The Real Deal

The goal of this blog is to bring a reality-check to your Shabbat table.... please print and share.

Did you notice last week when I gave a shout-out to my buddy BJ in Mississippi?

Some have wondered who in the world I'm talkin' 'bout. 

This week I called him to wish him happy birthday and now I've got the bug again.
 
The gentleman to your left is the man.

We met on the first day of summer 25 years ago when he rescued me in his cream-colored Buick from the 99 percent humidity of Jackson, Mississippi.

 As we cruised up I-65 (barely more than a stone's throw from Highway 61), the sky darkened so quickly I thought there must be an eclipse. 

Suddenly it was raining so hard you got wet just lookin' at it. 

The temperature plunged to a cool 78°.

Pulling into town, he pointed to the Vaiden (sounds like maiden) water tower, sayin', "There ain't been too many times in my life I been outta sight of that water tower there."
 
That was the start of many adventures together....

For now, here's his interview explaining why he gave up his salary in order to help his school district stay afloat.

And here he is in last Friday's report on Mississippi's public school crisis.

Here's his contact info in case you want to give him a virtual high-five or donate some books to the poor kids of Carroll County, Mississippi.

Or in case you want to wish him a happy birthday.

(Or in case you have a blind date for him.)

(When he came to our wedding in Jerusalem 19 years ago, we were at a big Friday night dinner. Afterwards, a Hasidic woman in attendance, a matchmaker, asked me incredulously, "Why isn't he married?????")

He's the real deal, as they say down in Mississippi.

In "Jewish" (as my grandmother would have said), we say, he's a mensch.
 


Here's this week's question for you and your table:

What makes a person the "real deal"?


Shabbat Shalom

PS - Do you know how many days til Hannuka?

PPS - If you're fixin' to visit, you may wanna check out the Vaiden visitor's guide.

Like this blog? How about voting with your finger: Like it, tweet it, or just forward it.

Jew, Jewish, Hebrew, Yid?

Bar and Bat Mitzvah gift suggestions at bestjewishkidsbooks.com (a service of JSL).



This week's Table Talk comes in 3 parts, beginning and ending with a question for your table.

Question: Did you ever know someone uncomfortable identifying as "Jewish"?

I remember my first day in Mississippi, where I accepted a high school teaching job right out of college, at a rural school.

That first day, in late June, the air was so heavy that walking outside felt like you'd feel if you took a bath with your clothes on.

My boss, the inimitable Billy Joe Ferguson, took me on a tour of my new home-away-from-home, the blistery-hot, plastery-white Vaiden High School.

We bumped into the gym teacher, Coach Gant.

James Gant was a tall, muscular 30-something man, graying early but handsomely. He seemed friendly enough, but suddenly asked me a question that made my heart beat a bit faster.

Looking down on me, he drawled, real slow, "Seinfeld? What sort of name is that?"

Looking up at him, trying to discern whether there was anything remotely threatening in his voice, I piped, "German?"

"Oh. Ah din know if it was German or Jewish or what."

(I wasn't wearing a yarmulke at the time.)

I haven't thought much about this encounter with my self-ID but a conversation yesterday brought it rushing back.

Part 2:

Yesterday someone asked me, "When did the term 'Jew' become au currant? It's not in the Torah is it?"

Once upon a time, a Jew was an "Hebrew" (Ivri) or an "Israelite".

But by the 5th Century BCE, Judah was the only landed Israelite tribe left standing. So "Juda-ite" or "Judean" or "Jew" won the test of time.

Jerusalem was in Judea, so "Judean" or "Jew" persisted.

But something interesting happened in the eary history of the USA.

According to this recent article in the Atlantic, post-Civil War Jewish immigrants to the USA thought that if they could get a new ethnic name, they'd be able to diffuse the antisemitic prejudice that seems to follow us everywhere.

So they called themselves "Hebrews" or "Israelites" for a few decades, until resurgent ethnic pride made it cool - or at least cooler - to be a Jew.




Part 3:

Last week, someone I know was visiting a certain Jew who is living the good life, retired, healthy, and married to a somewhat religious Christian woman. Needless to say, this man's Jewish identity is not outwardly very strong. In fact, it would appear to be non-existent. Moreover, he is not a Jewish person who has discarded his Judaism or Jewish identity. He was raised that way, with zero Jewish education or affiliation.

In the course of this visit, the conversation turned to politics and the president's declaration about gay marriage.

Listen to what this disconnected, completely assimilated Jewish man said:

"When they want to talk about special treatment of the Jews, then we can talk about special treatment of the gays."

Question for your table: Where did that come from?


Shabbat Shalom

and Happy Feast of Weeks (what's that?)


(don't eat too much cheesecake)


  

The Next Generation

In memory of Eidla bas Avraham Yonah, who lived to the age of 95, as sharp as she was growing up in Memphis. She was a role model for the idea that you're never too old to learn something new.

If you missed last week's post on the war in Gaza, see the "Here, Israel" link to the right - including how to "adopt" a soldier.


This week: a comment, a story, a story, and a question.

The comment:

I was in San Francisco this week and someone wanted to know: What is the Jewish view of the new leadership in Washington?

The question reminds me of a story, my first day teaching public school in rural Mississippi.

Fresh out of college on the West Coast, I'd never been to the South before. Some of my mostly-black students were suspicious of me for my whiteness as were some of my white neighbors (for my choosing to teach black students. (Most were just surprised that an outsider had taken interest in their little corner of the world.)

The students let me know that what they wanted most from me was to treat them "normal". What the white people wanted most from me was not to make waves. I never had any problems with anyone who met me, only those who saw me from afar, or heard about me.

For example, I once heard through the grapevine that some folks were talking about me because they saw me talking in a friendly way to a certain black person in the grocery store.

Similarly, once I had to call the father of one of my more challenging students in to school to discuss his son's behavior. His son, Toby, was rude to me and often refused to follow directions. The father was six-foot-two and spoke with a deep, slow voice. He came in wearing the dusty clothes of a lumberjack. had to take time off from his low-paying job, and this displeased him.

He spoke to me so deliberately it sounded like he was putting a comma between every word, "I, hear, you, are, too, hard, on, the, children."

It is no accident that Jewish people have been at the forefront of civil rights movements around the world. We should look at Obama's presidency as a great victory for Jewish values. Our vision of leadership is a meritocracy, period.

Or that's the way it's supposed to be at least.

Here's a mini Talmudic story you can tell at your dinner table:

On Yom Kippur, the High Priest used to make a giant break-the-fast feast. Everyone knew and believed that what he did in the Temple that day was on their behalf. So when he came out successfully, the crowd would cheer and escort him. Remember, the High Priesthood can only be held by a direct male descendant of Aaron, Moses's brother. No one else need bother apply.

One Yom Kippur, while being escorted by such a crowd, there was a sudden commotion through the crowd, and all of the people suddenly abandoned him to follow two scholars who had been seen passing down a side street. These were not just any two scholars - they were Shemayah and Abtalion, the greatest of the generation. And they were both descended from converts.

Question for your table - how do you interpret this story? What does it say about merit versus peerage?

(Question for children: How do you decide whom to be friends with? How do the other kids in your class decide?)

I was in record warm weather in San Francisco this week, to return to weather so cold it feels like we're headed for a record low. But things are supposed to warm up next week in Washington...


Shabbat Shalom

PS - sometimes we combine scholarship and royalty - have you heard of the royal rabbi from Swaziland? See also rabbigamedze.com.

Here he is telling his story: