Could it Be Any Other Way?

The goal of this blog is to bring peaceful conversation to your Friday night dinner. Please print and share.
In honor of our great friend in Jerusalem, whose birthday was this week - Happy Birthday, Pinchas.

A young woman phoned me the other day - someone I've never met - with a burning Jewish question, that is so good I offer to you as this week's Table Talk question:

Did God have to create a world with pain and suffering?

It seems to me the answer must be yes....

....or no

Let's start with the no.

The question assumes that we're talking about creating a world with a specific purpose. Let's say that purpuse is for us to achieve a certain thing. So the question is, did God have to create this purposeful world with pain and suffering - was it impossible to create a world with the same potential but without the pain and suffering?

If the answer is "no" - that God could have created creatures with the same potential yet without the pain and suffering, then it seems to point to God the sadist. Why would God make us suffer unnecessarily?

OK, so perhaps God is a sadist.

But if that's so, then God isn't a very successful god. After all, millions of people are happy. Millions of people - despite their pains and sufferings - are enjoying many blessings. If God were a sadist, he's not batting 1000.

So we have to reject the "no" answer and turn to the "yes" answer - that God had to create this purposeful world with pain and suffering, or at least with the potential for pain and suffering (perhaps triggered by our own actions).

That is, we need pain and suffering in order to achieve our purpose.

What is that purpose?

Simply put: knowledge of God.

In other words: the pain and suffering are custom-designed for each person to achieve divine knowledge.

The reason people are confused by this is because our materialistic culture teaches us that our purpose is material (money, leisure).

Judaism is a spiritual culture, teaching us that our purpose is spiritual.

In a materialistic culture, pain and suffering are inherently bad, because they are the opposite of comfort.

In a spiritual culture, comfort is not the goal. The goal is enlightenment, and usually this only comes through discomfort.

The girl's question was, Couldn't God have made a world with the same enlightenment but without the discomfort (pain)?

The answer is no, because learning to deal with discomfort is part of the enlightenment. Without discomfort, we would be missing certain facets of the jewel of enlightenment:

Without someone testing my patience, how will I learn patience?
Without someone testing my calmness, how will I learn calmness?
Without having my honesty tested, how will I learn honesty?
Without feelings of laziness, how will I learn zeal?

And so on.

And here's the real zinger for your table:

What's the greatest discomfort (pain) in the world?

I'm interested in your answers. Here's mine:

The greatest pain in the world is the bruised ego.

That's why the Torah starts with the legend of Adam and Eve in the Garden. Their great mistake wasn't eating the fruit - it was their refusal or inability to admit they'd done something wrong.

Thus the singlemost important thing you and I can do right now in order to become enlightened is to look in the mirror and practice over and over saying the two hardest phrases in the English language:

- "You are right - I'm wrong"
- "I'm sorry."

Only by embracing the pain of saying those two phrases can a person become truly great.

Good luck....

....and Shabbat Shalom

PS - There is another, less painful, route to enlightenment, and you can find it here.

Hidden Miracle?

As presented a few weeks ago, your Table Talk is in summer L'Chaim mode.

The suggestion is this:

At some point during the Shabbat meal, pour everyone their favorite beverage for a l'chaim.

But ask them not to drink until after you finish the story. Make this a ritual every Friday night, and your family will look forward to it.

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L’Chaim Story
Parshat Eikev

“Hidden Miracles”

Rabbi Shlomo of Bobov heard of a Jew from a distant community who was on his way to Sanz, but had fallen seriously ill.

The man was lying in strange lodgings with no one to care for him, and his life was in danger. Rabbi Shlomo hurried to place the man under the care of the city’s best doctors. The doctors did their utmost to cure the man, whose illness was affecting his lungs, but their efforts did not help. They despaired of the patient’s life.

“He has no lungs left,” one of the doctors said. “There is no hope.”

Upon hearing this, Rabbi Shlomo went to his grandfather, Rabbi Chaim Halberstam, crying, “The patient is in very bad shape. The doctors have given up on him. Mercy!”

Rabbi Chaim seized Rabbi Shlomo’s coat and said, “Why are you crying to me? The doctors do not decree what God does. If the man has no lungs, God can create a new one for him. Go to the patient and wish him a speedy recovery!”

Rabbi Shlomo returned to the sick man and told him what the tzaddik had said. ....





For copyright reasons, the rest of the story may not be displayed here, but we'll be happy to send it along, just send an email.
 
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Shabbat Shalom


PS - For a short and sweet philosophical expansion of this topic in free will, click here.

PPS - Want to make your Table Talk rabbi happy? Like it, tweet it, or just forward it to someone who might enjoy it.

Excerpted and adapted with permission from Stories My Grandfather Told Me, Vol. 5, © 2001 ArtScroll/Mesorah Publications. All rights reserved. Get the book here.

