The Call of the Child?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Aug 30-31, 2024 • 27 Av 5784 • Re'eh (Deut 11-13).

First question for your table: Do you know anyone who suffers from choice-anxiety?

(Evidently related to analysis paralysis.)

Anxiety is the most common mental health disorder and anxiety over making choices is one of the most common forms of anxiety.

But can you guess which group of people almost never have anxiety?

Young children.

Why is that?

Last week I had the opportunity to study this phenomenon at close range when spending some quality time with my grandchildren.

If you haven't spent time with a 2- or 3-year-old lately, I highly recommend you find an opportunity to do so. Doesn't have to be your own child or grandchild; you'll get the same pleasure regardless.

And the inspiration: they're always busy, and they're always happy.

Question for your table: Are they busy because they're happy, or are they happy because they're busy?

One thing I know for sure — they don't suffer from any anxiety over choices. 

Apparently, many adults do. 

Indeed, research that has shown that too many choices make us miserable.

But if you think more deeply about it, you'll realize that we actually have infinite opportunities for choices. Every moment we can choose where to direct our eyes and other senses and our every step. 

So why don't people with choice-anxiety find all of these micro-choices as debilitating as the macro-choices?

I think that the answer is quite simple: the micro-choices don't bother us because they're not really choices at all.

If you're driven by a mission — like a child going after a toy — then you'll choose to do right now something that takes you in that direction.

For example, when someone rings the doorbell, you don't have to think about which foot you'll step with first, because you're focused on the mission of answering the door.

If you're not driven by a mission, you're more likely choosing reactively - based on what makes you more comfortable.

That's the ultimate choice: meaning versus comfort.

And it's immediate: what you're going to do, or think, right now. 

We're now four weeks away from Rosh Hashanah. After a harrowing year as a Jewish People, this Rosh Hashanah feels like one of the most momentous ever.

What kind of new year do you hope to have? Are you a better human being now than you were a year ago? What kind of person do you want to be a year from now? If you had to stand before a judge or jury and justify getting another year of life, what would you say?

Are you going to seek meaning or comfort?

Shabbat Shalom

and

Chodesh Tov

This week's Table Talk also appears online at https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/author/alexander-seinfeld/    

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

The Case of the Extra Mezuzah

Table Talk for your Shabbat table from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Aug 23-24, 2024 • 20 Av 5784 • Eikev (Deut 7-11).

On an online Jewish forum this week, someone asked,

My friend gifted me a mezuzah. But I already have one on my door. Any ideas of what I should do with the extra one?

Question for your table: How would you respond to this person?

Here's what I said: How many doorways are in your home (not counting bathrooms)?

There is a myth out there that we only put a mezuzah on the front door. Some have extended this myth to include the back door.

The mitzvah is: "on the doorposts of your house." 

Bedroom doors, kitchen doors, living room doors, walk-in closets, basement steps, every doorway other than bathrooms.

Myth #2 is that the box is the mezuzah. The box is the box, the parchment inside is the mezuzah. The parchment inside is a mini Torah scroll, handwritten by a Scribe with Torah-quality parchment and Torah-quality ink and Torah-quality precise lettering.

Since the scroll is the main thing, I personally prefer either glass or even the waterproof transparent plastic mezuzah cases because I like to see the scroll as I pass by. 

(For a nice set - case and kosher scroll together - click the image above.)

Did you hear about the newlyweds who were gifted an entire set of mezuzah's for their new home? When the husband came home his wife proudly showed him the splendid artisan gift. Then she said, "They came with looked like Hebrew instructions, but since neither of us reads Hebrew, I through them away."

Question for your table: Does it really matter whether there is a mezuzah on just the front door versus on every doorway?


Shabbat Shalom

PS - For a recommendation of where to buy mezuzah scrolls, send me an email.

PPS - Have you seen our new incomparable iPhone app ???

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Shabbat Shalom 

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Et Tu...?

Table Talk for your Shabbat table from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Aug 16-17, 2024 • 13 Av 5784 • V'eschanan (Deut 3-7).

As a follow-up to our Shakespeare theme a couple weeks ago, here's a quick trivia question for your Shabbat table:

Who said, "Et tu, Brute?"

The answer is, of course, Julius Caesar.

Or, should I say, the Julius Caesar of William Shakespeare's imagination. 

Or should I say, Julius Caesar as imagined by the author of the eponymous play attributed to William Shakespeare (and if that topic intrigues you, check out this excellent take on it).

OK, we remember from high school English class that it is indeed Julius Caesar saying the only line we remember from the play: "Et tu Brute?" Second question - In what context does he say it?

These are of course his dying words as he is being stabbed by the conspirators.

Third question: What do the words mean?

Answer: "You too, Brutus?"

Fourth question: What's that supposed to mean?

Answer: If, you, my close friend Brutus, are among the conspirators, then I truly have no friends in the world and I might as well die.

Sounds pretty tragic to me.

But in Hebrew, the word Tu has an entirely different meaning.

It means 15 (as in the number).

You may have heard of Tu Bishvat - the 15th of Shevat (month) - our Arbor Day (around late January).

