Have You Had "The Talk"?

The purpose of this blog is to get them talking about talking at the Friday night dinner table.... Please forward / like / tweet....

Happy Birthday shout-out to Avramy Seinfeld - no longer a teenager! :-(

Last week was about archaeology. This week, for balance, is about neophilism.

We've all had the birds-and-bees talk.

We've had the honesty talk.

We've had the technology responsibility talk.

We may have even had the "be courteous kind and forgiving" talk.

But have we had the gossip talk?

I had jury duty this week and the pompous judge had every prospective juror (about 100 of us) stand, state our full name, educational level, occupation and spouse's occupation. And at nearly every turn, he would make a witty comment about the responses. Especially if the victim was a young woman.

(I've never seen anything like it and had I been selected I would have informed the judge that I could never convict someone of attempted murder knowing that he knows my full name.)

The gossip talk is when we lecture teach our children how utterly evil it is to say anything negative about another person, true or untrue. In their presence or not.

Or to listen to someone else saying it.

Or to hint.

Or to read about it.

This is one of those great ethical teachings of Judaism that we should label with a Jewish label - lashon hara - and praise the kids for avoiding it.

First question for your table: Why do people love to tell, hear and read about gossip?

Second question: Is it ever ethical to say something negative about someone?

Third question: Does it really matter that much?

Shabbat Shalom

PS - Want to get your family on board with ethical speech? Try sharing a few pages of this, this or this book (or the one in the easter-egg link above) every week at the Shabbat table.

PPS - The exceptions: when you're venting, or telling someone something to protect them, or telling a parent or teacher something in order to protect yourself.

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Come Sail Away

Check out our new Bar and Bat Mitzvah gift suggestions at bestjewishkidsbooks.com.

31-year-old Matt Rutherford just returned to Baltimore.

He sailed away 314 days earlier, towards New York. He returned with his bow still pointing north. How is that possible?

A: He circumnavigated the Americas, first person ever to do it solo.

23,000 miles. That's nearly the circumference of the Earth.

WYPR interviewed him the day before his dramatic arrival. He told of some pretty harrowing moments, like when an ocean liner missed him by a couple feet in the middle of the night.

But that kind of danger and treacherousness wasn't the worst part, Matt says. At some point during the trip, he told the Washington Post that he was experiencing a profound lonliness.

“Lonely to the point where anything living is comforting. A bird, a fish, even a barnacle. I think I’m beyond lonely.”

But that's not the Table-Talk reason for telling the story.

When he began, other world-class sailors described his attempt as practically suicidal.

“What Matt is trying to do, I’m absolutely blown away by it,” Herb McCormick said. “He’s doing this in a boat that, frankly, I’d be scared to sail from Newport to Bermuda. I’m in awe of the guy. This is such a mammoth undertaking, and to do it without stopping — alone — is mind-boggling.

Here's what he looked like at the homecoming.

Question for your table: What would motivate a person to do this?

Hint: He wasn't looking for a thrill, nor to make the record books, nor to prove himself.

Another hint: What would possibly motivate YOU to spend 314 days alone (never mind the danger)?

Shabbat Shalom.

13

13 years ago this week, a child was born.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Well, maybe like it was last year.

It was early Wednesday morning, before sunrise, in an unfamiliar Jerusalem neighborhood.

He had reddish hair from day 1, then later became blond.


He had his bris on day 8.

And every Passover for 13 years, we’ve watched him become more and more like the “wise child” at the Seder.

The Dvar Torah that he wrote for tomorrow has nothing to do with this week’s Torah portion.

It is an analysis of one detail in the Talmudic ethics of returning a lost-and-found object.

You and I – most people reading this blog – we were there once upon a time, when we were 12 or 13.

We were full of great potential.

By the way, we’re still full of great potential.

Old people sometimes need young people to remember that you’re never too old to change yourself or the world.

The kids and I sometimes make Friday night Kiddush at a nearby assisted-living home.

Most of the residents have extremely limited mobility.

The oldest resident is 107, the youngest 85.

They don’t always feel like they can change the world. They don't always look like they can change the world.

So I frequently point out to them that when they choose to smile at someone even thought they don’t feel like it, or refrain from speaking lashon hara, you changed the world.

Think about it.


Shabbat Shalom

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. - Churchill

PS - You'll appreciate this: Soldier, survivor have emotional reunion | detnews.com | The Detroit News