What's Your Burning Question?

The goal of this email is to light a fire under your Friday night dinner conversation. Please print and share.

One way I enjoy getting to know someone is to ask, What's your burning Jewish question?

Usually, they have one. They might have to sift some of that gray matter, but they usually already have one.

Today marks the beginning of Jewish Burning Question Month.

So the first question for your table: What's your burning Jewish question?

(Parents - one of the best answers to any burning question is, "That's a great question, I don't know!")

A couple days ago I had one of those burning quesiton moments with a nice Jewish boy in San Francisco.

His burning question led our conversation to a fascinating bit of Jewish wisdom.

In 1565, a scholar in Tsefat, northern Israel, named Rabbi Yosef Caro published an encyclopedia of Judaism called The Set Table.

It covers everything from ritual to business ethics to basics of philosophy.

Unlike some attempts before and after Rabbi Caro, his book was immediately and universally accepted as authoratative. No small feat!

Now, would it be interesting to know how the universally-accepted encyclopedia of everything Jewish begins?

How would you guess he starts this great opus? What area of Judaism will set the tone for the entire work?

The Shema? The Golden Rule?

Here's the opening line:

"A person should get out of bed in the morning like a lion."

Huh? What does that have to do with Judaism?

Ever see one of those nature videos on lions? Remember how they get up in the morning?

They yawn. They roll over. They hit the snooze button.

Is that what the good rabbi had in mind?

Or did he mean we should get up in the morning like a lion attacks!!!

Fine, but wha't so Jewish about that?

Evidently there has been new research in pyschology into the causes and consequences of procrastination.

Says DePaul University Professor Joseph Ferrari (great name for a procrastination researcher, no?):

“It’s an existentially relevant problem, because it’s not getting on with life itself. You only get a certain number of years. What are you doing?”
 

More on this next week.

In the meantime, even if you don't normally print this email, just do it. Share it with your dinner table. You only get a certain number of chances to engage everyone in meaningful conversation. Go ahead.....

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Shavuot


PS - Have you stocked up on summer-vacation books and toys for kids AND parents? Browse our recommendations at bestjewishkidsbooks.com .

The Leadership Cliff

The goal of this blog is to facilitate an engaging, Torah-based conversation at your Shabbat table. Don't bother reading it now - just print and share!


"The fiscal cliff: when congressmen who are protected from a pay cut decide what happens to everyone else." - Andy Borowitz
"Al Qaeda Disbands; Says Job of Destroying US Economy Now in Congress' Hands." - Andy Borowitz
"Let's just go over the cliff! Let's just go. Because, you know why? At least for a few seconds, it'll feel like we're flying." - Jon Stewart

OK stop me if you've heard this one:

A rabbi, a priest and a penguin walk into a fiscal cliff bar.
The bartender says to the rabbi, "What'll you have?"
The rabbi points to the priest and says, "Whatever he's having!"
So the bartender turns to the priest, "What'll you have?"
He in turn points to the penguin and says, "Whatever he's having!"
Finally he turns to the penguin and asks, "So what'll it be?"
The penguin shrugs and says, __________________

January contest - finish the joke! Use comments section to send your entry.



Now seriously... let's talk about leadership.

This week's question for your table — What are the qualities of a great leader?

Here's one way of going about it. On each of these alternatives, choose the one that you think is most important:

1. [A] Wise in all major matters of state v. [B] Relies on wisdom of advisors
2. [A] Upholds the letter of the law v. [B] Upholds the spirit of the law
3. [A] Doesn’t make serious mistakes v. [B] Admits mistakes and apologizes
4. [A] Clean background v. [B] Proverbial skeleton in the closet
5. [A] Commands respect and wields authority v. [B] Walks humbly
6. [A] Multicultural v. [B] Patriotic
7. [A] Fully developed skills v. [B] Able to learn on the job

OK, don’t peek below until you’ve made your choices...

