He Sad, She Sad

The purpose of this blog is to reveal shades of gray at the Shabbat table. Please print and share.

This week, a couple hard questions for your table.

Let's start with a definition - ask your table: What's irony?

Oh, never mind, that's too hard. 

 

Let's move on to #2, a Talmudic question for your table:

Is it possible for a plaintiff and defendant to contradict each other 100%, yet both be telling the truth?

I'm not asking if it's likely. Or even plausible. Is it possible.

After everyone chimes in, tell them this old one about the rabbi and rebbetzin counseling a couple.

The wife speaks her piece, and the rabbi says, "You're right."

Then the husband speaks, and the rabbi says, "You're right."

Then the Rebbetzin says, "Can they both be right?" And the Rabbi says, "You're right too!"

Many people cannot see life this way.

They can't see that two contradictory "truths" can both be true. It's either black or it's white. It cannot be both black and white.

The ability to hold two contradictory truths in our heads at the same time is the basis of Jewish humor, and I think it is the root of what is called "comic irony".

This is why Isaac, the progenitor of Israel, is named "Yitzchak" - "he shall laugh".

We apparently developed this talent through millennia of Torah study.

(With occasional periods of suffering, requiring a coping mechanism.)

Now, what I just wrote two sentences ago may spark some controversy. After all, how many of the 80 percent of American comics who are Jewish ever studied the Torah?

Maybe 2?

But it doesn't matter. An ounce of Torah study in one generation will cause a pound of irony for generations to come.

If you personally possess this ability, and you are not a Torah scholar, maybe you descend from Torah scholars....

So now, if she says X and he says Y, what are the truth possibilities?

X - and he's wrong/lying;

Y - and she's wrong/lying;

XY - and they're each trapped in their own perspective.

or . .

Z (an unnamed alternative) - maybe ______? (fill in the blank)

Speaking of Torah scholars, next week is Simchat Torah when we roll the scroll back to the beginning.

I overheard a conversation this morning between two nice Jewish guys.

One said, "Simchat Torah is my least favorite holiday. I just want to get it over with as quickly as possible."

The other said, "I love it."

"What do you love about it?"

"All year long I've been studying the weekly parasha. On Simchat Torah, I'm celebrating completing it."

"How often do you study it?"

"A little bit every day."

"Wow, you must have tremendous discipline to do that."

"I started a few years ago with English only. Eventually I started reading the Hebrew too."

"Hmm...."

Happy Sukkot

and

Shabbat Shalom

and

Chag Sameach

 

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Do you say "rooof" or "ruf"?

In memory of Ronald Fischman, 54, was stabbed to death in his Philadelphia home last week by a man he had tried to help. He was described by his rabbi as "one of the most compassionate people I know - he had an enormous heart."
(To dedicate a future Table Talk, send an email.)

Today's title is a serious question - How do you pronounce the word "roof"?

Where I grew up, the top of your house was pronounced "ruf" (rhymes with book) and the horse's foot a "huf".

Then I moved to Mississippi. Down there folks say "reeuf" (sounds better in a phrase, like "cat on a hot tin reeuf").

Then my Mississippi buddy and I drove across the country in his pickup. His name is Billy Joe. I am not making this up.

When we got to California, we happened to arrive in time for my cousins wedding. He didn't want to stay for the whole wedding of distant cousins of mine that I myself hardly knew. But he stayed for the ceremony and reception.

Upon departure, BJ made this observation:

"That wan't no wedding."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm telling you, that wan't no wedding. There ain't no wedding cake!"

(BJ likes cake.)

Here's the deal. The High Holidays are a banquet. Rosh Hashana is the Entrée. Yom Kippur (ironically because we fast) is the First Course. Sukkot is the Main Course. Simchat Torah is Dessert.

Now, if you had your Entrée and First Course but don't have your Main Course, you're going to leave the Banquet a bit hungry.

So first thing to do over the next 8 days is find a Sukka to sit in for a few minutes. Chances are there's one near you.

Now, you could have the Main Course but leave before dessert, but if you do, your soul is gonna say, "That wan't no wedding!"

And if and when you find yourself in a sukkah, here's the question to ask: What's the most important thing to have in a sukkah?

Happy Holidays and Shana Tova and don't forget to enjoy our beautiful new Fall Good News Newsletter.


(This blog will be enjoying the Banquet until October 24)


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Can You Be Sorry But Happy?

The purpose of this blog is to make sure your Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur don't go to waste. Please print and share.

Can You Be Sorry But Happy?

Someone read last week's Fiat email and wondered, "why did he write 'Happy Yom Kippur' - was that an error?"

Now that Yom K ippur is in the rearview mirror, and we've been cleansed of all our sins...

I have a big apology to make. I did make a big error (and many small ones).

But writing "Happy Yom Kippur" was not one of them.

The big one was that last week, some people received this message on Saturday morning instead of Friday.

Oy.

