The Honest Abe in You

The goal of this blog is to bring some straight-talk to the Friday night dinner table....
In memory of my father - Dovid ben Eliezer - who's 11th yahrzeit was observed this week.

I hope you and your table enjoyed the Abe Lincoln riddle last week.

To the left is a glimpse into the past - my father back in the day.

For years, people told him he looked like Abe.

After years of people needling him about it, he made himself a cardboard stovepipe hat and played the role.

What do you think?

Here's the thing.

They didn't just resemble each other physically. My father also could have easily had the nickname, "Honest". He was simply a straight shooter.

Here's an example:

If he made a mistake, and realized it, he had no problem uttering the three hardest-to-say words in the English language:

"I was wrong."

Nor the two runners-up:

"I'm sorry."

In his memory, I would like to challenge you to this one tiny challenge.

Sometime this weekend, lock yourself in the bathroom, look in the mirror, and practice saying those two phrases over and over, until they roll off your tongue as naturally as leaves to a tree.

Seriously! Try it.

"I was wrong. I'm sorry!"
To err is human, to own up to it is divine.


Shabbat Shalom

PS - Hidden somewhere in this message is a link to a great Lincoln book for summer reading.


PPS - Have you thought about sending your favorite teacher or school one of these: teachamazingnature.com.


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It Was 10 Years Ago

The goal of this blog is to provoke deeper dinner-table discussion. Please print and share with someone tonight.
Happy Birthday to our friend Pinchas in Jerusalem!

Bill Cosby has done me a big favor.

Mr. Father-Figure has made it really easy for me to speak about my real father.

Ten Years ago this coming Sunday (on the Jewish calendar), my father was on a ladder.

He was trimming a tree.

He was preparing for our visit a week later.

He just had to get that one last branch.

My mother was by his side when he fell, and stayed by his side all the way to the hospital, the rest of the day and into the night when he died.

"To everything there is a season... a time to be born and a time to die" (Ecclesiastes).

The 1,000 people at his funeral all felt that it was too early for him to die.

In honor of his 10th yahrzeit, I am planning a special memorial Table Talk next week.

This week, prior to the yahrzeit, I would like to share one thought about his short life, followed by a question for your table.

This morning, the pundits are of course all talking about William Henry Cosby, Jr.

How he had represented the ideal of fatherhood.

How he had been a personal role model for so many people.

Now civil rights leaders are asking them to remove his star from the Hollywood sidewalk.

"Not gonna happen," says Walk-of-Fame apologist Leron Gubler.

Gubler, Hollywood Chamber of Commerce president and chief executive, says that there is nothing a celebrity can do, no matter how despicable, to change his star status.

If you can make millions of people laugh*, Hollywood shall honor you forever.

What does all of this have to do with my father?

Welll, quite simply, he didn't have 1,000 people at his funeral because he made them laugh.

Question for your table:

What kind of people do you want to come to your funeral

(a) those who love you because you're funny, or rich and famous?
(b) those who love you because you have lived a life of honesty and integrity?


Shabbat Shalom

"Who is truly honorable? He who honors others." (Avot 4:1)

"There are 3 'crowns': The crown of the Torah (i.e., wisdom), the crown of the priesthood (i.e., spiritual greatness), and the crown of kingship (i.e., poltical leadership), but the crown of a good name surpasses them all." (Avot 4:17)

PS - This just came to my inbox: https://www.facebook.com/WBTVMollyGrantham/videos/1059035014106981/
Highly recommended 10-minute viewing on today's theme. Narrated by Tom Hanks.


* (and an undesclosed number of studio executives rich)

 

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Honestly!

This is a true story that happened to me last week.

I had bought a certain item from a local store that I ended up not needing. After driving around for a few weeks with the item in the trunk of my car, I finally found myself both in the right place and with a few extra minutes to return the item.

You see, it was not a very expensive item, under $10.

Now, I didn't have a lot of time, just about 5 minutes or so, in order to make it to a meeting.

Fortunately, the store wasn't very busy at that time of the morning, only one person in front of me at the register.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten the receipt. Worse, it was evidently this employees first day on the job, as she didn't know what to do.

She called her manager, who came over and taught her how to do a store credit.

The time was ticking away, but I still had a few minutes.

After she rang it up, I suddenly remembered that I had bought this item for JSL, a non-profit oranization, and had not paid tax.

"Wait a minute, I didn't pay tax on this."

Too late, she had already completed the return.

Do you think she knew what to do?

She called the manager again, who came over.

"He bought this tax-free, but I already rang it up, what should I do?"

The manager looked at the receipt. The "tax" that I had been refunded was 54¢.

"Can you ring it up again?"

"No, it's too hard, and it's such a small amount, don't worry about it," the manager decided.

This made me very uncomfortable. It doesn't say, "Thou shalt not steal a large amount of money." This was money that didn't belong to me or the organization.

On the one hand, the Talmud says that one should be extremely careful with other people's money. An ethical person should never want a penny that doesn't rightfully belong to them.

On the other hand, I was in a hurry.

And now I have a store credit for more money than I should.

2 Questions for your table:

1. Am I being neurotic or appropriately ethical sensitive?
2. If the latter, what should I do?


Shabbat Shalom

Kosher Talk

Dedicated to Yaakov ben Ora Belka, may he have a speedy recovery.

This guy brings a small bottle of milk to the yeshiva to enjoy with his coffee. He puts a note on it: “Enjoy this milk, but please do not use last quarter-inch.”

When he goes for his 11 am coffee, to his dismay he finds the bottle empty.

The next day, he makes a larger note, so it will be crystal-clear.

Same thing happens – someone finishes the milk.

The third day, he tries a different note: “You may enjoy this milk but not the last quarter-inch – doing so constitutes geneiva (theft).”

Guess what happens? At 11 am the bottle is empty!

The fourth day, he tries an entirely different tactic. He puts a note on the bottle: “CHALAV STAM” (unsupervised milk).

Guess what happens?

At 11 am, he finds the bottle full.

Some of us are more careful about what we put into our mouths than what comes out of our mouths, or how we treat others.

If you keep kosher and dress and act religious but knowingly gossip or cheat or steal, you are a fraud.

On the other hand, if you don’t keep kosher but never asked what that means, then you are not living up to your potential.

Shabbat Shalom

PS -

Here is a short video about the Land of Milk and Honey:


Here is Ambassador Yoram Ettinger speaking plainly about reality in the Land of Israel:





The goal of Table Talk is to give you a conversation-starter for the Friday night dinner table. Please print and share.


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