Overwhelmed? Here's what to do.

The goal of this blog is to inspire a new year of engaging dinner table discussions with the whole family. 
Dedicated in honor of Kyle and Shelli's anniversary - mazal tov! You are true roll models for how to create an amazing family.

I would especially like to wish you and yours a healthy, happy and sweet new year. As many have noted, 5774 was a challenging year for the Jewish People and the world. May 5775 be a year of true peace.

Last Friday, I asked, For you, what's a good life?
 
By now, I assume you've had deep meaningful discussions around that question. Therefore the goal today is to create some action points for Rosh Hashana, to turn theory into practice.
  
Let's make it global in perspective, local in action.
Globally, there's some highly disturbing news. So much so that it can be overwhelming.

First, there's global warming. It's happening too fast and is alarming. 

Second, the incredible rise in violence by the anti-idolatry group in Syria and Iraq (who named themselves after an ancient Egyptian goddess by the way).

Third, let's add the ebola tragedy. Some of the world's experts in infectious diseases are quite worried about this one. It is becoming an historic pandemic of biblical proportions.

To call the suffering heart-wrenching seems like an insultingly huge understatement. Is this what it takes to get Americans to wake up?

Fourth, let's not forget about the new reality of Big Brother. He appears here to stay.
( : -  ( >
 
What does all this have to do with Rosh Hashana?

More important what does it have to do with you and me?

Most important, what does it have to do with me?

The connection is through a little tidbit of rabbinic wisdom.

The rabbis tell us that in order to live a meaningful life, don't just absorb the news passively. Don't just react as if it's happening somewhere "over there".

Instead, react as if you are living in a Matrix-like virtual reality where everything that happens is custom-designed for you.

For example, take the ISIS stuff. A historian will react with detached historical question, a sociologist with a detached sociological question.

A Jew entering Rosh Hashana will ask a very attached question: What is the message here for me personally?

It is interesting that the ancient Pirkei Avot - the Jewish book of ethics, deals with these very two issues - an increase of knife violence and an increase of infectuous disease. The rabbis who wrote Pirkei Avot transmitted two very specific, very attached interpretations of these two news events.

The sword comes to the world for the procrastination of justice, the corruption of justice, and because of those who misinterpret the Torah.

Plagues increase....in the fourth year [of the seven-year cycle], because of [the neglect of] the tithe to the poor that must be given on the third year; in the seventh, because of the tithe to the poor that must be given on the sixth; on the year after the seventh, because of the produce of the sabbatical year; and following each festival, because of the robbing of the poor of the gifts due to them.

In other words, to use the current news as a call to action should mean increasing the learning and teaching of Torah, and increasing tithing (giving 1/10 of your income to charity).

What's the connection to Rosh Hashana?

Rosh Hashana is our annual chance to recalibrate. Where are you going? What kind of person do you want to be? Patient or impatient? Giving or selfish? Warm or cold? Energetic or lazy?

And why?

Rosh Hashana is an amazing day for revisiting yourself. My handy one-page sheet may be a useful guide (see below).

That said, Rambam (Maimonides) says that one of the best ways to change your personality is to start by changing a habit.

For example, a person who wants to become more friendly but doesn't feel like it could start by trying to smile more. That smiling will lead to a greater inner sense of friendliness.

I have a worksheet to help you think about these big questions on Rosh Hashana. I'd like to send it to you.

But the news is telling us - screaming at us - to do more: to increase Torah and increase tzedakah (charity).

Hey, great timing! There happens to be an ancient Jewish tradition of increasing Torah and tzedakah at this time of year. Giving tzedakah is the action Rambam was talking about - its a selfless action. Most of my shortcomings are rooted in selfishness! What a smart tradition!

In fact, there is a present need. As long-term subscribers know, I rarely ask for anything. Although there are expenses involved in creating this weekly email, it comes to you every week like public radio, free of charge. Once or twice a year I ask for your support. For the above reasons, this is the best time of year for you to become a partner, or to renew your partnership.

To thank you for your one-time or monthly donation to support JSL's teaching of Torah wisdom, we'll send you these new 2014 materials:

1. 25 Questions to Think About From Rosh Hashana to Yom Kippur (2014 edition)
2. Traditional Simanim-Omens for Rosh Hashana Dinner. Here's a sample.
3. My Rosh Hashana prep class (audio) from last week

Here's the organization website: jsli.org.
Here's the donation link: jsli.org/donate.


