Blessing in Disguise?

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

March 22-23, 2024 • 13 Adar 2 5784 • Vayikra (Lev 1-5). 

The goal of this blog is to blur some boundaries at the Shabbat table.

First, I'm happy to report that last week's seeds  are doing well — 15 sprouted and sitting cosy by a sunny window.

Second, did you remember that tomorrow night and Sunday is.... ɯᴉɹnԀ? 

Question for your table: Why did I write that upside-down?

If that stumps everyone, try this one that I asked a number of people this week:

Do you relate to Purim more as a kids' holiday or an adult holiday?

It's the easiest holiday for kids – wear a costume and run around exchanging treats with your friends.

Similar to what I said last week about the joys of planting seeds, we adults often lose this Purim joy and don't know how to get it back.

No worries, it's easier than you'd think. Four suggestions:

1. Try reading the whole Megilla in English from start to finish without a break. Do this Saturday night or Sunday morning. This may be the first time in your life that you actually read the entire story as an adult, or the first time in many years.

2. Put together a nice modest package of ready-to-eat food to give on Sunday to a fellow Jewish person.

3. Give enough money to a poor person to buy 2 meals, or to a fund that gives out such gifts on Purim day.

4. On Sunday afternoon, have yourself a little festive meal with a couple glasses of wine, and think about the following radical thought:

Since Haman, no one has done so much for Jewish unity as Hamas. 
 
If you don't grok it, maybe have one more drink...


Shabbat Shalom and

Happy ɯᴉɹnԀ


Alexander Seinfeld

PS - Yes, the image is clickable, as usual....

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When the World Wears a Mask

The purpose of this blog is to reveal something hidden at the Shabbat table... Please share.

(Note - this post was written and emailed on Friday March 6 but somehow the blog version didn't get published on time.)

In case you didn't notice it, Purim is nearly upon us.

How could you not notice it? Everywhere you look, it seems that the whole world is getting into the Purim spirit.

All the images you see now from Chile to China, Japan, India, Italy, Russia, Arabia - everyone's wearing masks! How is it that even our sworn enemies are getting into the Purim spirit?

Some countries are even adding it to their money!!!!

When all the world's wearing a mask
You might as well go ahead and ask:
If all the world's a stage,
As Bill Shakespeare mused,
Where, then, is the script-writer, set-designer and director,
And why are the actors so confused?

Three questions for your table:

What are the chances that we're living in a virtual reality simulation?
If we are living in a virtual reality, is a virus a software bug?
If it were possible to find out/prove it, would you want to know?


Shabbat Shalom and

Happy Purim!

PS - Do it, do it....click the pic...

PPS - Who are you calling a fraidy-cat?

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Happy Windsday (?)

The purpose of this email is to turn things upside-down at the Shabbat table. Please print and share (+ like it, tweet it, forward).

You may have heard about these tremendous winds on the East Coast today.

Major trees down. Power flickering.

This is a classic case of forest v. trees.

If there's a flood, some people say, "Woe is me!"

Others react, "What a great opportunity to replace that floor!"

When the power goes out in the middle of your work, some people say, "Oy, how am I going to work?"

Others say, "What a great opportunity to take a break!"

Question 1 for your table: When the wind is strong enough to blow trees down, what do you say?

Question 2 for your table: What's your favorite optimist quote?

(Here is one of mine: "You can't make an omeletet without breaking eggs.")


Shabbat Shalom


PS - Some people make a bracha on strong winds - can you guess which one?

 

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The Q U Thought U Knew

The purpose of this blog is to turn things over at the Shabbat table. Please print and share (+ like it, tweet it, forward).
 

Remember last week's bad dad joke, about the fish with no eyes?

The whole idea was that we're now in Purim season, all the way through next week.

See that crown over there on the left?

If you don't relate very much to Purim, that crown is for you.

Because hidden in that crown you will find a link to a book that will as sure as eggs is eggs change your understanding of Purim from a romantic story into a most profound tale of Jewish history, purpose and being.

And like all great Jewish books, it leaves questions unanswered. Much to think about.

In the meantime, here's a question for your table:

What is one thing about the Purim story that never made sense to you?

