"Bla Bla Bla"

The purpose of this blog is to cultivate refinement at the Shabbat table. Please share.
In memory of Ezekiel ben Elana z''l.

Here's a great question for your dinner table:

What is a "refined" person?

The Talmud tells of a certain Rabbi Alexandri, one of my personal favorites, who famously called out, "Who wants life? Who wants life?"

The people gathered around him and said, "Give us life, Rebbe (i.e., teach us)!"

"Guard your tongue from evil and your mouth from deceit....turn from the bad and toward the good."

Three questions about this lesson.

1. Why does R' Alexandri ask the question two times?
2. Why does he focus on speech, among all other human activities and faculties?
3. Does this teaching imply that we should all sleep as much as possible? When you're sleeping you are not able to speak lashon hara nor to lie.

A1 — The repetition implies two kinds of life - in this world and the next. Many things we do improve our life in this world, and many things we do improve our life in the next. Only a few mitzvahs directly impact both worlds.

A2 — Speech is our most human faculty. While all animals (and some plants!) communicate, human speech is fundamentally different (and this). gives us the greatest potential for holiness.

A3 — Pay attention to the second half of what R' Alexandri says - "turn from the bad and toward the good" means more than avoiding bad speech. It means cultivating good speech.

Question for your table - What types of speech are "good"?



Shabbat Shalom

 

PS - Tonight/tomorrow is the 9th of Av (short video). However, the fast is postponed until after Shabbat.

PPS - For some of the greatest Jewish speeches, click on the pic above.

PPPS - If you haven't already, please share barmitzvahalbum.com with your network.

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The Dynamic Duo

The purpose of this email is to provide something creative for dinner table conversation. Please print and share.

You may have noticed that I don't often use this space to comment on the news.

There are massacres committed daily in distant lands.

There are natural disasters that boggle the mind.

There is rampant thievery. And poverty. And disease.

I would like this message to be a mini refuge from the "news" which is invariably bad news. For some reason, our journalists feel that we are mainly interested in hearing the bad news. It used to be because "bad news sells." But is that still true today?

But there's something particularly disturbing to me about this Batman massacre.

Maybe it's the image of these innocent people settling down for some truly innocent pleasure.

Rather than only shake our heads, let's see if we can gain something positive from this evil.

This story hit close to home. Maybe, if nothing else, we can allow ourselves to be reminded that every moment is truly precious, how each day may indeed be one's last.

We should therefore live each day as if it were our last.

If you knew this were going to be your last day, what would you do?

Would you savor your food?

Would you hug your kids?

Would you say I love you to anyone?

Would you say I'm sorry to someone?

Would you do an act of kindness?

Would you try to control your anger/impatience/anxiety - just for the day? Go out on a high note?

Would you turn off the TV and learn a little wisdom?

Notice the dynamic here?

The self is a fusion of two forces: my centrifugal drive to connect to others and to the world, and my centripetal drive to suck the world into myself (ego). This is a true dynamic duo!

Enlightenment is a measure of how well a person remains aware of this dynamic duo, of what truly matters. What matters is both what you do but also how you do it.

That's my two-bits (as my grandfather would have said). What's yours?


Shabbat Shalom

PS -Here is a video I just made related to this topic. This is a rough draft. I'd like to re-do it with a fancier production, but would like to hear your feedback first:

PPS - This Shabbat is the 9th of Av - Tisha B'Av. The fast is put off until Saturday night. To learn more, click here.

The iPhone app: http://tinyurl.com/amazingcalendarlink
Android version: http://tinyurl.com/amazingandroidcalendar
Bar and Bat Mitzvah gift suggestions at bestjewishkidsbooks.com (a service of JSL).

Tree of Life

This week: gladiators!

But first, congratulations to Marc Sarosi, who completed with me learning the entire Chumash this week. Next week: the dramatic book of Joshua.

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In honor of the occasion, I created a new chart to explain how the various parts of what we call “Torah” all fit together.

It’s called “The Torah Tree” and you can download it for free here.

Last week, in conjunction with my father’s fifth yarzeit, I asked “What is wisdom?”

This week, the question for your table is, What does it mean to be “strong”?

In the Mishna (try locating it on the Torah Tree diagram), “strong” (like “wise” last week) has a very non-conventional definition.

The conventional notion of strong is physical strength. This week the BBC reports that archaeologists believe that ancient remains they found in York had died from brutal blows known to be common in gladiatorial contests.

For all of human history, physical strength and prowess have been celebrated. Today is no exception.

The Survivor shows do not reward contestants who keep their cool, only those who outwit the others.

But the Tree-of-Life definition of a strong person is “someone who controls their urges”.

No one who knew my father ever called him “dispassionate”. He was quite passionate. His passion led him to Mississippi in 1963 to join the civil rights movement. His passion made him a lifelong best friend to many. His passion led him to be a regular consumer of music, art museums and great literature.

But he never lost control. He never lost his temper. He never acted brashly. When he worked on one of his many carpentry projects, he always used pencil and paper to plan it properly. He made mistakes, but always took them in stride. He never hesitated to say, "I'm sorry."

The point of recalling the greatness of a person is to remind us that if he could do it, so can you and I.

Second question for your table, in honor of Marc and all of you out there who learn with me, whether weekly or only periodically: What’s the difference between “studying” and “learning”?


Shabbat Shalom


“Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong.” – Churchill


PS – the fast of the 9th of Av (Tisha B’Av) falls Monday night through Tuesday. Here is a short video to make it meaningful:


(If you would like Tisha B’Av readings, send me an email.)


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