Sticking Your Neck In

The purpose of this blog is to keep them from nodding off at the Shabbat table. Please print and share, or forward or like it or tweet it.
Do you travel good?

Is that poor grammar?

OK, let's make it the first question for your table:

What's the difference between "traveling well" and "traveling good"?

If you travel well, you bring an empty water bottle and fill it up after security.

If you travel good, you offer your extra Southwest drink coupons to the people in your row.

So imagine you're on a long flight headed East. You've got to get some rest because you're losing time and in just a few hours it's going to be morning. Oy, just thinking about the jet lag is already making you tired.

If you travel well, you have figured out how to sleep on the plane.

If you travel good, you have figured out how to sleep on the plane without disturbing anyone else.

Big fan of sleeping on the plane here. Nothing like a window seat with a pillow and eyeshades.

But what about the 99% who don't get a window seat?

My father (z'l) used to say that half of jet lag comes from not getting enough sleep while traveling (and the night before).

(Others say that's a myth, but Dad knew all about circadian rhythm, and research suggests he may have been on to something.)

If so, then inventing the perfect vertical sleeping device would help millions of people (not counting college students) and save the economy hundreds of millions of dollars.

(You thought I was joking about college students? Weren't you ever sitting in a long boring lecture and just wishing you could close your eyes inconspicously? I used to fantasize about an L-shaped device that you could sit on and lean back against, giving you a tiny Y-shaped bar to rest your head on. Still looking for that one!)

Here are some contenders for the best vertical sleep tool:

1. The $20 ZZZ-Band (not to be confused with the ZZ-Top band) straps your head to the seat. Sounds funny, but over 2/3 of reviewers think it's great.
2. The $20 Double-Decker inflatable - I'm rather intrigued by this one.
3. I have personally tried this $18 Caldera Releaf neck wrap and like it.
4. Have not tried the somewhat similar $30 Trtl Pillow.
5. Am also intrigued by this interesting $24 Elenker pillow.
6. Moving up to $37, if you don't mind people's stares, try the Cloud Nine.
7. The most highly-engineered is the $56 Kaz Headrest - you have to check this one out.

Well, in the end I decided to try out the popular Travelrest this summer. Will let you know how it goes.

What's your best advice for beating jet-lag?

Finally, for your table:

If you travel well, you ___________________________________.

If you travel good, you __________________________________.



Shabbat Shalom

(PS - yes, the picture above is for real and is clickable if you really must ask)


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Is it Eating Away at You? (the true price of freedom)

The goal of this email is to teach mind-control at the Shabbat table ...  Please share.
Continuing to wish a speedy recovery to Tamar Adina bas Kayna Shulamis.
Wishing condolences to the family of Shmuel (Sam) Wagonfeld.

National Geographic reports this week that a new type of hyperparasite has been discovered in Texas.

(The story is a bit gruesome; reader discretion advised.)

First a tiny (1-8mm) gall wasp digs a cozy home inside an oak tree.

Along comes this newly-discovered "set" wasp (named for the murderous, manipulative Egyptian god), also called "crypt-keeper".

"Nice place to lay an egg," she says. And so she does.

When that egg hatches, what comes out? A larva of course. It's now a bit crowded in there and the larva wants to get out and grow into a wasp.

But by now the doorway into the nest has become blocked by new bark. Larvae can't dig through bark.

First question for your table: How would you guess it gets out?

It can't dig through wood, but it somehow manages to burrow into the other wasp.

That's right: all the way to its head.

And it takes over the wasp's mind.

Now in control like some kind of nanoprobe, the set wasp larva forces the gall wasp to start tunneling through the tree’s bark.

But set wasp larvae are a bit impatient. Rather than wait for its gall wasp host to dig all the way out, as soon as the zombie gall wasp has created a hole large enough for a larva (but too small for a wasp), the nanoprobe larva starts to grow into an adult, eating its way through its host. At the last moment before it too is too large to fit through the hole, it erupts through the gall wasp's forehead and through that small hole to freedom.

The second question for your table: Is freedom worth it if it requires the destruction of another creature?

This question reminds me of a story I heard from the Holocaust.

The Zlotchover Rebbe was in Auschwitz.

He was starving, like everyone else there.

Once he found a fellow Jew who was even worse off than himself. He was lying down and looked like he was about to die. The Rebbe had one morsel of bread in his pocket and gave it to this Jew.

I doubt that anyone writing or reading this email can appreciate what that act meant. It certainly meant greater suffering for the giver, and almost certainly meant suicide.

The recipient found the strength to say, "Rebbe, I want to give you a blessing that you should live to get out of this place."

Soon after that, the Rebbe found himself in nearly the same position that he had found the man, horizontal and dying of hunger.

Just then a capo came in, saw the Rebbe lying there, and took pity on him. He produced a bag of sugar cubes from his pocket and gave them to the Rebbe, saving his life.

The Rebbe did live to get out of that place, and he always attributed his survival to the blessing that that Jew gave him, which stemmed from his own act of chesed.


Shabbat Shalom

PS - The Zlotchover Rebbe's niggun:

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Hastier But Tastier

Back to school? Have you seen our top picks for school supplies and gifts for teachers?
Visit BestJewishKidsBooks.com. When you use our links, Amazon donates 5% to JSL.


As presented earlier this summer, your Table Talk is in summer L'Chaim mode.

The suggestion is this:

At some point during the Shabbat meal, pour everyone their favorite beverage for a l'chaim.

But ask them not to drink until after you finish the story. Make this a ritual every Friday night, and your family will look forward to it.


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L’Chaim Story
Parshat Ki Tavo

“The Hasty Meal”

Rabbi Yisrael of Salant believed very much that "love your neighbor" is the most essential idea in the Torah.