Here's a quick review of the story..... Here's a quicker video review.

And if you have headspace to learn just one new thing about Purim this year, please watch this (45 min video). 

 

 Shabbat Shalom

and

!miruP yppaH


 

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Did You Hear the One About...

The purpose of this blog is to increase simcha at the Shabbat table. Please print and share (+ like it, tweet it, forward).
 

.... the guy who could never remember the punchline of a joke?

Get it?

Remember, the purpose of this email is to read it aloud at your Friday night dinner table.

Here are a few more:

What is brown and sticky?
A stick.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

What kind of music do planets like?
Neptunes.

Why are there gates around cemeteries?
Because people are dyin' to get in.

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

A guy walks into a library and says, "Hi, I'll have the fish please."
The librarian says, "Sir, this is a library."
The guy whispers, "Oh, I'm sorry! I'll have the fish."

Survey time for your table - 5 questions....

Which of these is the best? The worst?

Why are "bad" jokes good?

What's the world's best "bad" joke?

(Send it my way and I'll send you a prize.)

You often hear people talk about "Jewish" humor — is there such a thing?
(Hint - click on the image above.)


Shabbat Shalom


A mensch tracht un Got lacht — A person plans and God laughs.

 

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The Good, the Bad and the Yummy

The goal of this blog is to lighten up the Shabbat table in good taste. Please forward, like, tweet or at least print and share.
Wishing Dede bat Sima a speedy and complete recovery.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT - The Amazing Jewish-Fact-a-Day Calendar has been updated (v. 2.11). It should be available for all iOS devices. Either search by title, or by my name, or use this link. With the proceeds, we are hoping to release a completely revamped v. 3.0 later this year. In the meantime, enjoy!
  
Last week's reader-challenge failed to turn up a superior Jewish joke, so the "two guys in Argentina joke" remains at the top.

In the meantime, hamantasch (that favorite Purim cookie) factories big and small have been at full-steam, leading us to a question for your table:

What would you guess are the three most popular hamantasch flavors?

(Answer below.)

That question leads us to some good news, some bad news, and some yummy news.

The good news is more people than ever before are doing Purim this year.

Why is that good news?

Because one of the main ways to celebrate Purim is to give gifts (money and food). So more people celebrating = more giving.

The bad news is that the world still has a few Haman-wanna-bes. The current front-runner is the president of Persia/Iran, Mr. Rou-Haman-i (who took over for Mr. A-Haman-nijadad in 2013.

Still building the bomb, still wants to kill the Jews.

Note that Persia is the setting of the ancient Purim story.

(In case the face doesn't ring a bell, click on it and learn something about the Haman of our day. Or click here, or here.)

The yummy news is what these modern Hamans have taught us about hamantaschen.

We have all wondered why are they shaped like that, and what does hamantash mean, anyhow?

When I was a kid, we used to call them “Haman’s hat”. But that’s because we didn’t spreken Yiddish. Then I went to Israel where they call them “Oznay Haman” - Haman’s ears. So I thought that tashen meant ears.

And then I stumbled upon these photos, hard evidence that the ear theory is correct. At least that's one benefit of Rou-Haman-i's election.

So I'm guessing you're thinking, "What are supposed to do, Rabbi, defeat our enemies by mocking them?"

This calls for a Monty Python line:

“We spit on you, you silly Persian. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Now go away or we will taunt you a second time!” (say with French accent)

(Here is a YouTube clip that says it best.)

Like I said, more people are doing Purim this year. Here are the stats from Israel alone:

+ Some thirty million hamantaschen are being baked.
+ This year Israelis will be able to buy goat cheese and onion hamantaschen.
+ Goat cheese and onion has a ways to go before it overtake the most popular flavors of poppy-seed, chocolate and date.

(For the adventurous, here ere are some other interesting flavor innovations.)

Final questions for your table: What's your favorite hamantaschen flavor? What flavor would you never want to try?

The time to eat them is of course this coming Sunday afternoon, remembering that every Haman has his hour, and his downfall.