Now, I’m not claiming these are the "right" answers, but it seems to me that the weight of Jewish thought would say:

1. B – When King David faced an unemployment problem, he consulted his wise men (who happened to be legislators and judges) on what to do. (He had the advantage of having a few card-carrying prophets around the palace, but they were more vocal about the king's morality than on economics.)

2. A and B. Tough job. He or she should keep a travel-size copy of the Constitution on hand at all times as a reminder that not even the King (or President) is above the law. (I'm not sure the Kindle or iPhone/iPad version would count...perhaps.)

3. B – no question about this – everyone makes mistakes. If we expect perfect leaders we are guaranteed scandals and cover-ups. If we let our leaders know we can forgive their errors as long as they own up to them, then we will have both more honesty and better role models.

4. The surprising answer here is B. The Talmud states this as a necessary quality for a successful head of government. The idea is to keep your leader from becoming arrogant. See Q. 5.

5. Tough one. How do you balance authority with humility?

6. The Executive should be patriotic but worldly. Legislators should be worldly but patriotic. Judges should be multilingual.

7. I'll leave this one unanswered here, but would be pleased to hear the answers from your table.


Shabbat Shalom 

PS - Thanks to everyone who recently launched or renewed a Table Talk partnership.

PPS - Speaking of multiculturalism: one of the most unusual multicultural videos you've ever seen.

As always, this message can be received via email - sign up at jsli.org. If you enjoyed this blog, please link to it, "like" it, tweet it, or merely send the link to others who may enjoy it.

Two Feets

What I'm about to relate may sound a little trite.

This week I did something that I've never done before, but some people I know have done it many times. (I wonder, now that I've done this, am I in the majority or the minority?)

Let's call it the peat-feat.

In addition, I managed to do something else that I haven't been able to do since I was about ten. Let's call it the feet-feat.

In this, I know for sure that I am now in the minority.

The first for me this week, the peat-feat... Believe it or not, I planted a vegetable garden.

Hard to believe, I know (that I'd never done this before).

Well, it always seemed such a chore, especially compared to going to the supermarket.

Inspired in part by our friend Marc in California (who could sell tickets to visit his garden) and in part by a need to give the kids something to do on Sunday afternoon, we trekked over to The Home Depot to pack the minivan with soil, manure and lumber to build a planting box.

Now, here's the best part of the story. Devorah (5 years old) has had her eye on a packet of flower seeds that has been sitting on a counter for who-knows-how-long. She asked me, "Can I plant these flowers too?"

"Sure, that's a great idea! Now let's go to Home Depot to get the soil."

So we get into the car and head down the alley when Devorah suddenly gets very agitated... "Oh no!!! Abba!!! We have to go back! I forgot something very important!"

She's practically in tears.

(Well, she's at that age where she's often practically in tears.)

"What did you forget?"

"I forgot the flower seeds!!!!"

And that's why it was so important that we plant a garden.

Question for your table: How important is it for kids to plant a garden? How about adults?

(Remember that kids' riddle - what's the first thing you plant in a garden? A: your foot... How does that go if you are using a raised bed?)

Achievement of the Week #2: The Feet-Feat

For the first time in at least 30 years, probably more, drum-roll please.....

I touched my toes.

Yes, that's what I mean - feet together, legs straight.

I've been working on this only three times a week for 5 months. If you want to know my technique, pop me an email.

Question #2 for your Table -

A. On a scale of 1-10, rate the importance of:

- a healthy, fit body
- a healthy, fit mind
- a healthy, fit soul

B. Then ask each person to rate themselves on their own fitness in these 3 areas.

C. Are you living according to your values?

Next week is Shavuot, which is the holiday that celebrates the idea that Jewish wisdom can teach us about all three. Best way to celebrate? Print out the Jewish book of wisdom and read it on Tuesday night.

(Email me your favorite quote from the above download and a reason why, and I'll send you a gift.)

Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sameach.

PS - if you haven't seen this recently, take 2 minutes and be uplifted:

Knowledge v. Wisdom

Congratulations to our friend Eric Swergold who is going solo as of January 1, 2011 in a new venture called Firestorm Capital. There's nothing harder, nor more rewarding, than "hanging out your shingle". More on this topic next week.