He was famous for teaching the details of this mitzvah through example.

One of his students once invited him for Shabbat.

Knowing how careful Rabbi Yisroel was in every detail of observance, and how reluctant he was to stay anywhere as a guest, the disciple described the way he ran his household.

"We buy our meat from Shlomo the butcher. Our cook is the widow of so-and-so who observes every stringency. And the meals are conducted properly, with divrei Torah and songs. It's no wonder that the Friday night meal in my home ends at a very late hour of the night!"

He obviously felt proud of his observance.

“I accept your invitation,” Rabbi Yisrael said, “but only on the condition that you shorten the length of the Friday night meal by two hours.”

Eager to host his rabbi, the disciple quickly agreed.

That Friday night, the Shabbat meal was rushed faster than that family had ever experienced it.

The courses followed each other rapidly, without the usual lengthy break in between.

There were divrei Torah, but they were short and sweet, not long drashas.

They sang Shabbat songs, but only a few, not the entire liturgy.

It felt as though hardly any time passed between washing their hands for the meal and passing the finger-bowl after dessert.

After they said the final blessing of "Birchat HaMazone" the disciple turned to Rabbi Yisrael and said quietly, “Forgive me, Rebbe, but I must ask a question. What fault dd Rebbe find in the way I conduct my Shabbos table, that led him to shorten the meal time by two hours?”

He seemed to ignore the question. Instead he said, "Please ask your cook to come in."

When she entered, Rabbi Yisroel said to her, “Would you please forgive me for making you tired this evening, and causing the courses to be served so quickly tonight.”

To the student’s surprise the cook said, “May the Rabbi be blessed with every blessing! If only he was a guest here every Shabbos! The meal always lasts far into the night, after a day I’ve spent working very hard to prepare everything. By the time the meal is over, I can hardly lift my feet from exhaustion. But tonight, because you finished the meal early, I can go home and rest!”

Rabbi Yisrael didn't look surprised at all.

He turned to his disciple and said, “Here is the answer to your question. Indeed, the way you conduct your Shabbos table is wonderful. But when it harms another person, it becomes something not so wonderful at all!”

Listen to the sensitivity! That's what it means to be a great human being, that's what the Torah is all about. Rosh Hashana is in two weeks - may we all seek this kind of greatness.

L’chaim!

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Question for your table... What does it take to become that sensitive to other people's feelings? Is it even possible, or do you have to be born with it?


Shabbat Shalom

PS -

PPS - For this year's updated edition of our "25 Questions to Think About Before Rosh Hashana", send an email.

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Excerpted and adapted with permission from Stories My Grandfather Told Me, Vol. 5, © 2001 ArtScroll/Mesorah Publications. All rights reserved. Get the book here.

Jew for Justice

The goal of this blog is to provide a conversation-starter for the Friday night dinner table. Please print and share.

Just about a year ago, I asked, "What makes someone qualified to sit on the Supreme Court?"

The Jewish Supreme Court (Sanhedrin) was disbanded 1,600 years ago, but lives on in the pages of the Talmud.

In 1806, Napoleon convened a "Sanhedrin" in order to emancipate the Jew and assimilate him once and for all into French society.

In 2004, a quasi-Sanhedrin convened in Jerusalem, in order to get the bureaucratic ball rolling for when the real Sanhedrin will be revived.

Why wouldn't these rabbis want to go ahead and make a real Sanhedrin?

One problem is the requirements are quite stiff.

You can read last year's blog for the full scoop, but today I'd like to focus on just one of those amazing qualifications:

All the wisdom in the world won't get you anywhere unless you are first and foremost a "tov" - a person with a good heart.

How can you tell if you're a tov?

So I've designed a short self-assessment. You can print this out and try it at your table.

1. Do you eat the last cookie or do you leave it in case someone else may want some?
2. Do you cheerfully allow others enter traffic in front of you?
3. Do you notice when the cashier looks frazzled? Do you say, "Long day?"
4. Do you look for ways to help your spouse/parent/child/neighbor every day? Or do you wait to be asked?
5. How do you react to someone's help or a gift that you don't want, when given sincerely?
6. When giving tzedaka, are you doing them a favor, or are they doing you a favor?
7. Are you the first to greet, or do you wait to be greeted?

How'd you do? If nominated would you serve?

Shabbat Shalom



“Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.” - Churchill

May Matzah?

Dedicated to my Mom – What more need I say?
To dedicate a future Table Talk, send an email.

Here’s a trivia question for your table – why would thousands of Jews have a custom of eating matzah today, May 8, 2009?

Before I tell you the answer, I would like to share with you a delightful new book that I received as a gift this week.
It’s called Do One Nice Thing – Little things You Can Do to Make the World a Lot Nicer!

Here’s a random example from p. 206:

Donate some of your airline miles
so family members can visit a
wounded service member in the
hospital: visit www.FisherHouse.org
and click on Hero Miles.

The author, Debbie Tenzer, follows each suggestion with a short, thoughtfully-written vignette. Every page is like a ray of sunshine, attractively packaged by Crown Publishers. Great Mother's Day present.

Here’s a link:

http://tinyurl.com/DoOneNiceThing

(disclosure – I created that link so that if you use it, Amazon donates a portion of the proceeds to JSL).

And to answer the trivia question...Did I stump you?

Today is the 15th of the month of Iyar, exactly 1 month after Pesach. In the old days, if someone missed out on Pesach because they were sick or some other legitimate reason (I think you had to have a note from your parent or doctor), they could come to Jerusalem and celebrate “Pesach Sheni” - the 2nd Passover. Lamb, matza, maror, the whole works.

To commemorate this quasi-holiday, many people eat a little matzah.

Shabbat Shalom