Does God Care?

The purpose of this blog is to help the family talk about the most important issues of the day. Please print and share.



This week, two Superbowl questions for your table.

The first question is one that I know is already on your mind:

Does God care who wins (or won) the Superbowl?

(The answer of course, is yes, which is why He's so happy this week.)

To make it a serious question for serious conversation, here are another couple factors to add to the equation.

1. For the sake of discussion, let's define "God" as "infinite, unlimited being".
2. "Care" is a very human term. But maybe what people mean by that question is "involved".

Looking forward to your family's answers.

This week's second question is no less pressing.

There was a parade in Baltimore and not in San Francisco - are you comfortable with that?

That question leads to a story, followed by the third question.

Here's the story, which has been going around the Jewish world for a few years.

It’s about a boy named Shaya.

Shaya was “special". He was slower than the other boys. His brain worked slower and his body worked slower.

Shaya attended a Jewish boys’ school and he played with his classmates on a Jewish baseball league. Their team was called the Allstars.

Shaya wasn’t very good. He couldn’t hit the ball, he couldn’t catch the ball, he always forgot which way to run.

But his classmates were nice to him, always gave him a high-five and he loved being part of the team, wearing the uniform and getting his turn at bat just like the other boys.

At the end of the sixth-grade season, the Allstars had made it into the championship game against the Whitesox. At the bottom of the ninth, with two outs, the Allstars were down by two points, there was one man on base and guess what....Shaya was up.

If I told you that they put someone else up in his place that would be untrue. His team put Shaya up in the normal batting order (rules are rules after all...). They all realized that they were not going to win the game, but they encouraged Shaya anyway, why shouldn’t he have fun? “Go gettem, Shaya!” Who knows, maybe there would be a miracle?

When the Whitesox pitcher saw who was up to bat, he smiled and walked halfway to home plate. Then he pitched the slowest underhand pitch he could. Shaya swung and missed.

“That’s OK, Shaya,” his teammates shouted. “Keep your eye on that ball!”

The pitcher took a few steps closer and pitched again, as gingerly as he could launch that ball. Shaya swung and missed.

Then one of Shaya’s teammates stepped up behind him and helped him hold the bat. The Whitesox pitcher tossed a third lazy ball, right over the strike zone. With help, Shaya made contact on the ball and it went in a lazy arch right towards the pitcher.

This is when the excitement started. The Whitesox pitcher dodged the ball and let it land on the ground. Seeing that it was a fair ball, Shaya’s teammates yelled, “Run, Shaya, run!!” Shaya started to run the wrong way and his batting-buddy steered him towards first base.

Meanwhile, the Whitesox pitcher picked up the ball and through it towards first base. But he threw it in such a high arc that it went way over the head of the firstbaseman and landed near the edge of the field. Shaya was still running, and his teammates were all yelling, “Run Shaya, run!!” When Shaya got to first, he hesitated but his coach pointed him towards second. Meanwhile, the firstbaseman had retrieved the ball and was throwing it towards second. But he, too, overthrew his teammate by a mile, allowing Shaya to make it to second. Already Shaya’s two teammates who had been on base made it home and the score was tied. By now, everyone, not only the Allstars but even the Whitesox, they were going crazy, yelling “Run, Shaya, run!” Shaya was running for his life!

The same thing happened at third – the outfielder who picked up the ball threw it over the head of the thirdbaseman and Shaya rounded third! He was on his way home and all of the parents in the stands were on their feet, everyone was yelling, “Run, Shaya, run!!”

When Shaya made it home, he was swarmed by both teams, the Allstars and the Whitesox, who lifted him up on their shoulders and chanted, “Shaya, Shaya, Shaya!”

Question for your table - How does the achievement of those boys compare to the achivement of the Ravens?

Those boys reached "sheleimut" that day. Same root as shalom. Maybe you can define it.

But the real home-run question is, can this value be taught? Or does it just happen?


Shabbat Shalom 


PS - To friends in the Bay Area, hoping to see you Monday night.


As always, if you enjoyed this blog, please "like" it, "tweet" it, or simply send the link to others who may enjoy it.

Is Life Fair?

In memory of Bobbi Frankel, who exemplified the search for honest meaning and profound human connections.

I owe you an apology.

Last week, I made a mistake. Here, I found a fascinating article from the Guardian newspaper, read the first half and the last bit, but in my haste (and family vacation) did not read the entire piece word-for-word.... Should I have considered that the Guardian, that venerable bastion of British middle-class culture, would publish profanity? In my naïveté, I did not. The Guardian’s mission since its founding in 1821 has been promoted at various times as “non-conformist”, and it has been a great supporter of Israel, but in my innocence did not suspect that nonconformist meant the use of profanity. Please accept my apology (the online version was cleaned up after the problem was reported to me, but the email, like lashon hara, was like the cat out of the bag...)