This week, an anecdote, 2 questions, and a story.

The anecdote:

One reader of last week's blog complained that the question, "Is this weekly Table Talk worth a nickel?" wouldn't really go over well at their Friday night dinner table, as not everyone there reads it.

I pointed out that they should consider last week like pledge week on NPR - you know, diminished content in order to remind you to send in your nickel.

Well, thank you to everyone who contributed a nickel (or more) to our non-profit mission, which is described here. Total Table Talk contributions for the end-of-the-year have reached nearly $2,000. Your generosity is quite literally making this and other programs possible.

Look at these two emails we received recently, the first is from someone less connected:

The Art of Amazement has resonated very well with me as its contents are directed at a number of principles I have already sought to incorporate into my life, and by citing Judaism as one of the greatest ways of achieving these goals it does a great deal to ease my hesitation in becoming a more connected Jew.

The second comes from someone who describes herself as "religious":

My friend and I were searching for a meaningful book on prayer. Your book "The Art of Kavanah" opened our eyes to the spiritual potential of our Judaism - the very spiritually that had pulled us into the fold, but gotten lost on ritual and rote.

Thank you for your publishing and your work in this area, your books have forever changed our relationship with Hashem.

(If you still want to put your nickel in the pushkeh (that's Yiddish for collection box), click here.)

Also, thank you to everyone who completed the 2-minute annual Table Talk reader survey, which is extremely helpful to us in creating this and other services. You can still find it here.

This reader's question (above) prompted me to wonder about the following question...

Question 1 — What's the difference between knowledge and wisdom?

Try asking that at the table, and see what people say.

It seems to me that knowledge is information and wisdom is the ability to process information and make decisions.

What's interesting is that most people are willing to pay for knowledge but fewer seem willing to pay for wisdom.

For example, people will pay a lot of money to learn how to make money. But every year I find that only a minority will contribute a nickel a week to learn how to live a meaningful life.

This observation leads to...

Question 2 - Why is that?

(I have two theories, but would like to hear yours.)


Shabbat Shalom

...with blessings for a happy, healthy and fruitful 2011!

PS... we are now putting an amazing-video-of-the-week on our homepage - you'll love this one!

PPS - I'm sure I mentioned my new iphone/ipod/ipad app, right?

The goal of this blog is to give you a conversation-starter for your Friday night dinner table. Please print and share.

Jew-Jitsu

Happy Birthdays this week and next to Lily and Suzanne - neither of you have hit your prime yet, but keep up the great work - you're getting there! (;-)>
Two amazing things for you this week:

When the Arab Street rises up, the Jewish Street looks for somewhere to hide.

We shall cower no more.

Background: People frequently ask me about the compatibility of Judaism with Eastern traditions, including Buddhism, Yoga and the martial arts.

As you may know, the first two I deal with in The Art of Amazement and in several classes such as this.

Today, for the first time, here's something about the martial arts.

Some believe (based on passages in Tanach) that King David's soldiers practiced a form of martial arts.

There is a small but growing movement to restore or recreate an authentic Torah martial arts (Torah-do?).

And we're not talking IDF here. Check this out:



See more here: http://www.abirwarriorarts.com/en

This leads to 2 questions for your table....

1. After looking at that link and those videos, do you buy it?
2. Do we need a "Jewish martial arts"?


Shabbat Shalom

Five Years

In memory of Dovid ben Eliezer: tragedy, wisdom, greatness and Jerry Seinfeld

+ + + +

Five years ago yesterday, my father passed away.

He had been up on a ladder, trimming "one last branch", preparing the house for our visit a week later.

One leg of the 4-leg ladder was over the dirt. As you go up a ladder, your center of gravity moves towards the back. The right rear leg did not have solid ground under it to support his weight.

When my father died so suddenly, many hundreds of people felt that they had lost a father or a brother. They lost a person who was not just central to our lives, but essential to our lives and to the community. The shock we felt was the shock that someone would feel if he woke up without his left arm.