Shabbat Shalom and Happy Purim


PS - All kidding aside, two of the great Purim mitzvot can be done online:

- Gifts to the poor - Here or here or here or ....
- Care packages to friends, neighbors, family - Amazon's selection

Proven to be the Greatest Jewish Joke Ever

The goal of this post is to crowd-source Jewish humor. For blessings and good luck yada-yada, please forward to your entire list.
Wishing Dede bat Sima a speedy and complete recovery.
  
Stop me if you've heard this one....

In Buenos Aires, two panhandlers are sitting on the ground, a few feet apart.

One wears a large cross. The other, a Star of David.

Needless to say, the plate of the former fills up quickly, with almost nothing in the plate of the latter.

After some time, a kindly priest passes and sizes up the situation. He turns to the Jewish beggar, "My son, you should put away that Star of David. You will never make enough money wearing that."

After he leaves, the Jewish beggar turns to the other with an annoyed look, saying in Yiddish, "Hey Merle, could you believe that guy, trying to tell us how to run our business?"

Greatest Jewish joke ever, right?

No? Got a better one?

(At our Purim celebration I always tell my father's favorite joke. If you want to hear it, you'll have to come over.)

This year we're making a contest for the best Jewish joke. Send it in and you may just win. Winning joke(s) will receive all the due honors thereof.

For your table tonight, 3 questions....

1. What makes a funny joke funny?
2. What makes a Jewish joke Jewish?
3. Why does Purim get all the fun?

(Hint, hint, hint...)

Shabbat Shalom

PS - All kidding aside, two of the great Purim mitzvot can be done online:

- Gifts to the poor - Here or here or here or ....
- Care packages to friends, neighbors, family - Amazon's selection


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Purim at.... Starbucks?

The goal of this blog is to put some spring into your step at the Shabbat table.
(To dedicate a future Table Talk, send an email.)

Wondering how to get yourself and family into the Purim mood? Get yourself down to Starbucks, where you can now get Hamentaschen-flavored coffee, just for Purim. Starbucks announced that the special flavor would only be available in participating locations, and only on the day of Purim. (It comes in a souvenir mug, as you can see pictured here.)

Also newsworthy, Google has announced that, in partnership with an enterprising Rabbi in Silicon Valley, they will soon launch the first on-line circumcision service. Called gMOIL, the service will be available to both men and women alike and will be, for the time being, a free service. Go to www.gMoil.com.

But quite seriously – is there anything more to Purim than costumes and booze?

Here’s a secret that few people know.

1,000 years ago, Rabbi Moshe Maimonides (RAMBAM) wrote that the best way to get into Purim is to give extra tzedaka (money to the poor).

But why? We give tzeddaka all year long – why especially increase it on Purim?

Listen to his reason: the main goal of Purim is to be happy – really very happy.

And there are two ways to create true simcha (joy).

One of those is to help someone who's down - a poor person, an orphan, a widow, a new immigrant (legal, of course!).

The problem is, many of us who don't live in San Francisco don’t know where to find such people...

For that reason, some thoughtful people have created avenues to give, where you can be sure your tzeddaka is going to the very neediest. Here is an example:

https://www.kerenyehoshuavyisroel.com/keren/families/index.cfm

I encourage you to give to them, and to be extra generous on Purim, to give to anyone who opens up their hand.

That’s Purim in a nutshell, the rest is commentary.

Happy Purim and Shabbat Shalom

(;-)>



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What's with Hamantaschen?

The purpose of this blog is to help you put your head into Purim while perhaps putting some Purim into your head. Please print and share.

Why are they shaped like that, and what does hamantashen mean, anyhow?

When I was a kid, we used to call them “Haman’s hat”. But that’s because we didn’t spreken Yiddish. Then I went to Israel where they call them “Oznay Haman” - Haman’s ears.

So I thought that tashen meant ears.

(Do Israelis imagine themselves as cannibals when they munch on their hamantashen?)

In fact, if you look in your Yiddish dictionary or talk to your Bubbe, you will learn that a tasch is a purse or bag.

There you have it. Hamantashen = Haman-bags.

Maybe they’re called “bags” because they are folded over with fruit inside, and “Haman” because they do look like Haman’s hat.

Or maybe he carried a triangular handbag.