But have you heard of Tu B'Av - the 15th of Av?

That's this coming Sunday.

What's it all about? The diametric opposite of Caesar's death — it's all about brotherly/sisterly love.

It's when maidens and young men used to go out to the fields and try to make matches for marriage.

Sounds a bit like a Shakespearian comedy?

But what made it a time of love was not the match-making.

The more affluent girls would share outfits with the less affluent girls, so that everyone would be looking her best and equally attractive.

Think about it. 

To me, that's something awesome.

Do we have people like that today, who go against their own self-interest to help someone else succeed?

If they're out there, I would love to meet them.

Question for your table: Is that kind of personality a function of parents and education, or a conscious choice?


Shabbat Shalom

PS - For some easy ideas on how to spread the love, click on the pic above.

PPS - Invited to a bar mitzvah but don't know what to bring? Check out our barmitzvahalbum.com. Looking for a daily dose of Jewish wow? Check out our incomparable iPhone app.

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Shabbat Shalom 

The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

The App Came Back The Very Next Day...

Table Talk for your Shabbat table from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Aug 9-10, 2024 • 6 Av 5784 • Devarim (Deut 1-3).

After months of tweaking, yesterday we launched a major update to....

The Amazing Jewish Fact-a-Day Calendar (for iPhone and iPad).

Here's the link (or tap the image):

Among the improvements is a new SHARE button which will send a screenshot to the channel you choose.

What is this app all about?

It's nothing short of the world's coolest Jewish app.

Really? Arguably yes:

• It will amaze you literally every day (you choose the time!)
• Guaranteed that you will learn something new, regardless of how educated you are.
• Daily links to more cool content.
• Certain facts coordinated with times of the year (for instance, during these days leading up to Tisha B'Av, there are amazing Jewish facts about conflict and Antisemitism). 
• The only app (out of 2 million) that doesn't work on Shabbat.

Honestly, could a Jewish app be cooler than that?

Is there someone in your life who might enjoy a minute of Jewish amazement? Send them the link! 

Question for your table: What's the most amazing Jewish fact that you ever heard?

(If you send it in, and we include it in the app, we'll credit you and you'll be famous!)

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.

To Tell You The Truth....

Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

Aug 2-3, 2024 • 28 Tamuz 5784 • Matos-Maasei (Num 32-36).

In memory of my father Dovid ben Eliezer z''l whose 19th yahrzeit was observed this week.

An actual exchange on a Whatsapp group the other day:

— Going to Israel next week - any recommendations for berachos from Rebbes for my family?
— Get a berachah from any serving soldier!

What's this idea of going to a Rebbe to get a berachah (blessing)?

It's a long-standing tradition (going back to the Torah actually) that certain people have the "power of blessing". That their blessings are effective. 

There is much anecdotal evidence of this power, and while it may be confirmation bias, who cares?

Which leads to an interesting question for your table: Would you want to be one of those people who have a reputation for effective blessings?

Let's perhaps describe the kind of person has this power. Rabbi? Maybe, but not a pulpit rabbi. Pulpit rabbis are too much in the limelight. When you're the star of the show and everyone is coming to listen to your wisdom, it's practically impossible to cultivate the humility necessary to channel God's blessings. 

Actually, the power of blessing doesn't require you to be a rabbi at all, not even a scholar. Doesn't even require a beard, let alone a long one. 

Here's how it works: if a person is 100 percent careful about keeping his or her word, then their words of blessing will be effective. Because a person who keeps their words 100 percent is the epitome of Truth.

But if the words that come out of a person's mouth are not 100 percent truthful, then Heaven will not honor their words of blessing.

I know what you're thinking: "Hey, I'm a truthful person, I don't lie."

Not so fast. Did you ever say, "I'll be there in half an hour" but you arrived 35 minutes later? So your words were not 100 percent truthful, were they?

"But, I didn't mean precisely half an hour, everyone knows that." 

So everyone knows that your words are imprecise, which is totally fine because you're not any less precise than anyone else. Which is why few if any of your friends have the power of blessing either.   

Now, you could have said, "About half an hour," but you did not. So your imprecise words are going to give you at best the power of imprecise blessings.

(And I know that I'm being generous because many, many people are so habitually late that a mere five minutes would be for them as if on time!)

If that sounds like too high a bar, it's only because of habit. If you want to, you can indeed change that habit and become a person who's word is gold. And perhaps you'll be rewarded with the power of blessing. 

In Jewish thought, our speech is what most defines us as human. It's a precious gift. 

My father pursued this ideal — if he said he would do something, he did it. And if he forgot that he said it, all that you had to do was remind him and he would happily own up to the commitment. That's a man of Truth. 

His words are gone, but his memory is vivid, and may that memory be a blessing.

Shabbat Shalom 

PS - Yes, the image is always clickable!

This week's Table Talk also appears online at blogs.timesofisrael.com.

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The mission of Jewish Spiritual Literacy, Inc. (JSLI.org) is to foster a paradigm shift in spiritual education to enable every human being to access and enjoy the incredible database of 3,000 years of Jewish wisdom.