When people start talking about my dad, certain qualities come up again and again:

Personable
Professional
Empathetic
Zealous
Charitable
Easy-going
Humble

These are all words that described my father and probably only the tip of an iceberg. They were all true, and just about any anecdote you tell about him shows that.

In my father's memory, I'm going to focus over three weeks on three qualities that are not on the list, that you did not hear people say, but I think that when you hear the depth of the concepts, you will agree that this is who my father was, and what we should all strive to be.

My father had a very Talmudic way of discussion. He called it Socratic. But you know, he didn’t realize how very Jewish he was. (Or did he? The beard – so he claimed – was because it was so much easier than shaving every day — that’s what I claim too.)

So at his funeral, in my father's own Talmudic fashion, I asked the hundreds of mourners about these three qualities:

Was my father a wise man?
Was he a strong man?
Was he a rich man?

The first one’s easy to answer – climbed too high on a ladder? Mmm, no, not wise. Scratch that one off the list.

No really, what’s wisdom in the Talmudic sense, not according to Webster’s?

There were mourners that day, five years ago, who remembered him as a kid.

His 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Marsh, had a different perspective on his social skills, writing that he “could show more initiative and exercise leadership by looking ahead and anticipating situations,” in other words, he was short-sighted, not able to see the outcome of situations. However, Mrs. Marsh was also confident that he would develop those qualities as the elected class chairman….

By the spring, she reported that he indeed had.

The Talmud asks, “What does it mean to be wise?” and of course when a rabbi asks you that question, you know that the right answer is not “knowing a lot of stuff.”

The Talmud gives two answers.

The first is: “Someone who foresees the outcome.”

This ability was my father’s strong suit. He was the kind of person you love to have on your committee and you hate to have on your committee at the same time. You love to have him there because he asks the tough questions. You hate having him there because he asks the tough questions. He had not only the ability but the all-important tenacity to ask the tough questions, to push us – believe you me, his children included – to consider all the possible outcomes. He taught this to us, and those who were good disciples learned to do so naturally.

The Talmud’s second definition of wisdom: Someone who learns from every other person.

It’s a remarkable statement, if you understand Hebrew. The language is clear, it doesn’t mean every other man, nor every other Jew, nor every other adult: it means every other human being.

Is there a better description of my father’s relationship toward other human beings?

All he wanted from people was to hear their ideas, their beliefs, their hopes and dreams – from the elderly to young children. My father was a feminist before anyone talked about feminism (although I suspect he may have picked some of this up from someone he met in college), he was the trailblazer whose equal treatment of others was so natural to himself that it disarmed you if you weren’t used to it. Even when two of his children went by Tacoma standards completely nuts, if he was judgmental, he kept it to himself, he certainly didn’t ever make us feel ashamed of having chosen a different path than his own.

His ability to learn from others was a key to his successful relationships, because of all people, my dad had so few, if any pretensions. He was not impressed by anything that Madison Avenue would have impress us. Money didn’t impress him. Status was irrelevant to him. His definition of success was hard work, strict ethics and a good heart.

I remember when Jerry Seinfeld came to Tacoma. It was 1984 or 85, I think. Dad couldn’t care less that Jerry was a comedian – what mattered to him was that here was another Seinfeld and we didn’t know of any other Seinfelds before then. So he went to meet the guy, and years later flew down to LA for a taping of the show, because he was family.

This wisdom I think is what drove his passion for Tacoma Community College. I don’t remember him more proud than when he told me about the award ceremony where they would honor students who had come from nothing – no education, no money, no support – and graduated from TCC. Displaced people, people with no direction, who found their way. He loved getting to know the student, finding out their story.

Finally, he set up a scholarship fund there, not at one of his own prestigious colleges but at TCC where he felt he could help the most people.

The point of recalling the greatness of a person is to remind us that if he could do it, so can you and I.