Finally, I'd like to end with an update on our friend Harmon, in San Francisco.

Harmon loves to sail. So much so that when given the opportunity to put his life on hold and jump on a world-class sailboat in Alaska as a voluntary crew member, Harmon signed up. It was to be a month or more at sea.

Think of all the preparations you'd have to make to leave your family and business for a month. Not to mention the sailing-specific prep.

Think of the disappointment when the trip has to be cancelled due to weather etc. Docking for the winter. Yada yada yada.

The reason that Harmon's story is an inspirational Rosh Hashana story is because he dared to dream big. BIG. It didn't work out this time, but the dream is still there. The prep work, that's all the hard work, but it has to start with a dream, a vision.

That's Rosh Hashana - a day to clarify your dreams. What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of life do you want to live? Get my 25 Questions sheet and start to work it out, and use Rosh Hashana to set sail to a great year.

   
L'Shana Tova!

May you and your family be inscribed and sealed for life, health, happiness and peace in 5775. 

Have a sweet year.




PS - If you search youtube you may find my experimental RH/YK videos from a few years ago.

PPS – To find High Holiday books and activities for kids, or gifts for teachers (and other thoughtful adults), please use bestjewishkidsbooks.com.

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What More Can I Add to This?

(If you read this blog online only, you may have noticed that there was no post last week.... I actually did write a blog but blogger was down. Those who subscribe via email received their Table Talk as usual, and several said it really moved them. Time to subscribe to the email version?)

Sometimes the news headlines are so colorful, I wonder why bother sending you a story for your dinner table?

Haven't the headlines given us enough to talk about?

Yes... and no...

If your dinner table includes children, or adults who have a sense of discretion, the two stories of male indiscretion (one confirmed, the other alleged) that rocked all news media worldwide this week need some kind of spin.

If you and your family are already more familiar than you care to be with these two headlines, then here's a great starter question for your table:

How would you imagine a religious family would talk about Former-candidate-for-president-of-France and Former-Governor-of-California?

While the latter Former, being of Teutonic descent, may possibly plead ignorance, the former Former, being Jewish, should have been aware that we Jews have an ancient book of ethics.

It's called Pirkei Avot.

No, it doesn't say "don't be a chauvinist", it's a little more subtle than that.

Here's one of its most quotable quotes:

Ben Zoma said: Who is wise? One who learns from everyone.
Who is mighty? He who subdues his passions.
Who is rich? One who is happy with what he has.
Who is honored? One who honors others.

Let's think for a moment what Ben Zoma is trying to tell us.

He is saying: there is a conventional definition, and there is a spiritual definition.

Try asking at your table: "Give me an example of someone you consider wise."

Most people will answer with someone who knows a lot of stuff. Ben Zoma is telling us that the enlightened definition of wisdom is not a measure of how much you know rather your attitude towards learning, your humility towards others.

Ask everyone at your table to give an example of someone who is mighty or strong. Most people will say someone who is either physically strong (eg, Former-Governor-of-California) or someone who is politically or economically mighty (eg, Former-Candidate-for-President-of-France).

Do you see where this is going?

Ben Zoma is telling us that the truly mighty is someone who can control his or her passions. There could be no better illustration of this idea than this week's headlines.

Former-Candidate-for-President-of-France, by political and economic measures (was) one of the more mighty human beings on the planet, evidently (allegedly) is not mighty at all, according to the Jewish book of ethics.

Former-Governor-of-California, who built his entire career and fortune on the projection of physical strength and used that image to persuade the citizens of the world's fifth mightiest country to make him their leader, has been unmasked as a 235-lb weakling.

Final question for your table: Looking at Ben Zoma's definitions, who are the wisest, strongest, richest and most honored people you know?

Shabbat Shalom (and Happy Lag B'Omer)

UPDATE - In reply to several readers' questions - I am neither presuming nor insinuating Former-Candidate-for-President-of-France to be guilty as charged, and have added the word "alleged" above. He may very well be found (and I hope is) innocent. Moreover, it is a shame that he has been tried and convicted by the media. I am rather reacting to the news. The news headlines are, in my opinion, a reminder to all of us of the continued relevance of Ben Zoma's wisdom, regardless of the outcome of any specific case.

PS - Please bookmark BestJewishKidsBooks.com if you haven't already.