Or maybe he did have triangular ears.

At this stage of my investigation I stumbled upon hard evidence that the ear theory is correct:

So what are supposed to do – defeat our enemies by mocking them? Sounds like a Monty Python line:

“We spit on you, you silly Persian. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Now go away or we will taunt you a second time!” (say with French accent)

Sometimes they make it so easy, by making themselves into clowns:



But if you look in that Yiddish dictionary again, you'll learn that man means "poppy". So the word mantaschen means "poppy-pockets" and therefore "Hamantaschen" is punny. (Hat tip to Natasha Shabat!)

Hamantaschen remind us that the truth is sometimes hidden, and that sometimes it helps to laugh.

....Even at ourselves.... Here's an oldy:

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of us and we feel guilty for not changing it earlier.

Badum-dum.

For your table: What's your favorite Jewish Joke? And what makes a joke a "Jewish joke"?

Remember, every Haman has his hour, and then his downfall.


Happy Purim, and Shabbat Shalom

PS - Here's a recipe for low-cal, no-gluten, no-cane-sugar hamantaschen.

PPS - Purim goes Western 

High Guise

The purpose of this email is to brainwash your family and friends into believing we live a wonderful world (65 million views!). Please print and share.

What do you see in this picture? Seaweed?

If there were a prize for the world’s best camouflage, it would surely go to the sea dragon, a fish in the waters off southern Australia.

Australians call them "leafies". Those leafy things all over its body seem to have no purpose other than to make it look a like a floating piece of seaweed.

It's good enough a disguise to fool bigger fish. These guys rarely rarely get eaten.

To be extra safe, some also change their color, like a chameleon!


But they can’t fool humans! Divers can spot them and were collecting them to near extinction before the Australian government banned all seadragon collecting.
 

But humanity has created two new ways to threaten them: pollution and habitat destruction.

The babies are particularly fragile. Like their sea horse cousins, the daddy seadragon cares for the babies. The mommy uses a special tube to place 150-250 eggs into special pits on his tail. Each egg gets its own pit. The daddy carries them around for a month or so until they hatch. They let him know they’re ready to be born by turning purple or orange. He then shakes his tail and rubs it against rocks to help them hatch.

Question for your table — We know why sea dragons wear camouflage; but why do people wear masks? Do they want to blend in or do they want to be noticed?


Shabbat Shalom

and Happy Purim....

PS: Speaking of the Purim, the best Purim and Pesach ideas have been gathered at bestjewishkidsbooks.com.

PPS: Super happy stuff here.
PPPS: Today's email is excerpted and adapted from our Amazing Nature program.

It's a Big World After All

The goal of this blog is to turn the dinner table into a "deep-talk-table"... Please print and share.

The picture to the left gives you an idea of how we started our week.

Purim with kids!

Family, friends!

Narrow?

But the week's news has dragged us out of our narrow shell.

1. They STILL can't find the airplane? It just disappeared?

2. The Russian empire strikes back?

3. Proof of the Big Bang?



Let's start to make sense of all of this with a question for your table, and then we'll get to the airplane.

Question: Gut reaction  - is Planet Earth big or small? (Gut reaction, please.)

Some people say big, some say small.

(I never heard someone say "medium".)

OK, with that in mind, let's talk about the airplane and those 239 people on board.



How many of us feel or felt a bit baffled by the fact that hundreds of ships, airplanes and sattelites can't find this Boeing 777?

The problem is that we just don't get how big the ocean is.

It's really, really quite big.

And what's even more counter-intuitive is that the vastness of the ocean is just a thin skin on the surface of Planet Earth.

Planet Earth is HUGE.




You and I are tiny little specks of nothing compared to the Earth.

Now, every school child know that the Earth is quite small compared to the sun.

Right?

How many earths could you fit inside the sun? Want to guess?

About 1.4 million.




The sun is of course one of a group of suns.

Any idea how many suns (stars) are in the Milky Way Galaxy?



More than a million.

More than a billion.

At least one hundred billion.

And most of that is vast regions of empty space!

And thanks to the Hubble Telescope, we have an estimate of how many galaxies are out there.

Wanna guess?