Shabbat Shalom

“It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see.” – Churchill

(PS – one word about tzedakah – my Dad and Mom raised their children with this value from a very young age: Give a substantial portion of your income – even 10% - back to the community. He was quite pleased when I told him one day that that’s a recipe right out of the Torah.)

Something New

Dedicated to Eric Most, who needs to be healed, quickly and completely, along with all those who need healing.

This week: a challenge, an announcement, and an inspiration.


The Challenge

At this time of year, most non-profits are holding out the hat. Get in that last-minute tax deduction! (who needs more tax deductions THIS year??)

If you are a long-term subscriber, you know that I have a different year-end message for you. I seek your wisdom, rather than you nickel.

Kindly take a few minutes to answer 10 questions - click here.

(all anonymous, so be brutally honest!)

If you are so inclined, this website rates non-profits. You can help us by clicking here and tell them what you think of JSL.

(If you need a reminder of the scope of JSL’s work, click here)

Thank you!


The Announcement

After some six months of labor, I am pleased to announce the launch of the fourth edition of the Art of Amazement. It has been completely revised and expanded, and now includes a study schedule and extremely useful index, not to mention a snazzy new cover. If you have one of the old editions, you’re probably going to enjoy the new. If you know someone who might enjoy it and have been wondering where to get a new copy, search no more. And if you’ve never read it....I, I just don’t know what to say!

Here’s your Amazon link:

http://www.tinyurl.com/NewArtofAmazement


The Inspiration

I know that you may not always take the time to watch at the amazing videos I post here, I know they can’t be printed out for sharing at the dinner table, but please make this one of the ones you look at. You will not be disappointed:



It’s so special it isn’t even on youtube.

You can tell the folks at your table about it and ask them this question: Why do you think people were so inspired by Alon Nir?

Shabbat Shalom and l'chaim in 2010


Do not let spacious plans for a new world divert your energies from saving what is left of the old. - Churchill

Life is a Test, Revisited

Please help support the victims and the families of the mass shooting by sending a check here:

The Central Texas-Fort Hood Association of the U.S. Army
Attn.: Community Response to 11/5
P.O. Box 10700
Killeen, TX 765478-0700


God said to Abraham, want you to kill me a son
Abe said man, you must be puttin' me on
God said No
Abe said What
God said you can do what you want Abe but
Next time you see me comin' you'd better run....
Abe said where do you want this killin' done
God said out on Highway Sixty-One....

- Bob Dylan (Robert Zimmerman)

(If you want to hear the song, link below.)

When a great tragedy occurs, some people sometimes ask me, "What does Jewish wisdom have to say about this?"

As if that question weren't hard enough, there's usually some smart-alex who adds, "Doesn't the Talmud say that wisdom is the ability to learn from everyone? What can we learn from this mass murderer?"

Maybe that's the question for your table - what can we possibly learn from Nidal Hasan?

You know, he was a religious person of a certain persuasion, who in all likelihood believed he was doing a religiously meaningful act.

Here's the thing - we all have books. They have their book, we have our book. Even the secular humanists have their book(s). We all turn to our respective books for wisdom.

His book tells him that he is a descendant and disciple of Abraham. That means submission to God's will.

My book tells me that I am a descendant and disciple of Abraham. My book also tells me that one of Abraham's greatest traits was submission to God's will. But my book also tells me that Abraham was a complex person, and emulating him includes acting with compassion towards all people.

Hmm.... So if you want to be a good disciple, what do you do when you believe that God wants you to hurt someone?

My book tells me that we look for every loophole to avoid hurting someone (when not in self-defense).

My book also tells me that being a vigilante (acting on my own, without consulting a higher authority) leads to evil. Not just in the area of violence, but in all areas.

So whose book is right? Can they both be right? Maybe his book is "right for him" and my book is "right for me"?

But the deeper Jewish wisdom on this subject is to turn the spotlight on myself: Am I pursuing the wisdom of my book with the same passion that he is pursuing his?

We are slumbering....time to wake up.

Shabbat Shalom