings (see archives) mishpocha — family mameh — mother tateh — father mazal – (MAH-z’l) luck or fortune, as in, “It was good mazal that....” beshert – (b’shairt) - meant to be, as in “It was beshert that...” mine eltern – my parents mine lair-er – my teacher hamantashen – Haman-pockets zeigezunt – all the best (said upon parting) kesher - connection Ikh volt veln a kave, zayt azoy gut. - I'd like a coffee, please. ...kave mit shmant. – ...a coffee with cream. ...kave mit milkh. – ...a coffee with milk. ...kave mit tsuker. - ...a coffee with sugar. Di Fir Kashes - The Four Questions Oy vey! - Good grief! mensch — a decent person rachmanos — mercy neshoma (neh-SHOH-ma) — soul minig — custom, as in, "Why do you do that?" "It's my minig!" Gavaltig — wonderful Oy gavalt — how wonderful (sarcastic) Azoy gait es! — That’s how it goes! Shabbos — Cessation; stopping; day of stopping; weekly sabbatical experience "Gut Shabbos" — "Enjoy your weekly sabbatical experience" Neshoma — Soul meshugass — insanity meshuganeh — insane kyna hara — no evil eye shvitz — sweat shanda — shame Lechayim! — Cheers! Pinteleh Yid — the Jewish feeling in the heart of every Jew Zreezus — zeal Mkohm — place (pl. mkohmas) mamalashen — mother tongue bentch — make a bracha bashert – meant to be, pre-destined, as in, “He’s my bashert” or “It was bashert that...” kvetch — complain kvell — burst with pride hishtadlus — effort, due diligence; as in, “Do your hishtadlus and let Hashem worry about it.” Yiddishe kopf — Jewish knowledge and perspective (lit., Jewish head) Gut yahr! – Happy New Year!
Here's a puzzler for your Friday night dinner table:
This week's question for your table is:
PS - Yes - it is still possible to subscribe to our new 
As presented 
As presented 
