Would You Rather Be Right Or Happy?

Shabbat Table Talk from the desk of Rabbi Alexander Seinfeld

August 29-30 2025 • 6 Elul 5785 • Shoftim (Deut 16-21).

 

Let's start our Shabbat table talk with an open question for everyone:

Have you ever been 100 percent sure you were right about something, but nevertheless gave in to the other person?

I'm not talking about when you say grumpily, "Fine! Have it your way!"

I'm talking about when you say with a smile, "You know, I see your point; OK."

Or at the very least, you say, "You know, you may be right."

Remember, I'm talking about when you are 100 1,000 percent sure you're right! Not even the tiniest sliver of a doubt.

Do you know where the word negotiate comes from? 

It's Latin for "saying no." Think about that for a minute.

Simple negotiating is just saying no until you get the deal you want.

Great negotiating is finding creative ways to say no without the other party feeling like you're saying no.

If you want to learn the basics of great negotiating, you might want to click on the above image.

But not every disagreement calls for negotiating, right?

Question for your table: Which of the following scenarios might giving in with a smile be the best choice?

a. To save your life.
b. To end a pointless argument.
c. To create shalom in the home.
d. To build your image as a flexible person.
e. To exercise your "self-control" muscle.
f. All of the above.
g. None of the above.
 

Shabbat Shalom

PS - We've put a link to get this year's "40 Meditations for the High Holidays" on TorahHealth.org.