The current estimate is about a hundred billion or so.

That's 100,000,000,000.

So do the math. Based on those numbers, how many stars should there be in the universe?

                          100,000,000,000
                       x 100,000,000,000
10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

(Give or take...)

(Anyone know how to say that number? Ten ______?)

Does that seem big?

Is "big" the appropriate word here?

How about "gigantic"? "Humungous"? "Ginormous"?

Yet here we are, little specs of nearly nothing on the outer crust of our tiny little blue space ship near the outer edge of one galaxy.

And we're still fighting each other over ownership of every inch of that crust.

As Kurt Vonnegut said, our problem is that gravity has created a situation where every human being needs some part of the earth to cling to.

So now we can get to today's main question for your table:

Why does any of this matter?











Shabbat Shalom

PS - My "Judaism, Christianity, Islam" seminar is now online: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpRNpMr2-4U
PPS - Our public service site bestjewishkidsbooks.com has been stocked with links to great Pesach books and gifts, even matzah!
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Random Thoughts

The purpose of this blog is to add something unexpected to your Shabbat meals. Please print and share. 

This picture is what you get when just before Purim, one daughter turns 7 and her sister turns 11.

The third actor in this drama is, of course, Queen Esther.

Yesterday our little Queen Esther asked, "Is Mordechai bad?"

"No," we reassured her.

"Good, because I love him."

Really getting into her rôle.

Later in the day, someone in California reading the Purim story asked, "What does Queen Vashti have to do with it? It seems pretty random."

"Ahh," answered the rabbi, "That's the key to the entire story."

Randomness....a big topic in math, physics, statistics, philosophy and theology.

Bottom line, the Purim story is about how disparate events over a long period of time can be interconnected.

But you don't get it until you read the "whole megilla".

And then you can laugh when you realize that everything, in the end, makes sense.

In the Old Days (remember those days?) the Seattle Science Center had a giant glass Galton Box.

It's very simple. Balls drop through a slot at the top and then bounce randomly among pegs until they pile up at the bottom.

On the outside of the glass there is a painted bell curve.

Now, even though each balls bounces randomly, the sum total of balls always fall according to the bell curve.

You could watch that thing for hours, for days, for years - the balls always fall according to that curve.

In other words, while an individual event may appear random, the big picture is not.

That's my interpretation. What's yours?


Shabbat Shalom

and

Happy Purim

PS - Having trouble laughing at life? Try this "kabbalah" parody, this moral comedy or this Charlie Chaplan classic.

PPS - Want to make your Table Talk rabbi happy? Like it, tweet it, or just send it to someone who might enjoy it.

If You Eat Hamantashen, are You a Cannibal?

Did you ever eat a hamantashen?

To remind you, here’s a mouthwatering photo:



Why are they shaped like that, and what does hamantashen mean, anyhow?

When I was a kid, we used to call them “Haman’s hat”. But that’s because we didn’t spreken Yiddish. Then I went to Israel where they call them “Oznay Haman” - Haman’s ears.

So I thought that tashen meant ears.

(Do Israelis imagine themselves as cannibals when they munch on their hamantashen?)

In fact, if you look in your Yiddish dictionary or talk to your Bubbe, you will learn that a tasch is a purse or bag.

There you have it. Hamantashen = Haman-bags.

Maybe they’re called “bags” because they are folded over with fruit inside, and “Haman” because they do look like Haman’s hat.

Or maybe he carried a triangular handbag.

Or maybe he did have triangular ears.

At this stage of my investigation I stumbled upon hard evidence that the ear theory is correct:



So what are supposed to do – defeat our enemies by mocking them? Sounds like a Monty Python line:

“We spit on you, you silly Persian. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Now go away or we will taunt you a second time!” (say with French accent)

Sometimes they make it so easy, by making themselves into clowns:



Sometimes we should also laugh at ourselves.... Here's an oldy-but-goody:

A rabbi approaches a guest in the Shul and says, "I want to give you an Aliyah. What is your Hebrew name?"
 The man says "Sara bat Moshe."
 The rabbi says "No I need your name."
 The man repeats "It is Sara bat Moshe."
 The rabbi asks "How can that be your name?"
 The man answers "I've been having serious financial problems so everything is in my wife's name.”
Badum-dum.