For those who enjoy reading it on Friday, please forgive me.

And maybe this is a good reminder that the cleansing of Yom Kippur is only temporary.

If we're not saying "I'm sorry" at least once a day, we're probably not being honest.

(As I tell some of the men who study with me, "An apology a day keeps the rabbi away.")

I called this email "Happy Apologies" because a sincere apology is a happy moment. It's cleansing.

Isn't it?

No error, I meant it.

So...if you read the story about the Fiat, did you enjoy it?

Did you make a commitment for change this year? (You could ask this question at your table...)

Some people like to keep their commitments private, but telling others can sometimes help you keep them.

So I'd like to share with you my four commiments.

I figure the more people who know, the more focused I'll be on keeping them. All of these are a 6-week commitment:

Physical - Going to bed on time (so much to do, so hard to shut down).
Relationships - Phoning my sister once a week (the time difference makes it challenging).
Society - 10 fundraising meetings for JSL's amazing new project (I hate asking people for money).
Spiritual - 3 hours of Torah study every day (who has time?)

There you have it. I've bared my soul.

(The last one has been the most interesting. It's amazing how many unused minutes you can find in the day, if you try.)

What did you commit to?

Didn't make a commitment? Didn't make one that you feel you can keep? Made one but already screwed up?

Tonight starts the last 8 days of the High Holidays (Sukkot).

Eight more days to set your course straight for the year.

Good luck.

Happy Sukkot.

(no email next week)

"Apology is a lovely perfume - it can transform the clumsiest moment into the most gracious gift." - Margaret Runbeck
"Maturity is the ability to reap without apology and not complain when things don’t go well." - Jim Rohn

PS:  At this time of year, many people try to give extra tzedaka. If you're that type, please help aleviate hunger or support Jewish education. This blog is supported exclusively by tax-deductible contributions from readers like you. This is one of two times each year we invite you to become a paid subscriber. If you're not a  subscriber/member/supporter, someone else is paying for you to enjoy this. If it's worth a nickel to you or more, please do the math and click here. It only takes a minute or so and any amount helps.

Sukka in a Snap

The purpose of this blog is to help you turn your Shabbat table into a salon. Please share.

It has come to our attention that some people out there are "kind of interested" in having a sukkah but find the project a bit daunting.

Maybe you don't know where to get one.

Maybe you don't know how to build one.

Maybe you don't think you're capable.

Now YOU TOO can build and enjoy a sukka.

There are now two sukkahs you can get that go up without tools or significant effort. One is so portable you could take it on a road trip.

We have links to both of them, plus a humorous short Sukka video here.


(Note - the seller we link to has announced that orders after today - September 28 - will not be filled.)

Question for your table: Is Sukkot part of the High Holy Days?


Shabbat Shalom and Happy Sukkot


PS - Many people enjoyed the Yom Kippur video I sent on Tuesday - if you didn't see it, it's timeless: The Landlord.
PPS - Please download our new fall bulletin here.

Taking a Week Off

Dedicated to my dear mother, whose birthday is today. Happy Birthday, Mom!

Happy Sukkot....

Kids off from school from today for 2 weeks so you will get an abbreviated blog this week and next....

Here's something they didn't teach you in Sunday school:

(You can ask this at the table....)

When the Talmud refers to "ha-chag" - "the holiday" - without specifying which one  - which one does it mean?

A: It always means Sukkot.

Sukkot is the archetype of holidays.

It is the greatest of holidays.

And it is the least celebrated.

Strange.

Why do you suppose that is?

Interested in something meaningful about this festival? Try these links:

Great short article
Great audio
Collection of thoughtful articles
Coloring pages

 Chag Sameach!

The Week That Is

Sometimes, so many things happen, it’s hard to digest them.

Yom Kippur, earthquakes and tsunamis, births and deaths, and on and on.

There is this idea that the 6 days of the week – Sunday thru Friday – are “unified” on Friday night.

Meaning, each day has a different energy, a different wavelength, a different set of challenges and rewards.

On Friday night, these 6 units of time coalesce into a single unit, “the week”. The opportunity to let these 6 gel is called “Shabbat” or “Shabbos”, which literally means “stopping to run around and do things in order for all that you’ve done the past 6 days to be able to coalesce and be digested.”

So much has happened this week. So little has happened.

I don’t know about you, but I have a love-hate relationship with NPR. They have had some stories that have been so anti-Israel it makes some people think of them as “national Palestine radio”. But mostly they have some real gems.

Here are two stories from this week that I wanted to share with you.

The first is about Jennie Litvak, who learned to play trumpet from Dizzy Gilespie, and now plays shofar: Click here.

The second is my brother’s story this morning, on health care co-ops: Here.

Here’s the question for your table: Can you remember one thing you worked on or accomplished each day this week?

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Sukkot

PS - This US Army broadcast from Nazi Germany stirs the soul:


“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” - Churchill