That said, one reader complained last week that the article was too long to read - “who has time?” he asked.

The answer is – the idea of this weekly email is not to read it on the computer screen, but to print it out and read at leisure Friday night or even Saturday afternoon, when you (supposedly) have the time. Please, do yourself a favor, click PRINT right now and take that long walk over to the printer to fetch it before you forget.

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The other day I was sitting at a picturesque little paradise on the Puget Sound with someone in the spot where my father hit his head three years ago and never woke up. (If you want to get a tiny sense of what kind of person he was and why he was mourned by so many, read this)

My interlocutor asked, “How can you understand how a just God could allow this to happen? Or the hurricanes or earthquakes where thousands of innocent people die?”

It seems to me that there are 3 things that anyone asking this question might think about:

1 – The issue of a “just God” does not need to be framed in terms of hurricanes and earthquakes. Even if a single child suffers, the question could be asked.
2 – This question is not a new one. In fact, not only is it discussed by all major Jewish thinkers, it is the subject of an entire book of Tanach, the book of Job.
3 – Why is it that we are troubled by our failure to understand God? Is the God of our conception so puny an idea that we can understand it? Shouldn’t we expect that whatever God is, if God is, God is beyond our understanding?

In fact, Maimonides says that the more you meditate on #3, ironically, the more you understand “God”.


Shabbat Shalom

Instant Karma

Dedicated to the memory of Galit Schiller, who died last Shabbat from complications after the birth of her third child. Our deepest condolences to husband Judah, son Tomer, daughter Naomi and baby Satya.
To dedicate a future Table Talk, send an email.


Question for your table: From a Jewish perspective, what do you think is the most problematic aspect of Christianity?

For me personally, growing up in America, one of the things that I found most challenging about the dominant religion was the idea of some guy “dying for our sins.”

Preposterous, right? How could someone die for my sins? And why should my belief in him have anything to do with it?

Well...

Actually, it turns out that 95 percent of Christian and Islamic theologies come directly from Jewish thought. They just changed some of the key details.

For instance, the Talmud states: “The death of the righteous atones (for the living).”

Gee, that sounds a lot like the religion that I just dismissed....

To understand the Talmud, consider two questions:

1. What does atonement mean?
2. Why it should be only the death of the righteous that atones. Why not anyone’s death?

The answer to #1: atonement means purifying the soul of negative karma.

The answer to #2: it isn’t the death per se that atones, rather how we react to it.

When a less-than-righteous person dies, we may be sad but we don’t feel that sense of incomprehension, “Why did this happen?!!”

When a righteous person dies, we feel that overwhelming shock, “How could this have happened?” Some even say, “How could God let this happen?” It’s much more than a mere shanda.

And it is precisely that deep-down shutter of realizing that I don’t understand that atones, because negative karma can come from ego, which is characterized by feeling that I know something, that I’m smart, that I’m good because I know what good means. The shocking “unjust” death of the righteous wakes us from this ego-trip and thereby atones for all who hear the tragic news.

Is this what Lennon meant?



Think about it.

Shabbat Shalom.

(By the way, in that video, what's the deal with the knitting?)

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Upcoming speaking schedule:

June 25 – Philadelphia: The Foundation of Ethics (Business lunch)
June 25 – Philadelphia: The Kabbalah of Wine (evening wine tasting + class)
(For details, send an email)

Yiddish of the week:
shanda — shame

Yiddish review - how many do you know?
anee — poor person
koptsen — panhandler
ballaboss — homeowner; layman
nu — various meanings (see archives)
mishpocha — family
mameh — mother
tateh — father
mazal – (MAH-z’l) luck or fortune, as in, “It was good mazal that....”
beshert – (b’shairt) - meant to be, as in “It was beshert that...”
mine eltern – my parents
mine lair-er – my teacher
hamantashen – Haman-pockets
zeigezunt – all the best (said upon parting)
kesher - connection
Ikh volt veln a kave, zayt azoy gut. - I'd like a coffee, please.
...kave mit shmant. – ...a coffee with cream.
...kave mit milkh. – ...a coffee with milk.
...kave mit tsuker. - ...a coffee with sugar.
Di Fir Kashes - The Four Questions
Oy vey! - Good grief!
mensch — a decent person
rachmanos — mercy
neshoma (neh-SHOH-ma) — soul
minig — custom, as in, "Why do you do that?" "It's my minig!"
Gavaltig — wonderful
Oy gavalt — how wonderful (sarcastic)
Azoy gait es! — That’s how it goes!
Shabbos — Cessation; stopping; day of stopping; weekly sabbatical experience
"Gut Shabbos" — "Enjoy your weekly sabbatical experience"
Neshoma — Soul
meshugass — insanity
meshuganeh — insane
kyna hara — no evil eye
shvitz — sweat