Question for your table: How many rabbis does it take to change a lightbulb?

Remember, every Haman has his hour, and his downfall.

Happy Purim, and Shabbat Shalom

PS - Here's a recipe for low-call, no-gluten, no-cane-sugar hamantaschen.

PPS - If you don't have my iphone/android app, you're missing out on today's amazing Jewish fact! But you can read it online here.

PPPS - Here's a link to my newest Purim class: Click here.

In that class, I play a video. Here's the great video....


(Hebrew version)

Here's one more cute Purim-friendly video.

A Good Jewish Joke

Years after a shipwreck, they found the sole survivor, who had washed up on a lonely island.

The survivor, Mendel Chaimowitz, showed the television crews the home he had built for himself.

“There is the house, here is the exercise gym, and over there is the synagogue.”

When asked to explain another structure, almost identical in appearance to the synagogue, he retorted, “Why, that’s the shul I’d never set foot in!”

So here's the question for your table - What's your favoirte Jewish joke?

Shabbat Shalom

PS -

A book of classic Jewish humor
A Mel Brooks documentary
A very funny 1967 clip, Woody Allen interviewing William Buckley:



Quoted from
The Amazing Jewish Fact-a-Day Calendar

Android version: http://tinyurl.com/amazingandroidcalendar
Iphone/ipod/ipad version: http://tinyurl.com/amazingcalendarlink



Shabbat Shalom

We're All Settlers

In memory of the Fogels.

In case you were distracted by civil war in Libya, the disasters in Japan and your own life in general, there was a great tragedy last Shabbat in Israel. An entire family, parents and small children, were murdered in their sleep.

The community of Itamar is of course a "settlement".

But what does that mean?

From the perspective of Hamas, every Israeli community, including Tel Aviv, is a "settlement".

From the perspective of every anti-Semite, every Jew worldwide is a "settler".

Question #1 + 2 for your table: Do you ever feel like a settler in your life? Is this good or bad?

I just came from a funeral home. Even though I don't have a shul - or perhaps because I don't have a shul - they sometimes ask me to run a funeral for someone who didn't have a connection to any of Baltimore's many synagogues.

In this case, I happen to have known the deceased. She was a shining person whom one remembers first and foremost for her smile. One of her grandsons told me today that this trait was not newly acquired - that even as a child, people called her "the girl with the million-dollar smile."

Questions #3 + 4:

How would you like to be remembered like that?

What are you going to do about it?


Shabbat Shalom and Happy Purim

PS - in honor and memory of the slain Fogel family, 20,000 people signed up on Facebook to light Shabbat candles tonight. Click here to join.

PPS - here is a video in memory of the Fogels...


PPPS - here is a moving Jerusalem Post memorial.

PPPPS here is a poem written by a friend of ours who happens to be a neighbor of the Fogels:

Just down the road
a family was murdered
just down the road
a knife was jammed into a baby's heart
just down the road
3 beautiful children became orphans and bereaved brothers and sisters
just down the road
lots of people who hate me and my nation sleep quietly at night

I know, it's not new news
my Bubie saw her parents murdered in front of her, and became in seconds a
seven year old mother for her two younger brothers
I know, nothings new
almost all of my husband's family turned into ashes in the holocaust
and now I know - Amalek is still sticking around

But-
just up the road, wonderful families are setting down roots in the land of
Israel
just up the road, live humble, honest and faithful men and women
just up the road, there are people who believe in the eternity and strength
of Am Israel

the road is lengthy and winding, but its direction is clear and certain
on this road i cry and fear, pray and believe, wish and hope,
and deeply thank G-d, for giving me the privilege to take this road on, a
few steps forward.

written in pain
erev Purim 5771

Menschlekeit

What does it mean when someone says, "S/he's a real mensch"?

Here's a story from the Talmud:

Once, while Rebbe (that's the nickname of R. Yehuda HaNasi) was teaching his daily class in rabbinics, he noticed a particularly strong scent of garlic.

Now if you are a garlic lover, the scent of raw garlic can only be described as an aroma.

But if you are not a garlic lover, or if you happen to be pregnant, any scent of garlic (raw or cooked) can only be described as an odor.

While the Talmud does not mention whether or not Rebbe was pregnant at the time, I think it is safe to assume he was not. Nevertheless, he found the garlic smell so strong it was disturbing his concentration.

"Whoever has been eating garlic, please go out," he said.

R. Chiya stood up and left.

Then all the other students stood up and left.

The next day, Rebbe's son R. Shimon ran into R. Chiya. "Aren't you the one who annoyed my father yesterday?"

"God forbid," he answered.

Question for your table: Why did R. Chiya (and then the other students) leave?

If this story speaks to you, then you get one of the 2 messages of Purim: Doing whatever it takes to help anyone in your community who needs help.

Whatever it takes.

That’s being a mensch. Think about it.

If you don't know someone who needs help, or if you want to give anonymously (recommended), find a rabbi who disburses funds. If you can't find a rabbi, try 1-800-823-CHAI.


Shabbat Shalom and Happy Purim

Here is link to a class I gave this week on Purim.

And as promised, here is the second story, followed by a Purim-ready joke...

(As told by Larry Domnitch)

It was Purim, my destination was the South Bronx to read the Megillah (Scroll of Esther) in one of the last remaining Synagogues in the area. While scurrying around my apartment in an attempt to make a hasty departure, I received a phone call from a friend who had discovered an elderly Jewish man who lives alone in a vast housing project in the Bronx's Soundview section. It would be reasonable to presume that this person lives in virtual seclusion and is also detached from the Jewish community. On that day however, he would be reacquainted with the holiday of Purim.

I phoned Bernie (not his real name) and offered to bring him Mishloach Manot - the traditional package of treats. Pleasantly surprised as well as shocked to receive my call, he accepted the offer. I told Bernie that when I finished reading the Megillah, I would stop by. He responded that he anxiously awaited my arrival.

Years of solitude no doubt affects an individual and my call must have prompted Bernie to recollect the memories of the neighborhood's bygone eras, with its shuls, and schools, and holiday celebrations with relatives and friends. Perhaps he was not quite ready to deal with those memories for he called and left this message, "All the Jews have left, there is no one left here anymore." He said with resignation that perhaps it would be better if I did not visit him. However, I had already left and did not receive that message.

Later that afternoon, when I along with a friend arrived at Bernie's apartment, he greeted us graciously but with a subdued enthusiasm. He seemed uneasy, unsure he wanted us there. But with Mishloach Manot in hand, we were there nonetheless.

For about a half-hour, we sat in Bernie's unkempt, cluttered apartment surrounded by old newspapers and memorabilia. We spoke about Israel, the Bronx, the Jewish Patriarchs, Purim, and about whatever else he chose to discuss. I felt like a traveler from afar bringing Bernie news. We were indeed his connection with the Jewish world for that brief time.

How ironic that we lived only a few miles away. Bernie soon became comfortable with our presence, a sure sign that our mission was a success. When it was time to leave, we gave Bernie a Mishloach Manot package, and wished him a Freilichen (joyous) Purim. A greeting he probably had not heard in years.

When I returned home that evening, I heard Bernie's earlier recorded message telling me not to bother bringing him Mishloach Manot. Yet, an additional message followed. In an
enthusiastic tone that told a thousand words, he profusely thanked me for visiting him and for the Mishloach Manot. In an uplifted spirit, he said, "I want to thank you for the Shaloch Manos and most importantly for your presence here today. It's been a long time since I spoke about Yiddishkeit, you brought back the 'pintele Yid' (Jewish spark) in me." He concluded his message with, "Zei Gezunt," (be well) and added in parting "I'll call you when I get a chance." Indeed I have spoken to him since.

That year, the holiday of Purim was brought to Bernie. On that day, Purim was not merely a forgotten memory celebrated elsewhere but something real, a cause for celebration.
There are times when a seemingly small act can have the most profound effect upon another. It was a Purim I will never forget.

*
Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?
A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

Have a better joke? Leave a comment below!

PPS - Purim-friendly t-shirt seen in Israel: